dating

Mel Greig writes about dating just months after her separation. She's not enjoying it.

I have been separated for a few months now and I’ve been testing the waters with online dating and let me say this very clearly I DESPISE IT. I went on Tinder for a whole 24 hours to find out what the hype was about, you hear of Tinder success stories and that it’s more than just hooking up. I wanted to find out for myself.

Tinder is the most superficial and judge-mental form of dating I’ve ever seen, you create a very simple account with a few hand selected photos which are of course the hottest photos of you that exist… even if they are from 10 years ago when you first hit puberty. This isn’t like Facebook where you can creep through all stages of someone’s life and get a whole picture of who they are. In 3 seconds, based on a picture you need to determine if this guy is hot enough to proceed… what about his personality? What about his life and who he is? Will he treat me well?

Nope, just 3 seconds to tap into how vain you are and work out if you think they are hot enough. I swiped right on 10 guys in total and received an instant message from all of them (totally not bragging, it’s hard to get rejected on Tinder) but this instantly felt wrong. It mainly felt wrong because I’d forgotten how to flirt and what the hell do we chat about late at night on a Friday night and can I handle 10 fake conversations? The lead in question was always the same too ‘Hi how are you?’... Bad question. Whenever you ask someone how they are you don’t expect the real response ‘Oh hey, I’ve just separated from my husband and I’m realising that I need to shave my legs, act like a lady and go on dates again... And I don’t know if you’re a creep.” So the tone of conversation is off to a fake start already ‘Good thanks, how are you?’... yawn.

Tinder can be a minefield... clearly. Post continues after video...

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Tinder wasn’t for me, it was short lived. In its defense I did continue the chats on Facebook with two of the guys who ended up not being creepy... turns out I could be the creep in fact; I put my detective hat on and spent at least 30mins creeping through their Facebook account to get a more accurate indication of who they are... that’s normal yeah? #stage10clinger. But there’s still a blue eyed babe hanging on, I don’t mind him. Watch this space.

But my biggest beef with the online dating world is how accessible people now are, social media is ruining relationships. People will say ‘No it’s up to the individual to do the right thing’ I disagree, social media is creating temptation and access that didn’t used to exist. Apparently it doesn’t matter if someone has a partner or is married... My soon to be ex-husband had a lot of women contact him online knowing very well he was married... And yesterday I posted a photo of my new Kardashian ass thanks to my new weight-loss regime (I was fully clothed) and I received 20 new messages... 90% of the men were married with children or had a partner. I can’t begin to tell you how angry this makes me.

The photo of Mel Greig that caused all the controversy. Image supplied. 

At what point did people lose their morals? How could you disrespect a loved one so much? What happened to ‘Till death do us part’? And why do people find that tempting?... Thanks mate, I’d love to hook up with you and maybe I can stay in the spare room and we will play happy families? If you aren’t happy in your relationship get some balls and do something about it. It’s just as bad on Instagram, if you are married why are you creeping on people’s accounts liking all of their hot pictures?

Maybe I’m old fashioned but I miss the days of sitting in the kitchen on the home phone having a chat to a boy with mum cooking in the kitchen supervising. If a guy is interested in you... don’t we deserve a phone call or a bunch of flowers instead of a dick pic?