celebrity

Inside the batsh*t crazy theory that Kylie Minogue and Nicole Kidman are the same person.

 

When one thinks of secret alter egos, a few examples spring to mind: Bruce Wayne and Batman, Superman and Clark Kent, Miley Stewart and Hannah Montana, Nicole Kidman and Kylie Minogue…

Wait, what?

Yeah, so last month the internet had a collective freak-out over the fact that there was no photographic evidence of Aussie icons Nicole Kidman and Kylie Minogue together, despite the fact they have both worked in the entertainment industry for more than 30 years, have been at many of the same awards nights and events, and even both starred in 2001 film Moulin Rouge.

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The only logical conclusion? They can’t be seen together because they’re actually the same person.

Retail worker fitting room poo

It's a conspiracy that dates back to at least 2008, judging by our very in depth investigation that uncovered this tweet:

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If true, this Nicole/Kylie hybrid (Nicylie? Nylie? Kycole?) is one busy woman. Starring in multiple movies while also releasing an album and touring, living in Australia/London/Los Angeles at the same time, dating Michael Hutchence while being married to Tom Cruise...

She's also managed to seamlessly grow and shrink her height about 30 centimetres dependent on whether she's a singer known by just her first name or an Oscar winning actress.

Along with that Academy Award, Nicylie has a Grammy, three Brits, two MTV VMAs, five Golden Globes and a BAFTA.

We don't know how she does it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

In 2017 Kylie was even named as a guest at Nicole's 50th birthday party by another blonde haired, blue-eyed Australian, Naomi Watts. Was she in on the secret?

When the Daily Mail conducted their own very important investigation, they asked a representative of Nicylie Nicole for comment.

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"This is nonsense. Where does this silly stuff come from?" they replied, which is exactly what they would say, isn't it?

Last week, just as we were putting the final touches on our 500-page dossier dedicated to this wildly random conspiracy theory, the annual GQ Men of the Year awards started in London.

And then... oh, sh*t.

nicole kidman kylie minogue
They did this for us. Image: Getty.

It's like they knew that this conspiracy theory rubbish was really just our way of asking for this to happen.

It is everything we wanted and more. We are so grateful.

Nicylie (Nylie? Kycole? Did we make a decision?) not only took photos together - ending a desperate drought - but Nicole, who won Actress of the Year, decided to throw as many kind words as she could towards her friend who is definitely not the same person as her.

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"I'm incredibly grateful for everything you've given me," she said about her award.

"And to share this stage with Kylie! A true icon and an extraordinarily gorgeous human being."

Oh... well, at least we still have that Sam Smith/Adele conspiracy. We're never letting go of that.