Image: iStock
If you’re a woman who likes to wear makeup, then chances are you’ve experienced a least a couple of these common beauty faux pas.
1. Patchy/orange fake tan
Thankfully for us, fake tan technology has come along way since it was first introduced.
For those lucky enough to live through its infancy, ‘sun kissed Oompa Loompa’ was a look we will all remember well. I’m not sure if it featured in Vogue at the time, but it’s quite possible. While it is easier to avoid the tandoori look nowadays, success is not a sure thing.
At some point, every single one of us has sported the less than desirable colour of 'sunset orange' with a touch of patchy streaks for good measure. Tres sexy. The best bit is when you get caught in the rain after a spray tan. Welcome to a week in the life of a Dalmatian.
Ask an expert: how do I get a fake tan that looks natural?
2. False eyelashes
False eyelashes themselves are not the issue; but the cheap glue that comes in those tiny little tubes is. That should not - ever - be trusted. There is nothing more annoying than being out and about and having your eyelash divorce itself from your face.
It feels like a spider is trying to mate with your eyeball. Not a good look. Invest in a good eyelash glue and keep it in your bag.
“I wear false eyelashes every day. Here’s how to put them on, perfectly.”
3. Lipstick on teeth
That bright red lip looks great on you....r teeth. If you wear bright colours, it's always a gamble as to whether you end up looking like you've chowed down on a tube of Revlon. Do yourself a favour and carry a small mirror around in your bag for sporadic teeth checks.
15 women on their favourite shade of lipstick
4. Panda eyes
There you are, looking like a total fox flirting with Greg from accounts. You can't stop thinking how he must be so into you; he keeps staring into your eyes, fixated on their beauty.
With a spring in your step you head to the bathroom to freshen up and BAM! There you're greeted by a racoon staring back at you in the mirror. It's as if you've busted it trawling through the dumpster out the back; the look of horror and humiliation spread across its face. The face that looks so much like yours. Get 'yo self some waterproof, girl.
5. Pimples
This morning you were fine, but somehow by lunch time a pimple the size of Mount Vesuvius has taken up residence on your chin, nose or somewhere really discreet like between your eyes. Everyone else knew about it before you so you've had no time to cover that bandit. Concealer, my friend. Concealer.
Finally, someone discovers the ‘right’ way to pop a pimple
6. Butchered eyebrows
Never trust a woman with tattooed eyebrows... unless you too desire the Barbie look. I speak from experience, as do so many girls of the 90's. All I can say is that Drew Barrymore has much to answer for.
Unless you're young enough to be a part of the Cara Delevingne movement (lucky bastards), at some point during your life a woman - likely named Sylvia - has ripped your poor little follicles from your face, leaving you looking like a space alien. That woman owes me a lot of tears and a shitload of reimbursements for eyebrow pencils.
In future, treat these well-endowed ladies as your brow inspiration...
The best celebrity eyebrows for your browsing pleasure
7. 'Eye poo'
Had a little snooze in this morning, did we poppet? No time for a shower? Well that's fine, but you've kinda got a little something in your eye. I think its technically called eye poo. Even if you wake up late, just wash your face will you?
8. Post-waxing redness
So you popped in for a quick lip or brow wax on your lunch break, and now you've got the telltale red halo letting the world know you're concerned about your mo'. Nice. I bet you have a meeting too this afternoon, don't you? The general rule is this; if you have plans post-wax you will come out like a hairless tomato.
Got any beauty problems to add?