'When my sister cut her hair, we thought it was a phase. Then police knocked on the door.'

Content warning: This article discusses suicide. 

Jess Walker was the girl every guy wanted to date, and every girl wanted to be. 

At least that's how her younger sister, Victoria, saw her. 

"She was sporty, smart, pretty, outgoing and charming," says Victoria. "I always looked up to her, because in my eyes, she was so perfect and cool."

The sisters, who grew up on a farm in Yass with their younger brother and parents, had an "idyllic" upbringing, but eventually went to boarding school. 

When they returned home, things started to change for Jess, recalls Victoria. 

Watch: Does social media negatively impact teen mental health? Article continues after the video.

"After school, she started dating a guy and over those four years after school, she started to distance herself from her friends, and from her family as well. 

"But at the time, because she was creative, it was just like Jess was going through a bit of a phase," says Victoria. 

Although Jess did some unusual things—Victoria recalls an extreme haircut that seemed cool at the time, but in retrospect was out of character—her family never suspected she was having mental health challenges. 

Then one night, Jess's parents received a call from her partner. She was acting bizarrely, he'd said, so Jess mum hopped in the car and drove from Yass to Sydney to check on her daughter. 

"My sister, who was 22 at the time, was walking around outside with minimal clothes on, and there was writing all over the apartment. Her thoughts seemed disordered."

Jess was taken by ambulance to hospital, where she was admitted and remained for eight days. 

"Mum was in there every day, but didn't receive any education around mental health or what was going on for my sister," says Victoria. 

"But they discharged her to Yass, to live with our parents. I think they saw a really supportive family, a family that had some money, and Jess presented as quite well.

"I think my mum was gobsmacked, but we trusted what the health professionals were saying."

Jess and Victoria Walker. Image: Supplied.

'It all happened so abruptly.'

Jess had been out of hospital for three days when she told her parents she felt ready to get back out into the world. She wanted to take a walk, to do some drawings, she said. 

"The night before she was up on the computer all night. My parents were concerned about her, but Dad didn't want to be overbearing. 

"With Dad's permission, she went off at 8am and still wasn't back at 10am. Mum was concerned so Dad went looking on the farm but couldn't see her, so they called police. 

"Later that afternoon police showed up to say Jess had [died]."

When Jess was discharged, she was given four days' worth of medication, and at the time, her parents had limited understand of mental health. While her family will never know if they could have prevented Jess' death, Victoria says a better understanding of mental health may have led to earlier identification of any issues, and possibly earlier treatment. 

"I didn't have an understanding around mental health either. Jess was the last person you ever would have thought would take her life."

Jess was 22 when she took her own life. Image: Supplied. 

CPR for your mental health. 

Victoria had been studying nursing and after her sister's death, pursed a career within the mental health space, where she's remained ever since. 

In the 20 years since Jess' passing, Victoria has often wondered what might have happened if her family had a better understanding of mental health.  

"Jess didn't get help until she was acutely unwell, and she wasn't able to get help at that point," says Victoria. 

"All the doctors at work say, it's really tricky to predict risk, so I don't blame the hospital for what happened to Jess.

"They have to go on what they're seeing in that moment. But what I think should have happened, is there should have been more education given to my sister and to my parents. Particularly as they were the ones responsible for taking her home. Her taking her own life was the last thing they ever expected."

Jen McCloy and Victoria Walker. Image: Supplied.

Hand to the Land. 

Determined to help other families who may be in the same situation, Victoria and her best friend, Jen McCloy, put their heads together and developed Hand to the Land, an initiative that aims to increase education around mental health, in particular in rural and regional communities where access to support is scarce. 

Launched in partnership with the Country Education Foundation (CEF), Hand to the Land has raised $300k to kick-start a practical program to equip friends and family with the skills to support their loved ones when they experience mental health challenges.

"These mental health courses empower people to have a better understanding and feel more comfortable to help themselves. 

Early detection, obviously working with teenagers, early intervention is super important. What might work for you and your children might not work for you and your children. 

"If family and friends, even the school, had more education, I think a lot of the signs and symptoms would have been picked up much earlier," Victoria says. 

"Often it's the people around you that are going to be the first responders in a mental health crisis. These programs are about safety planning, what to look out for if you're worried about someone's safety. If we had have had that, I think we could have started to action something much earlier on in Jess' mental health journey."

Victoria describes the programs as being like "CPR for mental health". 

"As we get older, we face more and more challenges, so I think having that general understanding would make such a key difference to everyone. Not everyone wants to see a psychologist and not everyone needs it. But if there was some general knowledge across the board, we might start to see a shift."

The programs are delivered both in person and online, which Victoria says is important, especially in rural areas that don't have as much access to mental health support as capital cities. 

"And even with access, there's still that notion of being scared to get help. They don't know where to get help, and they don't know how to get help. 

"With mental health you can't outwardly see it, and there's still shame around it. People are getting better at it, it's the last thing that we often do the work on."

Hand to the Land recently raised more than $225,000 to deliver the 12-hour program, which can be completed in person in Sydney, remotely online, or a combination of both.

For more information or to complete the course, visit https://www.handtotheland.com/

If you think you may be experiencing depression or another mental health problem, please contact your GP or health professional. If you're based in Australia, 24-hour support is available through Lifeline on 13 11 14, beyondblue on 1300 22 4636 or the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467. In an emergency call 000.

Feature image: Supplied.