"You can't say this so I will." The 10 biggest takeaways from Meghan Markle and Mindy Kaling's podcast.

Meghan Markle's new podcast Archetypes is three episodes in, and it's already skyrocketed to the top of the charts.

Almost two years after signing a big podcast deal with Spotify, the Duchess of Sussex's podcast premiered late last month.

For this week's episode, Meghan sat down with actor and screenwriter Mindy Kaling to talk about her experience of becoming a single mum by choice. There were also plenty of personal stories shared by Meghan too.

Watch the trailer for Meghan Markle's new Archetypes podcast. Post continues below.

Here are the 10 biggest takeaways from the episode.

1. At 14, Meghan planned out her wedding in a high school assignment.

Meghan opened the podcast episode by sharing this fun fact. But she didn't plan her future wedding on her own accord - no, it was a mandated school assignment at her religious all-girls high school.

"This wedding was an assignment for my religion class. I remember every little detail about it," she said.

"I wanted it to be at the Bel-Air Hotel in Los Angeles, with a swan lake, and a strapless and poofy dress that I'd seen in a bridal magazine. I took this project seriously, I wanted to get an A, and I did. What strikes me now is the fact that this project even existed."

2. Meghan adored reading Archie Comics growing up.

At the start of the episode, Meghan and Mindy spoke about their childhoods and how they first remember reading and hearing about relationships in popular culture. 

For Meghan, it was via Archie Comics, which often featured a teenage love triangle between main characters Archie, Betty, and Veronica. 

And no, before you ask, Meghan did not name her son Archie after the comic book franchise.

"My parents split up when I was two or three years old, and I always wanted this sort of cookie-cutter perfect-looking life, and you look at [Archie Comics] and there's a boy in a letterman jacket - I romanticised that," Meghan explained.

"I always thought I'm way more Betty than Veronica. I'm the smart one, not the pretty one, so all this stuff was wrapped up in the Archie comic books. It was aspirational."

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3. Mindy Kaling always thought she would marry and have kids young.

Mindy Kaling always envisioned having children at a young age.

"I'm a highly traditional person - I came from a really happy nuclear family, and I wanted that for myself," she explained on Archetypes. 

"Growing up, I used to write in journals, 'I'm going to grow up and get married to a guy named Josh and we're going to have five children, and I'll start when I'm 24.'"

But 24 came and went. By that stage, Mindy had just landed a job as a writer for The Office - a role that would set up the rest of her career. She wasn't ready to have kids yet, so she put it off. 

Later on, as she reached her late 30s, Mindy decided to become a single mother by choice. She had her first child, daughter Katherine Swati, in 2017, and her second child, son Spencer Avu, in 2020.

"My parents had this strong relationship and bond, when things got tough, they had a good foundation. I had a lot of reasons for thinking, 'Alright, I haven't met the right person yet, I don't want to rush it'. For some, the ring on the finger is really important to them and their family."

Mindy added that she never felt attractive while growing up as a "dark-skinned Indian girl, overweight, glasses, in white suburbs of Boston."

"I went through high school. No boyfriends. Heard about my friends kissing, falling in love, losing their virginity. College. Same. Nothing. Always a spectator. Watching things," she shared.

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4. Mindy and Meghan reflected on how they previously imagined their future lives.

"I'm amazed at how different my life looks like now: I'm 43, I have two kids, I live with a nanny who I love," Mindy said.

"It’s funny how different it is than how I imagined at 13 or 15 years old. I’m sure you feel the same way," she added. 

"Well, of course," Meghan responded. "There are some things you just can’t imagine. I think you have an idea of what it’s supposed to be, most people - especially women - are willing to compromise."

"I can say this, even if you can’t," Mindy responded. "What you’re saying is absolutely true, because - I don’t know if you feel this way, and you probably can’t say even if you do - my life is filled with women who are late 30s or early 40s who are so successful and they have partners who aren’t and I’m often amazed. 

"I think to myself: 'I’m such an ambitious person. I know this about myself. I like people who are driven by fanatical passion. And I need to be around that person.'

"Do I think that always makes healthy marriages? No. But I don’t think I could be in a relationship with someone who wasn’t the same way. And I see a lot of women who are fine doing it. And I’m sitting there thinking: 'I don’t know what you see in that guy.'"  

5. Meghan said the commentary about "how lucky she was" for a prince to fall in love with her was irritating.

Meghan shared that anyone who suggested the narrative that she had been swept off her feet by a handsome prince had "got it all wrong".

"Everyone would say, 'Oh my God, you're so lucky [Harry] chose you," Meghan shared on the podcast. 

"And at a certain point, after you hear it a million times over, you're like, 'Why, I chose him too?' But thankfully I have a partner who was countering that narrative, and saying, 'They've got it all wrong. I'm the lucky one because [Meghan] chose me.'"

6. Mindy sometimes overthinks the fact that her kids don't have a father.

Mindy shared that she sometimes asks herself: "Why am I not the person who got married?"

It's something that doesn't pop up often in her mind, but that doesn't mean the thought doesn't exist. Reflecting on her strong relationship with her father, Mindy said she wishes that her kids had that same opportunity. 

But as many non-nuclear families can attest to, having two biological parents isn't the only great archetype - as long as there are stable and loving role models, that's all a child needs. And that's a sentiment Mindy said she knows deep down. 

"I do know that it would be so valuable for my kids - that they have a dad. But that wasn't my family's lot in life, and I do think about that with wistfulness and fear. What will they think when they get older about that?"

7. Mindy on her decision to have two children on her own.

Whilst discussing single mum life with Meghan, Mindy said she recognises that without her strong financial security and a great network around her, she would have struggled more with raising her two children.

"My father and my stepmother are picking up my daughter from camp today. And I have a nanny that lives with me. I have my community. I also waited until I was in my late 30s to have children because I knew I needed the resources to do it comfortably and not everyone has those abilities," she said.

"I'm okay. I'm a rich, successful woman with nice clothes and a nice family, I'm okay."

8. Mindy gave some great insight into the Met Gala.

When Mindy was invited to the Met Gala for the first time, it was a dream moment for her.

"I love getting dolled up. I would read about the Met Gala for years - who wore what and all. I did feel fraudulent the first year that I went. I didn't know the 'certain things' you're supposed to do. I was staying downtown with a friend and was supposed to stay uptown near the Met. You're supposed to get in a standing van so your dress doesn't crinkle, but I went in the backseat of a cab. I was so honoured to go, and that's how I feel every single year I'm invited."

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9. Mindy and Meghan spoke about the 'sad single girl' trope, and why people need to move on from it.

Given this Archetypes episode was dedicated to the 'stigma of the singleton', it makes sense that this point featured heavily in the podcast. And there were some interesting conversations surrounding it.

"You get this feeling from people that... your existence as a single woman at a party, you feel like you're changing the vibe. Everyone's worried for me or sad for me, and they want to set me up with some loser they know," Mindy said.

"[In their minds] they think, 'Oh there's no happiness greater than a life in the bed of a man who loves you'. I think that could be great, but I also promise you that I'm happy and I'm not just saying that."

10. Meghan returned to her all-girls high school to see whether they were still making the students do a wedding assignment like she did when she was 14.

To go full circle, Meghan ended the episode by going back to her first anecdote about the wedding assignment she did at 14 years old.

Recently, Meghan went back to her all-girls Catholic high school, and when she spoke to the students, she asked them whether they were still doing the assignment so many years on. And their response gave Meghan hope.

"I asked them about the assignment. They all looked at me with a blank face. They had no idea what I was talking about. Turns out that assignment doesn't exist anymore. The teachers and the administrators removed it from the curriculum," Meghan said.

And for the students she did speak with, they assured her that if that assignment had been given to them, they felt confident enough to push back against it. 

Feature Image: Instagram @mindykaling.

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