Modern Etiquette: The 23 workplace rules you’re definitely breaking.

As we're nearing the end of 2024 (what a year), it came to our attention that a lot of you just simply have no idea how to behave. Don't worry — it's not your fault, we'll blame the pandemic for this one.

This is exactly why we've put together Mamamia's Modern Australian Etiquette Guide to help you out in different social situations.

From attending weddings to visiting someone's house, to navigating the ins and outs of group chats, we've got you covered.

On today's agenda… the unspoken workplace rules that I know y'all are breaking.

If you want to make things extra spicy, send this column to your colleagues with no explanation.

Let's get into it.

Watch: Horoscopes when there's a problem at work. Post continues below.

Don't leave your lunch in the microwave.

Picture this: It's lunchtime and you are starving. You only have a 30-minute break (if you're lucky) and all you've been thinking about is that leftover spag-bol you brought for lunch (yum). You walk over to the communal microwave. Sally (unfortunately) gets there before you (God, I hate Sally).

She's heating up soup so you know it'll take a good five minutes. She puts her soup in and then says something along the lines of "just going to quickly run to the bathroom."

No, Sally why! Sally is gone for seven minutes, making you wait an extra two whole minutes standing in front of the beeping microwave that's quite literally begging you to remove Sally's sad soup.

If you're heating up your food, be mindful of the other people who need to use the microwave. AKA don't be Sally.

Oh, you didn't book that meeting room? Then get out.

You come to my room, on the day I have an external client meeting? How dare you.

Socially anxious people always book meeting rooms so they don't have to deal with the awkwardness of other people hearing their conversation. So they don't want to deal with the awkwardness of having to ask someone to leave the room they booked either.

Of course, you might grab a room if you have an emergency call or meeting you need to take— that's fine. However, if you run over time into the next booking, just know we're all talking about you behind your back.

Always ask the new person if they want to join you for a coffee or lunch.

It sucks being new. It sucks even more watching everyone stand up simultaneously and head out together, leaving you completely alone.

If you put in a meeting between 12pm and 1pm, you deserve jail.

Same goes for any meetings past 4pm on a Friday.

Remember the names and faces of the "higher ups".

Don't be that person who shakes hands with the CEO and asks "And what's your name?" Do your research, speak to the people around you, and know who you're talking to.

Don't be late to meetings, no matter who's in them.

Just because it's your daily team catchup doesn't give you the right to be purposefully late. You're wasting everyone's time and yep, they notice.

Does your coworker's lunch smell weird? Grow up.

Does your coworker's lunch smell weird or are you just not accustomed to seasoned ethnic food? Unless they're burning eggs in the microwave, it's just part and parcel of a communal office.

Know your limits when it comes to after-work drinks.

Yes, you can drink with your colleagues but you can't get sloppy drunk with them. Know your limits, especially if you're new to the workplace.

Tell your colleagues your salary.

It helps all of you gain the confidence to know what you deserve.

Don't call in sick if you know it messes up someone else's day.

Sometimes things aren't going to plan, your boss might've said the wrong thing, no one's listening to you and you're just a little tired. If you decide to take a sick day just out of spite because you know it'll create issues… don't. You will always be making life harder for someone who does not deserve it.

But also, take your sick leave.

I said what I said. If you're actually sick whether it be physical or mental… take the leave. None of this WFH business because surprise surprise, you're still working and not getting better.

Unless you're a swimming instructor, keep your shoes on.

I do not consent to seeing your bare feet in my place of work. Put your tootsies away.

If someone has headphones on, don't disturb them.

Look, some of us need help getting into "the zone" so we put in our earphones to signify that we're concentrating (even if we're not listening to anything at all). I think it's time we formalised the "do not disturb the headphones colleague" rule.

Don't befriend the "meanie".

Unfortunately, just like in high school, you're bound to bump into mean people in the workplace as well. Don't be fooled, you don't need to befriend or impress these people. You do you.

Ask before you nickname people.

I know, I know, nicknames make things easier and they feel more friendly. Well, it's actually not about you and it's not your name. If someone rejects a nickname you've given them, it's well within their right. Always ask if they're okay with being called something other than the name that's on their email.

Clean up after yourself.

Wash your dishes and throw your trash out, you grub.

If you know someone's sick, do not message them.

As you can probably tell, I'm very passionate about sick leave politics. It is well within someone's right to not respond or work when they have opted to take the day off to heal so don't message them, it just makes them feel guilty and defeats the purpose of them taking the day to get better.

If you see a colleague in public, no you didn't.

You see a colleague in public, you wave them down to say hi. Now what? Awkward back-and-forth chit-chat while your partner/friends/family watch on trying not to cringe? Just go on with your day, it's fine.

Plan birthday lunches.

It's not ideal celebrating your birthday at work. If you know it's a colleague's birthday and their team isn't doing anything for them, take them out for lunch, buy them a little treat or plan a card for everyone else to sign. It'll brighten their day.

Congratulate your colleagues when they get promoted.

Yes, even if you don't like them. They will remember every person who congratulated them and remember: them getting promoted doesn't equal a demotion on your behalf.

Never give names.

Someone's done something wrong— it happens. You tell your boss about it, they ask "who did it", you say "I agree it shouldn't have happened, we're working on getting it fixed and will implement a process so that it doesn't happen again."

Never give names to people who don't need to know the details.

Always attend farewell drinks.

Leaving a workplace is always weird. You have mixed feelings, you're nervous, you're excited and you're still unsure if this is 100 per cent the right move. That last farewell drink with your friends means so much, so whenever you get invited to one… go.

Petition to make your workplace provide sanitary products in the bathrooms.

This should be a given, but unfortunately it isn't. If there are any top dogs reading this— get around it.

Want more modern etiquette guides? Click below:

Modern Etiquette: The 38 things we all really need to stop doing at weddings.

Modern Etiquette: The 21 group chat rules you're definitely breaking.

Modern Etiquette: The 26 plane and travel rules we wish everyone would follow.

Modern Etiquette: 23 do's and don'ts when you visit someone's home.

Feature image: Canva.