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Well done James Bond. This will be the best sex you've ever had.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well done James Bond.

You’re finally sleeping with a woman your own age. And it’s very likely that it will be the best sex of your life [you can find out why here].

In the interests of keeping this back-slappingly positive, we shall overlook the fact that your sex partners are still called Bond Girls.

But before we overlook it, I’d just like to place on the record that the idea of using a woman purely as a decorative ornament while the blokes get to have all the fun is very old fashioned and sexist.

I will accept your assertion that Hollywood is indeed a sexist and not very progressive place and that the idea of fucking with the Bond formula of objectifying women and calling them girls is one no producer is willing to blow up. Yet.

THANK YOU FOR AGREEING WITH ME ON THAT, JAMES. WE SHALL NOW CONSIDER IT BEHIND US.

Feminist rant over.

OK, so back to the positive: you’re starring in your next movie with a woman who is not young enough to be your daughter but old enough to have 50 candles on her last birthday cake.

Monica Belluci is so many things and it feels weird to even be calling her old but by Bond Girl standards and movie couple standards, she really really is.

The Washington Post did a bit of research into this phenomenon and discovered that this is only the third time (including Bellucci) in Bond history that there has been a Bond Girl older than Bond himself.

Of Belluci, they write:

Her co-star, Daniel Craig, is 46. The average age of the actor playing James Bond in all of the films is 43.5. That’s 14 years older than the average of 28.8 for the women whom he’s battling/rescuing/seducing/all-of-the-above.

The ages of the films’ female stars have risen and fallen over time, but generally hover around 30-year-olds. Bond movies, meanwhile, rely on consistency in the title role, so Bonds tend to age as the actors that play them do.)

This helpful infographic put together by The Washington Post lays it out:

Image: The Washington Post.

You see, James, (James Bond) it’s odd living in a world that seems to say that 22 is the Best Possible Age for women to be. It’s odd when female celebrities in their thirties and even late twenties refuse to disclose their age for fear of limiting their career opportunities.

It’s odd when 22-year-olds are having Botox and fillers to try and look younger and when these injectibles become as widely used and accepted among older women as wearing lipstick.

It’s odd living in a world that seems to dismiss the value of life experience and laugh lines in women and to sneer at the idea of her having much to offer once she is no longer hot or breeding.

It’s odd to live in a world where sexually attractive or even aesthetically pleasing seems to come to a grinding halt at about the age of 28.

James, I actually think you’re on to something by finding yourself an older woman to be your Bond Girl. Because it’s not just you.

I’ve started to notice that women over 40 have become a force to be reckoned with. They are the women at the centre of the conversation. A strong, sexy, feisty, kick-arse force doing interesting, amazing, unexpected and inspiring things.

Consider these women and their respective ages:

How cool are those women and how much arse are they collectively kicking? It’s no wonder that when I put up a vision board of these women in the Mamamia Women’s Network boardroom earlier this year for our new 40+ website debriefdaily.com, a member of our team aged 23 looked at the faces in front of her and exclaimed “Wow! I want to be 45!”

Others in the office observed it made them excited at the idea of getting older – for the first time. This came as a surprise because every other media message they received made them feel like any age north of Taylor Swift was Over The Hill.

So James, welcome to the world where women no longer have a use-by-date that says 22 or 32 or even 42.

I’m looking forward to your next film where you find yourself a proper older woman. Maybe it will be called Call Of The Killer Cougar and star Helen Mirren.

I would totally go and see that movie.

 

We’ve put together a gallery of Bond Girls through the ages so you can compare for yourself…

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Top Comments

Guest 10 years ago

And what about all the kick ass female roles:

Judi Dench as M (when she was in her late 70's)
Grace Jones as May Day
Honor Blackman as Pussy Galore
Maud Adams as Octopussy

These are just a few example of the empowering female roles, not to mention the many other henchwoman who use the wiles to out smart and out wit Bond. I guess they just don't fit in with your feminist agenda.

For Christ sake, this is a historic movie franchise, and is hardly realistic or even pretending to be. Complaining about the lack of feminism in these films is like complaining about the corsets in Downton Abby. Bond films are virtually period drama.

Nobody is forcing you to watch it.


Scones, buttered, Scones 10 years ago

It's odd living in a world where a fictional character and their fictional love life is somehow important to people.