Modern Etiquette: 'I’m a paediatric nurse, these are 10 things I wish I could tell my patients’ families.'

Dealing with tricky and impatient patients must be incredibly draining for nurses already under the pump of our exhausted healthcare system. 

Now imagine that the patient is five and demanding ice cream, with two overbearing parents by their side. 

Welcome to the world of a paediatric nurse, where mums and dads call you to pick them up a coffee and get mad when you wake their kid up. 

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To get a little more insight into the world of paediatric nursing, we asked one tired nurse to give us the lowdown on the things she just wishes she could say to her patients’ parents ...but that she probably never will. 

1. Don’t buzz me to bring you a coffee.

“The nurse call bell is not for your every whim or a cup of coffee. We are caring for lots of patients at the same time so please only call us for essential care.” 

2. We are not a hotel.

“No, a second parent can’t stay. There is only one small parent bed per patient and we are trying to accommodate lots of families on the ward.”

Image: Giphy.

3. I can’t do anything about the parking fees.

“I’m sorry about the parking charges. No, I can’t do anything about them. It’s not fun paying them on a full-time basis either.”

4. I don’t choose the menu.

“I’m sorry you don’t like the hospital food. I’m sorry it’s cold. I’m sorry it’s bland. But I don’t choose the menu, I don’t cook the food, it’s not my ballgame and I’m not sorry (even though I apologise consistently!).” 

Image: Giphy.

5. Please be nice to us.

“Thank you for the chocolates when you leave, I just wish you had been nicer to us while you were here. I know you’re panicked about your sick child, but I promise you we are doing our best and kindness goes a very long way.”

6. Keep your room tidy.

“Please try to keep your room tidy. It’s hard to even approach the bed to render care when we have to climb over the kitchen sink and the multiple suitcases you brought with you.” 

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7. Ask your relatives to stop calling.

“No, I can’t tell every one of your relatives about your condition. Please tell them to stop phoning.” 

8. I do need to wake your child up.

“Drugs need to be given regularly so yes, I do in fact need to wake your child up during the night.” 

9. We take the emotional toll home with us.

“I know you’re having a difficult day and it’s scary that your child is in hospital, but please know it’s not easy for us nurses either to see children unwell. We can have multiple difficult days with patients who are very sick, and we take that emotional toll home with us too.”

Image: Giphy.

10. I haven't forgotten your child.

“I know I may seem busy with other patients but I promise you I haven’t forgotten about your child and have their best interests at heart.

“Thank you for entrusting your child’s healthcare with me. It is a privilege to be able to help in your family’s time of crisis. Now I hope we never meet in this circumstance again – and I mean that in the best way possible.” 

Images: Getty.