We had done it!
The preceding months had been a blur of packing and paperwork, frustration and exhaustion and wiping down walls (and wiping down walls and wiping down walls) but we had made it. Now, prostrate in the bath of our 12th arrondissement, 6th floor Parisian apartment, I couldn’t keep from grinning.
A new life in Provence – wasn’t it the dream? Hadn’t Peter Mayle sold it to millions?
And here I was, a country girl from the south of Australia, on the cusp of her forties, about to embark on my own years in Provence. Pulling myself from the tub, I dried, dressed and fell into a jet-lagged coma, somewhat smug and completely content.
Three nights later, curled on the lumpy mattress of our Aix-en-Provence Airbnb, I was dragged from a dead sleep. Heart racing, eyes bugging, my mind screamed ‘Oh my God, what have you done? You’ve just left everything. You have no job, no friends, no family of your own (in-laws don’t count, right?). You don’t how to drive here, you don’t really know how to speak here. This has been a big mistake... a huge mistake.’
I didn’t sleep again that night.
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Six weeks in, and while the extremes are not quite so… extreme, I am still somewhere between the two. This expat life, I’ve learned, is a pendulum. Some days I stand in the parc in Aix, watching the light and the leaves and my daughters play and my heart is full to bursting. On others, a simple exchange with a sales assistant can leave us both exasperated to the point of tears. The joys of shoe shopping are gone, now it's an exercise in frustration as I attempt maths in French.
90=80 (which is 60+20) + 10= WHY?????
But there are small victories. Doing the school pick up in a backwards car, driving on the wrong side of road without sideswiping one of the stupidly parked cars on an annoyingly narrow village street, is immensely satisfying. As is completing the supermarket shopping minus the blank stares of miscomprehension (mine or theirs) or resorting to pigeon English (them)/mime (me) in an attempt to be understood.
Six weeks in and I’m no longer spending the early morning hours panicked about the choice we have made. ‘Les filles’ have helped greatly - they have been thrown into a whole new life and they have just bounced. At six and three, they have no fear, from day one walking into a boulangerie and using their adorably accented French to request a pain au chocolat (only to be met with smiles and sometimes free pastries).
To be honest, living the dream in the South of France has, so far, been more like hard work. It’s daunting, at times uncomfortable and somewhat terrifying. But overcoming these challenges and fears is incredibly satisfying. Watching my children take on this adventure and completely own it has been inspiring. And there is also that we are in Provence. Breathtaking, beautiful Provence. I can work on my maths.
Eating a crusty warm baguette, in the Autumn light, while my daughters chase pigeons at the parc -I’ll live without new shoes (for a while).
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Top Comments
Been there, done that, Son is now lawyer Brit and French, has French wife and two fantastic little ones. We had to go back to U.K. but have now retired to Normandy, I find all the same problems now that you describe and I’ve been in and out of France for years,jump in at the deep end,be wary of other ex pats as they can push you into a clique. Above all enjoy and celebrate the differences, why else would you be here? Best of luck and Merry Xmas. Gordon
Thanks for your comment Gordon, it's always good to hear from those who, as you say, have' been there done that'. Will certainly try to make the most of the opportunity and embrace the differences. Merry Christmas to you too.