By GINGER GORMAN
I am a radio producer and presenter. I am a cook and textiles lover. I’m a talker, a reader and a writer. I am also a wife and a mother of two small children.
And the truth is, I struggle with mothering every single day.
In this last year or so I’ve read numerous articles about being childless. Some have been irreverent, others more serious. Even actress Jennifer Aniston weighed into the discussion, saying it’s “not fair” to put the pressure of childbearing on women.
But the most thought provoking articles were two – here and here – written by journalist Wendy Squires. They largely centre upon the attitude she cops from other women about being child-free.
The most gobsmacking part is what other women say to her:
”It’s a tragedy you never got around to having children. It’s the most wonderful thing a woman can do.”
“You don’t know love until you have a child.”
And my personal favourite. The lady who told Wendy she “didn’t feel like a real woman” until she became a mother.
I myself am not sure how one would identify if they are a “real” woman or not.
It also dismays me, and seems nonsensical, that anyone feels able to claim that their love is superior to the love another person may feel. How would they know?
Top Comments
When I think of the hundreds of thousands of dollars spent on my education, and the long hours painstakingly invested in work to climb the career ladder as I do the millionth load of washing that week or 4th poopy nappy before 9am I sometimes want to cry. Motherhood can be hard and lonely, but as my girls get grow and become more engaging yet independent I am starting to see the rewards of motherhood. I think having forums like Mamamia where we can truly share how we feel without judgement has definitely helped me through the drudgery parts of this experience!
Are we too fixated on those first few years?
When I had my first baby, I was actually surprised when the 3 hour feeds stopped - it felt like feeding a baby around the clock was going to last for the rest of my life, not just 5 months!
Now that we're in the 'golden years' (primary school aged kids), I love being a mother. It's not all roses, but they're so much fun, I've clawed back parts of my life I thought had gone for ever, and have embraced parts that I never even imagined.
I'd never dream of telling people they MUST have kids because I believe I could have lived just as happily had that not been my lot in life. However, for those of us who have gone there, I think it's healthy to remember that parenting is a long and varied journey!!