"Please, arrest me officer, so I can grab some sleep in the holding cell."

“I wouldn’t have been surprised if the neighbours reported an unattended crying infant to the police last night. ‘No no officer all is fine thank you, but if you could possibly arrest me so I could grab some sleep in the holding cell that would be tops’.”

This is how popular instagrammer, Jules Coffey described just how tired she is.

“You know when you’re really tired and you have to close one eye to focus. Kinda like half of you is at least napping? That’s me typing this,” Jules writes.

(There’s definitely a joke here about coffee and Jules’ last name, Coffey, but it’s probably been made before and we’re all too tired to write a new one.)

Ain’t we all?

In a funny post Jules, who ‘grams as New Mums The Word, describes how a night with her teething baby went down.

You know when you’re really tired & you have to close one eye to focus. Kinda like half of you is at least napping? That’s me typing this. I wouldn’t have been surprised if the Neighbours reported an unattended crying infant to the police last night. “No no officer all is fine thank you, but if you could possibly arrest me so I could grab some sleep in the holding cell that would be tops”. See said child was not left to cry she was cuddled, rocked, patted, sang to, taken out into the loungeroom to watch wiggles, taken outside to look for birdies (all might I add I don’t ever do because all of the above I am opposed to but when your child is in pain like that and screaming uncontrollably like never before – zero fucks will be given) given water, given 3 bottles, given Panadol, given gel, kissed, loved, changed nappy, changed clothes, put in with the dog (she was STOKED at 2am).Sometimes NOTHING WORKS.Sometimes you just have to do what you gotta do to SURVIVE.Although I don’t look like I survived.Tooth 4 has cracked & is swollen, she has a ulcer on her tongue from chewing down on it & life is just a bit shit for her.It breaks your heart to see them like that. I’m a tough one for routine & not giving in but it’s all irrelevant in circumstances like last night.So many emotions involved as a parent when your child is in distress.Empathy, sadness, frustration, resentment.I went from saying “my poor girl it’s ok” to “stop, you are being silly now, calm down mummy has had enough!” She was tired.I was tired.Daddy was tired.The dog was tired. I’m sure the Neighbours were tired.So to women out there who have had these moments of utter exhaustion & despair, when you feel like you are going to crack, you are not alone.We are all human, it’s normal to go through all the emotions when these tiny people are so reliant on you. It’s physically (seriously though my arms & back think they have done a pump class) & emotionally draining.You have just got to do what you have to do in the moment & not be afraid to ask for help (MY GOD ADAM GET UP & GET THE FRIGGEN PANADOL) & remember ‘THIS TOO SHALL PASS’. #untilthencoffeeandwine #andflipteeththebird #iminaglasscageofemotion

A photo posted by Jules Coffey (@newmumstheword) on Sep 12, 2016 at 5:15pm PDT

“See said child was not left to cry she was cuddled, rocked, patted, sang to, taken out into the loungeroom to watch Wiggles, taken outside to look for birdies (all might I add I don’t ever do because all of the above I am opposed to but when your child is in pain like that and screaming uncontrollably like never before – zero fucks will be given) given water, given three bottles, given Panadol, given gel, kissed, loved, changed nappy, changed clothes, put in with the dog (she was STOKED at 2am).

“Sometimes NOTHING WORKS.”

There it is, friends. The honest truth.

Sometimes, nothing works. Sometimes, babies do not sleep and you have no option but to hold them, cuddle them, feed them, love them.

That’s not to say that holding a your warm baby in the middle of the night is not a privilege and a joy and ultimately a beautiful thing.

It’s to say, sometimes a mum gets so tired she can’t read or type without squinting, that sometimes she gets so tired it hurts, that sometimes she gets so tired she can become delirious with despair.

If you had a night like that last night, last week, last month, if you’re staring down the barrel of a night like that tonight, tomorrow night, for the next week to come, Jules has something to say (and we’re standing right behind her applauding her as she says it).

Mummy & daughter sushi date with my adorable little ladybug ????

A photo posted by Jules Coffey (@newmumstheword) on Aug 30, 2016 at 6:22pm PDT

“To women out there who have had these moments of utter exhaustion & despair, when you feel like you are going to crack, you are not alone.

“We are all human, it’s normal to go through all the emotions when these tiny people are so reliant on you. It’s physically (seriously though my arms & back think they have done a pump class) & emotionally draining.

“You have just got to do what you have to do in the moment & not be afraid to ask for help.”

For more from Jules Coffey, we strongly recommend following her on Instagram.

Tired parents are in a frenzy over the doll that helps babies go to sleep.