Hi friends!
This is my very first open post and I’m pretty excited about it.
If you’re new here, welcome! This is our mid-week catch up where you, our readers, can tell us what’s been going on in your world. Feel free to rant, vent or brag about whatever you feel like. The floor is yours!
I’ll start us off.
I’m Caitlin and I’m one of Mamamia’s interns. It’s a pretty kick ass gig, if you ask me. Two weeks in Sydney. Two weeks spent getting to know the amazing Mamamia team. Two weeks spent writing about anything from Hillary Clinton to The Voice and everything in between. As my Mum keeps reminding me on our nightly phone calls (yes, it appears I’m still 12), I’m living the dream.
And I really am.
But alas, all good things must come to an end, and so too will this experience.
Excuse me while I tear up…
It took me a long time to navigate Sydney and I’m still having a lot of trouble. But as a way to lighten my sad mood, I’ve decided to share a few of the most memorable Sydney experiences I’ve had, in the hopes it might help other out-of-towners, or at least give Sydneysiders a laugh.
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UPDATE: I went back to my doctor's on Friday afternoon to get some more test results. He had sent me for a follow up neck US, plus a chest CT scan as well. They were going on a treasure hunt (of sorts??) to see if there were any issues with other glands/lymph nodes. Everything came back CLEAR so doc is happy. I am ecstatic and I think that was part of the stress I was feeling last week, worrying if there were other "suspicious" lumps in my body.
Now I feel much more calm, and have to wait for my appointment 3rd week of July.
Heaven help me if they have to reschedule it.
Thanks to everyone for your kind words, you all made me feel the love the last few days. Hugs to you all xxx
Struggling emotionally at the moment. I'm usually a happy-go-lucky person who doesn't let anything get her down but it's a big struggle.
Long story short (I'll be as brief as possible) ... October last year, I went to doctor because of mood swings, hot flushes, tingling in hands, voice getting hoarse, complete inability to lose so much as a measly Kg dieting (plus about 5-6 other things). Blood tests revealed an grossly underactive thyroid, severe iodine & vit D deficiency. DOc was worried about voice changes so ordered an ultrasound (US) on my thyroid which found a lump just under 1cm. No panic, just needed to be monitored for 3 months and retested.
I got busy with work (as you do) and didn't get follow up US or blood tests til March (6 months). My blood work didn't improve much so all medication/vitamins doubled. US found lump had almost doubled, plus 2 other lumps are there (on rechecking my first US, another was evident, but not reported), but the other one has come out of nowhere.
Cue FNA (fine needle aspiration) on largest thyroid lump - came back "suspicious for carcinoma". My doc told me it has to come out quickly, definitely the lump, probably that whole side of thyroid, possibly the lot, given I have 2 other nodules (1 on left too). Had appointment scheduled for next week (after 5 week wait) to see Surgeon at local hospital. Received letting in mail yesterday to say it had to be "unfortunately rescheduled" to end of July - another 5.5 weeks away.
Cue complete emotional breakdown - I cried for an hour in frustration. My partner was a little shocked. I feel very emotional and flat and fragile today. I know I'm not the most important person in the world and there are people with much more serious issues, but this will be my first health crisis in my 34 years. We were about to start a family and I feel like I'm being punished for getting an implant in my arm 2 years ago and being "sensible". If we had let nature take it's course, we could have already been parents and I wouldn't worry so much about our prospects with children.
Doc has told me not to take implant out now until thyroid issue has been dealt with. Worst case scenario if it is cancer, then I have to wait 12 months AFTER treatment, before I can start planning children. It makes me sad and frustrated.
I just want to know what the surgeon has planned for me. Not knowing extent is driving me crazy. I need to feel like I can prepare better. I have a busy workload. I don't have a "replacement" at work so to speak, so I need to be ahead of workload before taking time off.
Am I being too precious and need to get over it?
Oh my gosh, you are not being too precious at all! I would also be a total wreck if I were in your situation. You are understandably very upset, stressed, worrried, angry.... You are reacting very normally! I wish I had advice to make you feel better but I'm not sure I do. I would rally the troups around you (family, friends, partner) and take as much from them as you need. You can't really rush the medical side of things so just try to be kind to yourself. Indulge in stupid TV shows that make you laugh, go for long walks etc etc. Best of luck. Please keep us updated on how you're faring. xx
You are definitely NOT being too precious! I recently had a scare with cancer myself at the age of 23 (within weeks of my mum also having a breast cancer scare), so I understand your worry. Try and take it just one day at a time, and don't let the things you can't change make you feel like the rest of 2014 (ie. the present) isn't worth living really well. Just do your best, and don't feel like you can't unload your worry because you're being 'too precious'!
Thank you Guest! I couldn't be more fortunate as I have a wonderful support group in my partner and family and friends, but I do still feel a sense of "loneliness" with this issue. Perhaps because I'm struggling to come up with the right words to articulate exactly how I feel at the moment. I think the thyroid-related mood swing issues isn't helping with the wide range of emotions I feel throughout the day. I just want to get back to the bubbly, happy girl that I was last year. I am having this weekend off with my partner (the first weekend in about 3 months) and I can't even make a simple decision on what we should do to enjoy it. Thanks again and will keep you posted :)
Oh love. I'm so sorry, what a shock , such stressful time for you and your partner. It's so difficult when things are out of your control. :( when do you see te surgeon? Be kind to yourself :)