Is it normal that... I won't let my mother-in-law babysit our kids?

What do you when the person your husband trusts the most is the one you wouldn’t leave your kids with? This iVillager needs your help.

My husband is so angry with me. He can’t understand why I won’t let my mother-in-law babysit our kids, but I’m just not comfortable with them being in her care.

She’s never been very natural with them. Since they were born she’d just coo over them while they lay in their cots and rockers. Whenever she held one of them she just sat them on her knee, like she was holding a soccer ball.

Now that my son is three she is a bit better with him. She reads him books and sits on the floor and plays with him but she’s not good at feeding him, changing his clothes, helping him use the toilet and all the really important things a babysitter needs to be able to do. My daughter is only six-months-old and my mother-in-law definitely wouldn’t know what to do with her.

My husband says we can just put the kids to bed for the night and she can just listen out for them. She probably won’t have to do anything, but what if she does? What if they get hungry or thirsty or need the toilet or a nappy change? What if they need a hug or to be tucked in? She just doesn’t have the knack for those sorts of things.

My husband seems to be offended by my decision. He says I favour my mother and I admit I do, because I know she can handle anything my children throw at her. She’s looked after them sick, sleepy, hungry, thirsty and can do it all.

Now, we’ve reached a stalemate. He is refusing to go out until I give his mum a chance at babysitting and I am refusing to do that. I am the mother. I am their primary carer. I trust my instincts when it comes to my children and my instincts are telling me that it would be a huge mistake to leave them with her.

My husband just doesn’t get it and I feel like if this goes on much longer I’ll give in to him. But I can’t, I just can’t. I have to stay strong. Don’t I?

What should I do? Should I let his mother look after our kids or stick to my guns? 

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