Oh goodie! 'Neck tape' is here to save the world, one saggy-necked lady at a time.

Sticky tape has enjoyed a long and illustrious career as a faux-beauty tool.

Many of us spent our primary school years giving each other sticky tape eyebrow waxes, or sticky tape blackhead strips across oily teenage noses.

As a particularly adventurous child, I also experimented with sticky tape lip augmentation which basically involved covering my entire lower face with sellotape and drawing on enormous lips in permanent marker.

But in news I’m officially filing under, ‘Are We Being Punk’d?’, America has trumped itself in stupidity and released a cosmetic tape with the very specific function: holding back your neck skin.

Yes, that’s right, that pesky neck skin that’s haunted you since you were in utero finally doesn’t stand a chance. Neck skin! How embarrassing! Get rid of it now!

From the same people who bought you, ‘Tiny Suction Cup That Gives You Fake Lips’, we now have, ‘Medical Tape That Clasps Your Neck Skin Off Your Face.’

Ok, so, it's actually called Nexsey. Like, Neck-sy. For your neck.

"As we age, we experience many physical changes and not all women can afford or want surgery," writes Nexsey founder Linda Gomez.

"Personally, I was looking for a way to help tighten the neckline without any need for expensive or painful procedures, and after lots of experimenting with different options and tapes, I developed Nexsey as an alternative!"

Wow!

The Nexsey 'Beauty Of Illusion' tape comes with a very handy instructional video featuring Linda Gomez herself, and is equal parts disturbing and truly, truly exceptional.

You should watch that video. Now.

Hmm, so, what else can we say about the Turkey Neck Tape? It's impressive, that's for sure.

It's kind of like MacGyver's Grannie from the suburbs suddenly discovered she could use her husband's strapping tape for his dodgy knee to pin back a variety of sagging skin, and bang! Becomes an overnight internet success story.

So there you folks. Find a highly inappropriate use for an everyday item and you too could be gussied up like a Christmas Ham.