By MIA FREEDMAN
A few years ago, I bought a copy of Dolly magazine for my son. He was about 13 at the time and the idea had been recommended to be by another mother who had done the same for her son when he was the same age.
The thinking was this: the only place today’s teenage boys learn about sex is from looking at porn on the internet. Not ideal. Not realistic. Not particularly instructive when it comes to understanding how girls work – physically or emotionally.
Having once been Ed-In-Chief of Dolly and having been a massive reader-fan when I was a teenager myself, I’ve always known this: Dolly Doctor is AWESOME. Same with the advice pages in Girlfriend magazine.
All the advice is written by Australia’s leading (adult) experts in adolescent physical and mental health and all the questions are legitimately from readers (at least they were when I was there) which means they’re indicative of the issues teens are facing – whether we like it or not.
So.
As I used to instruct parents of Dolly’s younger readers back when I worked there, I flicked through the mag before I left it lying casually around to see what kinds of things he might be reading and seeing.
Well. Do you know what struck me? The bodies. Not of the girls so much as the boys. While girls appeared in the fashion shoots and features, there were pages and pages of pin-ups of boys. Boys from bands, from TV, from movies. And they all looked exactly the same: shirts off, hugely muscled chests and arms, 6 packs (even 8 packs), hairless.
So I ripped out all the pages and threw them in the bin. I didn’t want my son to get the message that there is only one type of ‘hot’ guy that girls like – one who looked as if they’d been inflated with a pump of some kind and then roasted like a chicken.
For a while now, body image experts have warned of the dramatically rising tide of boys and young men struggling with poor body image and you can’t help but link it back to this new pop culture aesthetic of cut, buff, six-packs on sticks.
Top Comments
you should get done for child abuse! what a narrow-minded idea to get him to read 'dolly'. for sure, porn is not the answer. how about you and his father teaching him in a mature manner. oh i forgot, you are too busy chasing your career, and 'having it all'.
Excellent article. As a mother of now twenty seven yr old son, I agree with the changing emphasis on body image for men.
However, what I am more concerned about is that this goes hand-in-hand with the dumbing down of the role of men in general. The body image seems to have replaced the 'good man'image ie: kind, caring and above all, responsible and a man of his word. You almost never hear these as being important assests - instead I hear that awful squealing about 'man-hair' or heaven forbid 'back-hair'.
Waxing is now considered 'good grooming' but in fact it seems to be because many women want to go out with men with adolecent hairless bodies. Many guys now firmly believe that their body hair is somehow not desirable or attractive - and unatural hairless is preferable - somehow. This is a truth reversal.
This 'muscle man body' demand seems to reflect the frivolous atitude of women towards one of nature's beautiful natural assests - a good man in any shape or form.
I agree with Archy and Anonymous. What is not often talked about is the obsession much of the female media has with "hunks". Likewise the female obsession with beauty and body image that our culture is saturated with. Many men are turned off women who have an obsession with "looking like a Goddess", we want partners who can be real and human rather than fitting an image. As a man, I would much rather have a woman companion who is real and good company, than someone who "looks fabulous". Many women I have dated are hard to relax with, they are much of the time worried about who is looking at them and comparing themselves with other women. And yes, we men do talk about it - a lot. The media also has an obsession with promoting the image of the "supermum" who works out in the gym and is superbly fit. Many of our TV ads portray fit, slim women, obviously for commercial reasons to sell fashion and product. Much of the move to try and push men down this path is also, I believe, aimed at creating body insecurity and selling product. It is easy to criticise the men, but maybe a little harder to take an honest look at the influence female media and "what women want" plays in all this. I have worked for women editors who insist on "bare-chested firies" anytime men are portrayed. We have unfortunately become a very narciccistic society that in many ways is losing sight of human values. Blessings.