'I felt disconnected from myself.' 20 women on how they felt towards their bodies after giving birth.

Giving birth and bringing home a new baby brings with it a bunch of emotions and physical changes for us mums. There is the love for the new human we have created and the complexity of adapting to our new roles in motherhood. 

Many mums also experience mixed feelings towards our changing bodies for weeks, months or even years after birth.

For some, the feelings are of pride and awe for what our amazing bodies can do; for others, there is a sense of disconnection and confusion about what has happened to the person they used to see in the mirror.

We wanted to know how members of our Mamamia community felt about their bodies after birth. Did they feel proud or did they feel upset?

Here’s what 20 of them had to say.

1. "My baby is 13 weeks old so all my feelings are still fresh and very mixed. I loved being pregnant, growing a tiny baby and feeling connected, it was amazing. I ended up having an emergency C-section and had trouble with my milk coming in. Both of these things have made me feel disappointed in my body as it couldn't do what others have been able to do.

"I have been left with stretch marks, which bring me joy because they remind me of carrying my beautiful boy. My scar is a reminder of how strong I can be - I was scared to have the C-section but got through it and pushed through having to heal while learning to look after a baby. However, the first six weeks, I felt gross, like Frankenstein's monster, and I couldn't even look at the scar without being sad. But it is slowly getting better. The weight is still there, but it has always been there, and one day I will have time to focus on weight loss - but right now I am trying to focus on putting the washing on." - Sara*.

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2. "I felt quite empowered and felt my body was quite incredible, to be honest! Despite going through so much change, I was so impressed with how my body managed to deal with the pain and subsequent fatigue!" - Peta.

3. "During my pregnancies, I loved my body (for the first time ever) because I wasn’t worried about how I looked. I didn’t have to suck in or be embarrassed of lumps in the wrong places because I was growing a baby and my body looked how it needed to.

"I feel very similar postpartum if I am with my kids, because I feel like they are the visible justification for my soft tummy and stretch marks. I was not prepared, however, for the physical damage that childbirth did and how much physiotherapy would be required to start to feel normal again." - Kate*.

4. "I respect my body for growing two beautiful girls. I am squishy and soft and strong, and my body is still not quite yet my own whilst I breastfeed - but making two babies, growing them and feeding them is a real privilege I am proud of!" - Leah.

5. "I hated it. I felt so out of control of my body and I really wish I was kinder to myself. But the reality was, it was confronting to me and I didn’t feel myself. I had my first child in my early 20s and I thought I would have the baby and go straight back to how I was before, and eventually I did. I had my second and felt the same but knew it would be okay. By the time I had my third only last year, and 18 years apart from my first, I felt like a milk cow with sleep deprivation and the hormonal highs and lows. It’s very hard to accept all the things going on with me, but obviously this is separate to the absolute love and joy I experience from my children." - Liana.

6. "I feel very mixed. Growing up, my mum always told me I was fat and I believed her, to the point that pre-kids, I was a size 8-10 and struggled putting on weight - yet thought I was obese/overweight. Now I’m a size 10-12, I don’t like my middle but I appreciate the fact that I could carry twins to 27 weeks after finding out I was pregnant at 15 weeks. Even now, two years later, it’s a bit hit and miss, especially with bloating." - Angela.

7. "The first time I ever truly loved my body was when I was pregnant, and I love my postpartum body. I appreciate it for what it did for my daughter and how it supports me every day." - Hannah.

8. "I didn't mind my post-birth body after my first child but I hate my C-section scar since my second child. All the weight I gain just hangs over the top of it. I think if I won Lotto I would fix it." - Mel.

9. "I have an almost-two-year-old and I still hate my postpartum body. I know I should love it as it grew a human, but I just don’t."- Katie.

10. "I felt empowered and I have never loved and respected my body more in my life than since I gave birth four years ago." - Alana.

11. "I struggle more with my body image each pregnancy. My first pregnancy was fine, but my second and now third, I'm really battling with it. Pre-pregnancy exercise was a huge part of my life and for multiple reasons I have not kept it up through my three back-to-back pregnancies. It's hard! I just feel 'blah' and not my best self. I'm not sure how else to describe it? Of course, I do respect what my body has done - I feel like I need to clarify that." - Stephanie.

12. "My body felt (and currently feels) like a foreign vessel for about 12 months. I look different in my head to what I see in the mirror. I'm very disconnected." - Emily.

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13. "After my first two kids it took some time, but I got back into walking and exercise classes, and I felt good. Then I fell pregnant with identical twins, I had bed rest and gained a lot of weight. I lost a lot of weight afterwards, but I ended up having diastasis recti (abdominal wall separation gap) of 7cm. I was doing one-on-one pilates with an instructor as I was having lower back issues and she said no amount of exercise will get a gap this big to shrink. My insurance in Singapore covered a tummy operation, which also removed a 700g apron of skin. I was having to wear undies up to my boobs to hold it in. It was the best thing I ever did and that was 13 years ago." - Elisabeth.

14. "I liked my body more - it was softer. I was lucky to not gain weight or have any stretch marks and I'm sure I would have felt differently if this had happened. It's been 22 years (I'm now 55)." - Virginia.

15. "I feel neutral about how it looks and my changed shape. I have this body because of the genes that were passed down to me and the way I have lived and the babies I had. I’m glad I could grow and nourish them. I could not care less about how it looks or what anyone thinks of it. How my body looks is honestly SUCH a boring topic." - Elle.

16. "My fourth delivery was an emergency Cesarean. I struggled after that birth more than the others… the scar was puckered at one end in the muscle layer and I found it hideous. I realised after a few weeks that I was suffering from a form of postnatal depression and when the depression lifted, so did my body concerns." - Hannah.

17. "I feel absolutely strong and capable! I’m a plus-size woman so approaching the idea of pregnancy, I had many questions - would I be able to conceive? Would my weight negatively affect my pregnancy and birth?

"I was so excited and delighted that the birth went well and just craved doing it again! Luckily, we welcomed our second two years later. I felt even more powerful the second time because I felt a bit more like I knew what I was doing and took charge of the situation a bit more.

"Postpartum, I honestly don’t think about my body’s appearance. The only thing that annoys me is buying clothes, not being able to shop in stores but just online. My body has housed and now feeds my daughters. Once I get through the sleep deprivation, maybe I’ll care a bit more about my appearance." - Jessica.

18. "I felt like I was existing in someone else’s body for more than a year. Nothing was the right size or shape, not even my cheeks or my fingers. I couldn’t even recognise myself in the mirror - it was like looking at myself in a fat suit." - Sarah.

19. "It’s a roller coaster! It’s very hard to not compare; to look back on old photos from my pre-baby era and love the new body. I am two years postpartum and my body has gone down and up, most recently due to medication and stress from PND. I feel at my strongest when I am in a supportive environment. I finally got a haircut after a year on the weekend and it made me feel the most comfortable I have felt in two years!" - Rach.

20. "I was super impressed with what my body went through and how it came out the other side. I'm 18 months on and in a very different body to pre-baby, and I'm totally happy with it that way. I have no desire to get back to my pre-baby body." - Jess.

How did you feel about your body about giving birth? Tell us in the comments below. 

Laura Jackel is Mamamia's Family Writer. For links to her articles and to see photos of her outfits and kids, follow her on Instagram and TikTok.

* While these women are known to Mamamia, we have changed their names for privacy reasons. 

The image used is a stock image.

Feature Image: Getty.