Isabel lost both her parents. When she had her own child, she hit rock bottom.

Content warning: this post discusses suicide.

Isabel Campbelltown was enjoying an acai bowl with her friends when her brother called her. She'd been exercising in the park, as she often did, and at just 25, answered the call without a care in the world. 

"Hey, dad has died," her brother said. 

"What?" she replied.

"Yes, he killed himself."

Isabel had a complicated relationship with her father. He was a controlling man, and as she grew into her teens, he became increasingly distant. 

Watch: What Is Self-care Mental Health Literacy? Article continues after the video.

But his death had a profound impact on her, and for the first time in her life, Isabel became depressed. 

"I felt very guilty that I hadn't done more, life kind of lost meaning and I didn't feel enjoyment about things I used to enjoy," says Isabel. 

One day, after her mother found Isabel sobbing, she introduced her to therapy, which paved the way for self-reflection, ultimately leading to her decision to pack up her life, and move to Australia. 

Despite the move, Isabel's mum remained her rock, the person she would always turn to. Over the next few years, Isabel worked hard to establish her life in Australia. 

But at age 30, five years after her father's suicide, Isabel received another call. This time, from her mother. She had breast cancer. 

"She initially told me I did not need to go to Brazil [where she lived], but I insisted and took leave from work  and got a bridging Visa B. 

"I stayed in Brazil until just before her surgery, about four months, and to the end of my bridging Visa. I had to come back or give up my life here."

Isabel believed her mum would be ok after the surgery, that's what the doctors said. But, things went wrong. 

"Unfortunately the surgery didn't go as planned and the doctors decided to not complete it. She did other treatments, but just after New Years she had an unforeseen complication and fell into a coma."

Isabel returned to Brazil to be with her mum, who passed away a couple of months later. 

"I was so deeply affected it is hard to put into words. If losing my dad made me feel like a little part of me had gone too, after my mother passed, I felt that my connection with the world had been broken," says Isabel. 

"I felt I had no safe space to retreat to if something went wrong. My relationship also suffered, as I didn't feel like myself."

Isabel became angry with the world; angry that a good person like her mother had to suffer and die. 

So when she had her own cancer scare following an abnormal cervical cancer test, Isabel broke down. 

"I went into panic mode. It brought back my mother's loss and it seemed the whole family was a cancer bomb waiting to explode. 

Fortunately, the cancer cells were contained, and surgery was enough to remove them. But Isabel knew she needed help, and started seeing a psychologist for the first time since she'd moved to Australia. 

"I stopped everything apart from work for a while and slowly got back on my feet. My partner at the time and my friends tried their best to support me, but it is hard for people that haven't been through depression to really understand."

"My mother wasn't there to help me."

The following year, Isabel fell pregnant, and was "over the moon". 

"It was such a beautiful thing. I couldn't keep it in."

Isabel followed the usual process and took the usual tests, including the 12 week scan. She was told her baby had a one in four chance of being born with Down Syndrome. 

"I refused to do any invasive tests which would have small risks to the pregnancy. So I chose to do the Harmony test instead, which basically confirmed T21."

Having worked in the disability sector, Isabel never once questioned the pregnancy. 

"I had no issues with the trisomy itself and I never had the common grief over 'losing the perfect child'. 

"My worry was about how to deal with the medical model of care and with society, which is not always welcoming of differences. 

Just before Christmas, when baby Ollie was about five months old, the loss of Isabel's own mother came back to haunt her. 

"I was feeling so overwhelmed. I really wanted to be 'mothered' while learning how to be a mother, but my mother wasn't here to help me," she says.

"I wanted confirmation I was doing things right, but didn't feel I was ever doing enough. I really felt my connection with him started to suffer and I cried a lot."

Accessing therapy proved difficult, and wanting to avoid medication, Isabel tried to manage things herself. She called on an aunty who flew to Australia for three months. But then she had to leave."As time progressed I was getting worse, I started getting brain fog and couldn't keep a conversation. Making simple decisions was really hard. I remember trying to focus on what people were talking about to try and answer with something that would make sense. 

"I got to the point where I decided I wasn't functioning and really needed something to get me out of the fog. And accepted that I probably needed medication."

The worst thing for Isabel was the guilt over how her declining mental health may be damaging her son. After a four month wait to see a psychiatrist, Isabel started on medication, which she took for about a year. During that period, she came to realise that her mental health was a "lifelong journey". 

"Not only episodes after difficult times, so I decided that I needed more than just crisis management as I had done up to now."

"I looked for support groups on Google, and that is when I found GROW."

She went to her first meeting less than a week later. 

"It gave me a place to be accepted exactly as I was. And the first lesson I was given was about personal value: we are always valuable, even when we are falling apart. 

"It helped me to learn to think on a much more positive note and to know I can still do what is right and healthy in spite of bad feelings.

"Before GROW, I wanted to feel better first, then start doing healthy things."

Giving back. 

Despite separating from her partner, Isabel is now in a good place, and five-year-old Ollie is thriving. 

"He is a gorgeous kid that every week learns something new. Everyone around him loves him to bits."

But, Isabel says staying on track is a work in progress, and she constantly strives to be gentle with herself, and accept imperfections. 

She says learning when to be true to herself has been an invaluable lesson learned through GROW Australia. 

"There is still a stigma in society. And mental health is an 'invisible disability'. We also live in a society where we are used to being very disconnected to our emotions.

"The GROW Program teaches us how to train our habits of thinking into a more positive path. It helps us to first become more aware of what we need to do to become a better version of ourselves and then provides a supportive place to show us each week what are the next steps to get there. 

"As I got that for myself, I also want others to get such a wonderful opportunity."

Isabel is now an ambassador for GROW's Odd Socks Day, held on October 4, and actively encourages anyone struggling with the mental health to contact the foundation. 

"We can only change ourselves, not others. But as we change ourselves, people around us also change in a ripple effect."

To purchase a pair of odd socks or to make a donation to the GROW Foundation, visit grow.org.au

GROW is a community-based organisation that has helped thousands of Australians with their recovery from mental ill-health through a unique program of mutual support and personal development.

The Grow Program is based on a 12-step program of personal growth of mutual help and support. The program is all-inclusive and draws on many principles for mental, social and spiritual health.

If you think you may be experiencing depression or another mental health problem, please contact your GP or health professional. If you're based in Australia, 24-hour support is available through Lifeline on 13 11 14, beyondblue on 1300 22 4636 or the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467. In an emergency call 000.

Feature image: Supplied.