Yesterday, Mamamia ran a story about the Facebook Group, ‘Mummy Wars – Aussie Style’, a page that openly says it’s a site for mothers to judge other parents.
You can read that story here.
After we published that story, two things happened: We were contacted by women who felt they had been persecuted by the members of ‘Mummy Wars’. We were also contacted by two women involved in ‘Mummy Wars’ who enjoy it and find it supportive.
Today, one of the Administrators of ‘Mummy Wars – Aussie Style’ responds, saying that they aren’t a ‘bully group’, but that sometimes people need to be told ‘you’re a c*nt’…
Dearest Mamamia,
First of all I’d really like to thank you for promoting our fine establishment free of charge. That was ever so kind of you. I truly appreciate your generosity. Second, I’d like to take a moment to thank all of our lovely members and all of their kind words on your post about our fine establishment. A group is nothing without members and our members are gems.
Now, down to the nitty gritty stuff of this open letter. Have you ever walked down the street and saw someone that you immediately thought bad of? Perhaps you thought they were a junkie, or maybe you got a little bit scared that they might rob you. I’m sure you have, we all have. That is judging. It’s human nature. You may have also read a post on Facebook and rolled your eyes or thought that the poster was completely bonkers. That’s also judging, stay with me here.
We all judge. It’s just the way the world works. There are millions of positive parenting support groups on Facebook. Millions. They’re all the same and they all share the same rules whereby you must not judge or criticise. Its inevitable and an inherent feature of a mummy support group.
Sometimes on a mummy support group someone will make a post, and then someone will come along and point out the dangers or they may merely disagree with the original poster. They’re immediately ostracized as a bully and told they’re judging, even though they weren’t. This is annoying. We can’t always be supportive and nice and kind. Sometimes you really have to say “you’re a c*nt”. It just truly needs to be said.
Many people aren’t politically correct. They don’t mind saying c*nt or calling someone an idiot. They appreciate a funny troll post, like someone posting a used menstrual pad or putting pepper in their chips to stop thieves. Many of us don’t want to be lovey dovey all the time. They want to discuss stupid posts and idiotic parenting choices with like minded people. They want honesty without being labeled a bully.
That’s what Mummy Wars – Aussie Style is about. You can share posts and discuss how stupid they are (don’t start, some posts just *are* stupid. Take for example a blatantly obvious negative pregnancy test with the caption “can you see the second line?”). You can point out the ridiculous choices people make (here’s looking at you, mum who feeds their two week old solids), we can laugh at a troll post and make fun at other things. We banter, we cuss, we call people names. We don’t sugar coat things and we don’t inspect our comments for fear of insulting people. We are honest. Brutally honest. We share our judgements and sometimes even find our judgements corrected.
Watch this hilarious take on mother’s groups here. Post continues below.
You know what else we do? We support each other. If someone posts looking for help, we help them. Honestly. We vent about our kids, honestly. Because sometimes our kids are c*nts and sometimes we really need to express how badly they’re pissing us off. That’s normal, it’s parenting. Parenting isn’t what it’s made out to be by sanctimonious, politically correct “supportive” people. Parenting sucks. Kids are annoying. We are honest. We also share the funny shit they do (like the time my son told me that I was dirty like a cockroach). We swear like sailors. We meme people and we also stay up all night helping people that make threats of suicide that are most often empty threats.
Mummy Wars – Aussie Style isn’t a bully group. It’s a group of like-minded, consenting adults that don’t want to be censored.
Kind Flacking Regards,
Mummy Wars – Aussie Style.
Top Comments
These are private conversations, within a closed group. The people *in* the group are obviously aware that the content can offend, and they're decent enough to keep it to within their group, within the context that members understand that they're just venting etc. My comfort levels and feminist issues with the word "c_nt" aren't their problem-they never intended for me to read it..
I'm pretty sure that if I was a mother going through stress, self-doubts, exasperation, sadness, anger and guilt about even having those feelings, I'd appreciate a place to voice that safely, in private, with people who get it. Being judged by outsiders for the ways I express myself in a confidential setting, not so much.
A bogan breeding ground. Why would you call your own child a c*!t. If your child is that bad I think we all know who's to blame for that.