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As the dust settled on this year's MAFS finale, viewers noticed that Melissa Sheppard and Josh White were mostly absent.
In this exclusive chat with Mamamia, Melissa explains why she walked off set, and shares some of the abuse and explicit propositions she has received thanks to her unwanted 'freak in the sheets' label.
“By the time the reunion was to be filmed, Josh and I were on good terms and the mood with the rest of my castmates was good,” Melissa shares with Mamamia.
“But when we sat down to watch our replay and ‘couple highlights’ I couldn’t believe it. None of the normal chats or conversations we had were shown and it was all just me talking about sex. When John Aitken asked how I felt, I just kept asking, ‘but where is the rest of the footage? There has to be more than this?’ Josh actually comforted me as tears were in my eyes.
“I felt shocked and upset and after we stopped filming, Jesse was there to listen and comfort me. Eventually, a producer came to reassure me that the public would see the real me. But I knew that wasn’t the case, that this portrayal of me was not okay and it was all too late. I left and returned to my hotel room alone and just cried.”
The ongoing repercussions of how ‘freak in the sheets’ Melissa was presented on screen have been very real and unwelcomed by the mum and hairdresser based in Sydney.
"In February, two men turned up at my salon to ask 'if I wanted a good f**k?', then shortly afterwards a woman came in to tell me that her 'son would give me good f**k!'" Melissa tells Mamamia.
"It was weird but also scary. And the in-person threats were just part of it. I read hundreds of awful messages and comments that said things like, ‘if she gets raped, it’s her own fault’.
"Before MAFS, I would happily chat to a cute guy at a bar, but now I can't. I don't know how I will ever date again. Women think I want to have sex with their husbands, and men think I'm this sex-crazed 'freak in the sheets'."
Image: Nine.
Now that MAFS has finished airing, Melissa says she has been inundated with emails and 'offers' from men who think they know exactly what she wants or needs in the bedroom.
"I've had dozens of emails from men that start sweetly, but then turn x-rated as they include photos of their d**ks and describe exactly what they would like to do to me.
"Most recently, and rather bizarrely, a 64-year-old man sent me an email to tell me how attracted he was to me before explicitly describing his penal implant and penis pump that makes his erection stay as 'hard for as long as you want to use it.' The man also wrote that he is an 'oral specialist' and would like to take me away for 'a few nights' from Sunday to Tuesday."
While Melissa says that her inbox probably puts most people's Tinder DMs to shame, she explains that should wouldn't be subjected to any of these unsolicited messages or visits to her place of work, if personal details hadn't been shown on screen.
"I've been keeping a file of all this inappropriate communication if it's ever needed, but where was the duty of care from the MAFS team? They kept saying they had my back but now it very much feels like this was not the case at all.
"When people ask me what my experience was like, I tell them 'I got shat on'."
Melissa says that what hurts the most is that she wanted to go into the show to bring some 'real' representation of women over 40 to reality TV.
"I think we were all so used to seeing beautiful young 'models' on MAFS it felt good to be going in as a normal woman with a normal body and what I thought was a normal healthy attitude towards sex.
"I know my body isn't like it was in my twenties but amongst my beautiful friends I always felt good, strong and confident. But then I was filmed in my swimmers on our honeymoon and suddenly I was receiving online abuse from (mostly) women telling me I was 'disgusting'.
"I am only 42 and I know I am actually a very normal curvy girl. But I was so viciously shamed and because my body shape seemed to be tied up with me being a supposedly sexually dominant person. It wasn't just body shaming, but slut shaming too."
Melissa and friends. Image: Supplied.
Melissa admits that while she did and said some things that gave her the 'horny mum' reputation, it absolutely wasn’t what she signed up for.
“Years ago, when my ex-husband and I saw a relationship coach, I remember the advice we were given that regular weekly sex was a normal part of a happy marriage. This was all I wanted; not to be a porn star or shamed for talking openly about healthy sex."
Melissa says that her sex-based narrative began even before her MAFS marriage ceremony to Josh.
"The producers secretly asked my sister to organise two boxes to be presented to me on my wedding day. There was to be a sentimental box filled with items such as the hair clip I wore in the ceremony from my grandmother. Then there was a budget for my sister to buy some kinky things to pop in a ‘sex box’ to surprise me with and one of those items was a pair of fluffy handcuffs. I remember we laughed and whooped and I can see now that it served to support the jovial comments I made about wanting my husband to have a 'big hammer like Thor'!
"The irony is there were no actual sex toys in that box and in fact I had never owned one until we were given the freebies while filming the show!"
Melissa says that as she and Josh later flew off to go on our honeymoon, she remembers packing the ‘sex box’ in her carry-on luggage which was confiscated by airport security.
"I just thought 'oh well' but at the time I remember my producer really causing a fuss and trying to get it back.
"As I later watched how my edits unfold from the honeymoon where they only used the bits where I come across as either dominant or hyper-sexual, I understood why the fluffy handcuffs were so important. They formed part of my narrative and character as Melissa from MAFS the ‘freak in the sheets’. But that wasn’t me – she never existed.”
In spite of all the challenges and abuse Melissa has fielded, she says she has learned some hard lessons but ultimately is still hopeful she will find love.
“It sounds obvious now but I wish looking back I hadn’t given so much of myself. I was too honest and did what was asked of me, and now I wish so much that I hadn’t.
“While I’m not yet ready to date, I do still hope to find love. In time, I’ll get back out there. I feel like my confident, gorgeous man has seen me and will find me.
“And when he does, I can’t wait for what happens next.”
To keep up with Melissa's journey outside of MAFS, follow her Instagram account @melissasheppard1
Laura Jackel is Mamamia's Family Writer. For links to her articles and to see photos of her outfits and kids, follow her on Instagram and TikTok.
Feature Image: Supplied.
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