1. Megan Gale went on a dinner date without her newborn. HOW VERY DARE SHE.
North Korea. Donald Trump. Nuclear weapons. All reasonable things to be worried about.
But, please ignore all of those while we freak the flip out that Megan Gale went to dinner with her partner, Shaun Hampson. Please excuse the President of the United States declaring “fire and fury” and spend your time yelling at the model and businessperson for having a “one to two hour” break away from her newborn child.
No, we mean it. People (idiots) actually did this.
After posting a photo to Instagram of a date night with her partner, all hell descended, with followers (ahem, sorry, idiots) suggesting the mother-of-two mustn’t care about her children.
HOW DARE A MOTHER EAT IN PEACE?!?!?! The unfairness of it all.
You know, when said children were with their very capable grandparents all along.
Like… really, people? REALLY?
“For sure we have to devote the majority of our time to our kids. However, IF it can be managed well, stealing an hour or two, here and there as a couple or an individual is a “win” for parents,” Gale had to edit her Instagram caption to read after trolls flocked to her comments section.
“If you’ve ensured your child is well looked after in your absence, then there is nothing wrong with some alone time as a couple or as an individual. You’ll be happier people for it and more importantly, better parents.”
Love you, Megan. Hope you got a decent carbonara, at least.
2. Don’t worry about pot-plant lover Jarrod! Before The Bachelorette he ‘banged 1000 chicks’! Brilliant!
If you found yourself thinking, ‘Poor Jarrod, he just wants to find very intense, horticulture-friendly love’ while watching The Bachelorette, fear not friends.
According to an oh-so credible unnamed source, who spoke to oh-so factual publication Woman’s Day, some rather peculiar revelations came out of the contestants playing Never Have I Ever on episode 1.
The producers just didn’t air the vineyard owner talking about how many times he’s, erm, tended to his big vine.
The sneaky buggers.
“[He] claimed he’s slept with over 1000 women. None of the guys believed it but he stuck by it and seemed proud of it!” the ‘source’ *cough* probably Ryan *cough* told the mag.
Listen: Can’t get enough of The Bachelorette? Listen to Zara McDonald and Michelle Andrews discuss last week’s biggest moments on Bach Chat:
3. Ariana Grande dyed her hair grey and it actually looks great.
Singer Ariana Grande has been the queen of high ponytails since what felt like the dawn of time (or, you know, 2014).
Anyway, Ariana has switched up le olde tresses with a fresh lick of grey hair dye.
Hold fire. It actually looks good.
The 24-year-old posted an image to Instagram of her new hair colour, which fans are loving: grey. (FYI: It’s definitely grey – if you’re like us and thought ‘what a lovely shade of lilac!’, you would be wrong. It’s grey.)
This isn’t the first time Grande has opted for this colour; she wore a similar coloured wig in her 2015 music video, ‘Focus’.
4. We know Kylie Jenner is pregnant. Kylie Jenner knows we know she is pregnant. Proceeds to use this fact to troll us all.
Excuse us, Kylie freakin’ Jenner.
We KNOW that our obsession over what/who is inside your belly right now is a little… weird. But, look, let’s get to the bottom of this:
We know you are preggas. Fertilised. Up the duff. Expecting. Cooking a bun in your oven. Etc.
We are all on the same page here. Therefore, you wearing these ridiculous garments on your Instagram is becoming slightly silly. You do not need to wear such absurd things to cover your bump. You look like a four-year-old wearing her dad’s smock for art class.
We get that you’re trolling us like damn fools (which we are) but please stop it with the comically oversized garments. Just admit you’re preggas. We could go on with our lives then. Thanks.
5. People are saying Sophie Monk ‘fled’ to Thailand to mend her broken heart. Those people are stupid.
Sophie Monk went on a holiday to Thailand and put Australia’s tabloid media into a rumour-fuelled spiral, making claims like that she’d “fled” to the Asian country to “mend a broken heart”.
Well, now The Bachelorette has explained: she wasn’t “fleeing” anything but herself, and her big ol’ mouth.
Monk told KIIS 1065 radio hosts Dave Hughes and Kate Langbroek on Tuesday that she went to Thailand to “keep my mouth shut”.
And then she quashed all claims she and her chosen beau had split, much to the joy of Bach fans such as ourselves.
“Yes, we are still together and still in love … I’m very happy,” she told Hughesy and Kate.
THANK GOD.
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