By DEBORAH JAYNE
The first time it happened, his curiosity nearly swept me off my feet with surprise.
I’d never hidden my body from the children before.
They’d never seemed to notice.
From the moment you enter the birthing suite, you kiss your privacy goodbye. A stadium-full of people witness your greatest – naked – triumph and from then on, expect precious few ‘private moments’ alone.
While I’m not the sort of person who will parade around the beach in a swimsuit or wear a revealing cocktail dress, the loss of privacy to the three new little people in my life came surprisingly easy…. until now.
It’s not my eldest son, who at ten still giggles with embarrassment at the mention of a girlfriend, covers his eyes when actors ‘smooch’ in movies and tells me girls are ‘yukky’. Rather, it’s my eight-year-old son who has suddenly dropped the mask of innocence to stare with unconcealed fascination when I strip down to my underwear.
One day, without warning, I look up to find one wide-eyed and motionless, staring intently at my breasts. Perhaps my surprise was elevated by the fact that this was my middle, rather than my eldest child.
I knew the day would come, but expected to deal with them in age order. Yet a child barely more than half my height, my middle-boy, was completely hypnotised by my near-nudity. The moment was both awkward and surprisingly unsettling.
While my older and young sons are still blissfully ignorant of all things sexual, my eight-year-old son will stop mid-stride to watch underwear commercials on the television, staring with open-mouthed intrigue at the models bouncing around the screen in their smalls.
Without knowing why, he’s captivated, totally mesmerised and taking in every detail, delighted by sights he is unable to rationalise and feelings he does not yet understand.
He hasn’t asked us about the birds ‘n’ bees, too preoccupied with his MineCraft and Hey Day to worry about where babies come from, but he is developing an irreversible awareness that has already changed the shape of our mother-son relationship.
While he’s not hiding his body from me, still my little boy who needs help washing his hair and brushing his teeth, I am no longer comfortable being undressed around him. Though it was inevitable, there is a sort of sadness when one relationship ends so that another can begin.
I never thought I’d say this, but I’m actually a little sorry to be reclaiming my privacy – if only because it means my little boys are growing up.
As mother to three young boys, Melbourne writer Deborah Jayne has perfected the art of dodging Nerf darts while tip-toeing through a minefield of Lego. In her spare time she maintains two WordPress blogs, The Misadventures of the Sassiest Blonde in Town and Poison Apple.
Did your parents undress in front of you when you were growing up?
Top Comments
It is well known fact, that something taht is obscured is more enticing - that's why we - women are more attractive to men while wearing some fancy underwaear than naked. I don't understand the assumption, that genitals should always be covered up from the sight of children, children of opposite sex etc. It gets paranoid sometimes: fathers covering from daughters, mothers from sons, men from women. It's XXI century - we all know what the male and female parts look like - covering them for all cost in normal situations like bathroom, public pool-showers, public bath, beach etc. seems so absurd to me. I think media have wound up a spiral of phobia against pedophilia and that caused that everything even loosely associated with nudity is perceived evil and sexual. But look not ecery woman and every man is a perv. Imho this tendency to eleiminate nakedness and nudity even from families is to build yet another wall among people even closely realated. My question is what's wrong when my son (13) sees me naked - I know he's become started in females, but what is so evil in it : one time he looks other time just walks by an the same pattern is with my daughter (10). Recently she's become more aware of her body, ther breast start to grow and she seems to be reluctent to be seen naked, even by me, but we tell her that it's normal phase and it's nothing to be ashamed of - breasts are normal every woman has them. Anyway it's going for good - we share bathroom: while she's taking the bath my husband or me doing somthing else sometimes - it's normal for us.
So to recap - I think getting used to nudity is much beneficial for children than guarding them from the sight of naked people especially of opposite sex. Study shows their reactions are much normal and sane than reactions of people that haven't been accustomed to nudity - the have strange reactions, embarassment, panic and all. I see nothing wrong in having coed showers, coed restrooms - At first it may be a shock to some people, but later on thigs will go for the better - less pervs, less sexually frustrated people, less sex crimes.
awesome post! We are long time nudists and routinely roll our eyes at the textile community's hangups. When kids grow up understanding that your body is a temple and is nothing to be ashamed about, many of the problems associated with nudity vanish. We never feel more comfortable and safe than when we are at a nude beach or resort, let alone at home. Hate, fear and racism are very rarely a factor in the nudist world.
The only time a child should play with a mothers nipples is possibly when there breast feeding. For any oner reason even playful is wrong and gross. Your son is 5 and you should know better. Sorry that's my opinion. I have daughters and they see me naked also, we girls also go to the toilet with the door open, but if any did that to me, they would get a smack.