This post deals with stillbirth and miscarriage and might be triggering for some readers.
Maya Vander is a fan favourite on Netflix's Selling Sunset. Loved for her blunt honesty and humour, the Israeli-American realtor has opened her life up for viewers to see for over five seasons on the reality TV show.
In the latest season, we saw Maya was pregnant and getting ready for the birth of her child. But when the cameras stopped in December 2021, Maya experienced a stillbirth at 38 weeks.
While Selling Sunset season five was playing out on screens, Maya said that although she enjoyed the season, watching back on her pregnant self was challenging.
And this week – six months on from the stillbirth – Maya has sadly shared the news that she recently experienced another miscarriage.
Watch: A tribute to the babies we've lost. Post continues below.
Maya shared the news on her Instagram stories alongside an image of her sleeping three-year-old son Aiden, saying she has experienced another pregnancy loss.
"I had a very crazy week," she said. "Miscarriage after 10 weeks… following my stillbirth. But my kids and my husband are absolutely my blessing and I am so lucky to be their mother!"
She credited her partner, David Miller, their son Aiden and two-year-old daughter, Elle, with giving her "joy and happiness".
"Hug and love the people you care about. Don't take things for granted."
During her time on Selling Sunset, Maya had been open about previously experiencing two miscarriages before the birth of Aiden.
In July 2021, Maya announced she was expecting, writing on Instagram: "Here we go again, baby number three will be our Christmas/Chanukah present! Some people think I'm crazy for having a third child, but I can’t express enough how grateful I am to be these babies' mum. Pregnancy is such an incredible experience, one I'd never take for granted. A woman's body can do incredible things."
For the next four to five months, Maya was filming for season five of Selling Sunset, showing houses, talking real estate and group drama, along with preparing for her new baby.
Maya said her pregnancy had been relatively smooth with the realtor travelling regularly, staying active and experiencing no "serious symptoms".
At the time, Maya said, "The last few months have flown by between work, kids and filming. Can't believe 2022 is almost here and so is baby number three!"
Soon after filming wrapped up, Maya went to a regular checkup. The baby had been moving a lot during the course of her pregnancy, but near the 38-week mark, she noticed less movement and decided to go for a private ultrasound.
After a regular visit with her obstetrician, it was then the doctor confirmed they could not find a heartbeat.
"They rushed me to an ultrasound, which confirmed that I lost my baby. I was in complete shock. I called my husband hysterical, and the doctors were devastated as well," she told parents.com.
Hours later, Maya then had to deliver her baby. Her husband David wasn't able to be in the room, as he had COVID at the time. It wasn't until Maya had delivered her baby, a son she called Mason, that David was then allowed to come and say goodbye to his child.
Listen to No Filter: Coping with pregnancy loss. Post continues after audio.
"I had a vaginal delivery, which was a painful one because they could not find the right spot to give me the epidural," Maya said to parents.com.
"Thank God my gyno was amazing and so was the hospital staff. I was shocked and confused. I decided then to connect with him [Mason] and spend time with him. He is our son, the son that was never lucky enough to get our love. I am looking at a perfectly developed baby, he looked like my son, looked like my husband."
The next few days were a blur for Maya and her family. They decided to send Mason to have an autopsy to discover more and afterwards held a funeral for him, where he was buried.
"He deserves a place for us to go and grieve. I was so ready for a third kid, and it's just not fair to him," she said to E! News.
Soon after the stillbirth, Maya decided to share the news on Instagram. She knew that given her pregnancy had been a big storyline on Selling Sunset, it had to be addressed in some way.
"Yesterday was the hardest day of my life," she wrote. "I always heard of it but never imagined I'll be part of the statistics. Instead, I get to go home with a memory box. I do not wish this on anyone. What was a regular weekly checkup turned into a nightmare that I never imagine will happen to me. You will always be in our heart, baby Mason."
Right around the corner was Christmas as well, and for Maya it made things hurt even more.
On Instagram at the time she said: "This is not the Christmas Eve I had envisioned. This was the day Mason would have come home with us. It's been two weeks since I lost my child. I am smiling in the photo, but I got to tell you, it's been difficult. I never experienced grief this way."
She went on to say that her and her husband are taking one day at a time and "trying our best for the kids". When it comes to Aiden and Elle, Maya said they are too young to fully understand what’s happened.
"My daughter doesn't understand because she's like one-and-a-half. My son, he doesn't fully understand. But when he sees my husband and I when we cry, he tells us, 'don't be sad, mommy' and it breaks my heart even more. I think once they do understand, I would always tell them they had a brother. They will know the story."
Months on from the stillbirth, Maya said watching herself pregnant on Selling Sunset season five was a bit triggering.
Speaking to She Knows, Maya said it was hard to revisit, but that watching the show's drama between Christine Quinn and the rest of the cast "feels like high school in comparison".
"I'm looking at myself fully pregnant [on season five] and I could have an almost five months old baby right now. It's hard. I'm going to continue sharing. It helps my healing and I think it helps other women and families knowing that they're not alone."
Maya has since decided to leave Selling Sunset too.
After landing a great $12.5 million dollar deal for The Oppenheim Group, Maya knew it was a good ending note.
She told the other agents: "At the end of the day I know I have to take a break from bouncing to LA and I'm gonna miss you guys. LA will always be home. It is, in a way, closing a chapter and it's bittersweet. But at the same time, I’m very excited to focus on what’s really important in life, which is my family."
She has since set up her own real estate business, called the Maya Vander Group, in Miami – so she can stay close to her family.
As for what life looks like for Maya in the future, she said she's trying her best to be strong, and hopes by sharing her experience, other women know they're not alone.
"Every day is better in a sense that I am not falling apart. I am busy with my two children, my husband, work. We have a great support system – family, friends. We are going to therapy. To all the women out there that experience the same thing: it's not your fault."
If this has raised any issues for you or if you would like to speak with someone, please contact the Sands Australia 24-hour support line on 1300 072 637.
This post was originally published on May 2, 2022, and updated on June 23, 2022.
Feature Image: Netflix/Instagram @themayavander.
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