Masculinity is a hot-button issue at the moment, and with good reason. Whatever your politics, there are certain facts that aren’t really up for debate. The epidemic of violence against Australian women, for starters – and the suicide rate in Australian men. Both of these ongoing issues can be traced back to the emotional wellbeing and subsequent behaviour of men.
On the subject of toxic masculinity, there are no winners. Which is why, it could be argued, it’s in everyone’s best interest to raise happier, healthier boys; free from the burdens that come with more restrictive, traditional ideas of masculinity.
When working on my book How To Be A Big Strong Man, I attempted to deconstruct popular notions of masculinity in the only way I knew how – through humour. As someone living with chronic anxiety, effectively dealing with confrontation and conflict isn’t really in my Rolodex of skills. As such, art and comedy have become my most useful tools in understanding and critically engaging with important topics, masculinity being one.
Reflecting on my own experiences as a man, as someone who was bullied relentlessly for being the wrong kind of boy, I kept coming up against the same key points; the messages we’re sent, consciously or otherwise, during our formative years – the messages we absorb and hold onto, those which manifest into beliefs and, eventually, unhelpful and destructive patterns of behaviour.
Toxic Masculinity: An animation from Sam Leighton-Dore’s new book, How To Be A Big Strong Man. Post continues after video.
Top Comments
Yeah mate, sorry to interrupt your narrative but I should point out the highest suicide rates are for gay and trans men, those furthest from embracing masculinity and traditional male behaviours. So maybe suicide rates wouldn’t fall for men being less masculine.
Second, maybe the fact masculinity is a hot button issue with the easy addition of “toxic” to whatever male behaviour isn’t female is making men and boys unhappy? Just an idea.
Third, agree with you about football.
Finally, I’m sorry but I just don’t see women being attracted to men who cry and wimper. Respect for sure, but respect is earned and as a man you get it for being able to keep calm and carry on. An alpha male does use humour as a response to stress or danger, he keeps the lid on his emotions and inspires calm confidence in others by personal example.
Men are biologically designed for conflict, including emotional fortitude. You or me can’t change that. We can try, we can swim upstream against nature but inevitably at some point we will become exhausted and the river of nature will simply flow on and push us down the direction it flows. We have as much chance as we would of training the care and compassion out of women.