Celeb in 5: Thursday’s best entertainment and gossip news.

1. An extremely important investigation: Why Paris Jackson licked that goddamn window.

Celebrity spotted in window. Said celebrity realises they have been spotted. Celebrity then proceeds to lick said… window?

Paris Jackson’s brief but controversial (if you ask the tabloids, anyway) visit to the Melbourne Cup on Tuesday has left behind a media frenzy.

In the Myer Marquee with fashion blogger Nadia Bartel – because where there is one celebrity, there are always probably others – the 19-year-old was photographed pulling faces and licking a bloody window.

Yep. A WINDOW.

But Bartel told Daily Mail the daughter of Michael Jackson isn’t “crazy”. Nope, she was just playing it up for the media and “having fun”.

“I briefly spoke to her and she was actually really lovely, so sweet, a beautiful girl,” she said.

“I saw when she was pulling those faces because I was right next to her up there, which is interesting, [it’s] because she’s young, she’s 19, and I think she’s in Australia, having a good time, but yeah, she’s a sweet girl.”

Perhaps window-licking is the past-time we never knew we needed.

… Perhaps.

2. Jess Rowe could think of “nothing worse” than being on the TODAY Show.

Jess Rowe would like everyone to know that she is not returning to Channel Nine, please and thank you.

This morning, the TV presenter was speaking to Kyle and Jackie O, and when asked to clarify the rumours of her returning to TODAY, she well and truly set the record straight.

“Nooo, are you joking?” she begun. “I could think of nothing worse myself. . . Hell would freeze over first, really.”

Oooft.

A post shared by Jessica Rowe (@jessjrowe) on Aug 7, 2017 at 9:59pm PDT

Previously Rowe has said she didn’t exactly have the best time at Nine.

“It was horrific and it pre-empted then a very dark period in my life,” she told the Sydney Morning Herald in 2016.

Ahem. We assume Channel 10 isn’t stressing about Rowe’s loyalty, nor will they anytime soon.

3. Let’s just say Caitlyn Jenner and Kim Kardashian aren’t on *great* terms…

Because what’s a celebrity round-up of the day without (literally) KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS? *wink* *nudge* *send help*

With all the media buzz surrounding the Jenner/Kardashians, as well as Caitlyn’s highly publicised book, it’s no surprise that Caitlyn Jenner and Kim Kardashian aren’t on the best of terms.

A post shared by Caitlyn Jenner (@caitlynjenner) on Oct 21, 2016 at 12:11pm PDT

During a Q&A at the Cambridge Union on Monday, the 68-year-old former Olympian touched on her relationship with the 37-year-old reality star, saying they haven’t spoken in a year.

Jenner said the KUTWK stars “don’t want [her] in their lives” and they “bashed” her quite badly after the release of her book.

“It’s devastating when your kids do that,” she said. “It really hurt.”

Despite the never ending drama that seems to circulate the Kardashians (aren’t they all pregnant right now?), Jenner’s bond with her biological daughters, Kendall and Kylie Jenner, is still strong. We think. If attending Kendall’s 22nd birthday is evidence enough.

4. All the Money in the World producers aim to replace every Kevin Spacey scene with a new actor before the December 22 premiere date.

There’s doing something last minute, and then there’s trying to re-shoot an entire movie with a different main lead six weeks before the film’s premiere.

Props to Ridley Scott, because he is going to try anyway.

According to the Hollywood Reporter, the director of All the Money in the World only alerted Sony of his decision to replace Kevin Spacey with Christopher Plummer late Wednesday afternoon and will be keeping the slated 22nd of December release date.

Scott’s decision comes after a litany of sexual assault and misconduct allegations were levelled against Spacey.

Apparently the switch up should be doable – should being the operative word here – as the majority of scenes featuring Spacey were done solo.

Good luck to ’em.

5. Lauren Conrad’s new haircut is so delicious we may or may not want to nibble it.

Well excuse us, we have Lauren Conrad news that’s equal parts very important and not important at all.

No, it’s not an update of The Hills or Laguna Beach (are we relieved, sad, confused?), but instead she’s brought back the bob, circa 2014, in an act that kinda has us itching to ditch a couple of inches of hair ourselves.

A champion of Californian cool, Conrad turned to her go-to hairdresser Kristina Ess, and the result was a choppy, shoulder-length bob, with her signature lived-in colour because honestly who has time for re-growth in this post-Trump world.

✂️

A post shared by Lauren Conrad (@laurenconrad) on Nov 7, 2017 at 3:02pm PST

However, her change up wasn’t just for aesthetics as Conrad told People.

“Yeah, I just cut it off. Honestly, it’s more of a time saver. I have to blow dry my hair while my son is napping and it doesn’t always last that long so less hair is less time. I don’t have time for a lot of hair.”

Gotta love her.