Matt and Abby Howard, the high school sweethearts turned social media sensations, have crafted a picture-perfect life on TikTok.
With over 5.3 million followers on the platform and another 7 million subscribers on YouTube, the Christian couple from Phoenix, Arizona, has become one of the most-watched duos in the digital world.
But behind their curated family content lies a series of controversies that have left many viewers questioning the reality behind their seemingly idyllic relationship.
This week, the couple has had to defend their parenting style, following a now-viral post they made while on a family cruise.
Here's everything you need to know about Matt and Abby Howard.
Meet Matt and Abby: High school sweethearts turned TikTok stars.
Matt and Abby's journey from high school romance to TikTok stardom began in their teenage years. They met, fell in love, and continued their relationship through university at Missouri State University.
By 2019, they were married and have since welcomed two children, Griffin and August.
Watch: Parenting 101. Post continues below.
Quickly, the couple built themselves a social media empire, posting a blend of relatable family moments, viral dance trends, and insights into their "traditional" marriage — content that resonated with millions.
Their success on TikTok led to the creation of their podcast, Unplanned, where they spoke about all things related to marriage and parenting. But along the way, it's also exposed what some listeners believe to be troubling dynamics within their relationship.
The family cruise parenting dilemma.
In September, Abby, Matt and their two boys went on a family cruise, documenting parts of the trip on social media.
In an Instagram story, Abby said she and Matt had decided to go to dinner on the ship by themselves, after their sons "weren't enjoying" the previous dinners.
The couple said they went to dinner at one of the vessel's restaurants and left their young children sleeping in their cabin.
"We switched our dinner time to after their bedtime and FaceTimed the [baby] monitors while we ate. And that worked out much better for everyone," Abby explained in the Instagram story.
The backlash was swift. Parents jumped on the TikTok to admonish the TikTok couple for appearing to leave their children unattended while they went to dinner.
Now the couple has posted a video on Instagram, responding to the parenting criticism.
Matt clarified that Abby's extended family was also on the trip, saying the suggestion that the kids were alone in their rooms was "completely untrue".
"We had someone with our children at all times on this boat. Period."
"We love our children more than anything in the entire world and we're very protective of our kids," he said.
Abby added: "I can see where my [Instagram] story did lead to misunderstanding, which is why I ended up deleting it several hours after posting it."
The Father's Day boycott.
Another of the couple's recent controversies erupted when Matt and Abby announced they were "boycotting" Father's Day 2024. What seemed like a minor personal decision quickly spiralled into a heated online debate about entitlement, gender roles, and the pressures of social media life.
In a May 2024 episode of their Unplanned podcast, Matt and Abby revealed that they would not be celebrating Father's Day on its official date in the US.
The reason? It fell too close to Matt's birthday.
"Last year, [Father's Day] was June 18, which is Matt's birthday, so he had Father's Day and his birthday on the same day, and I will say I did kind of combine the holidays," Abby explained, adding that she organised a family BBQ and a birthday cake from Dairy Queen.
Matt added, "You did combine the two of them. It’s okay though. I mean you were pregnant, you were uncomfortable, you were close."
It was his next comment, however, that sparked the controversy.
"But like, Father's Day and my birthday were the same exact day and it kind of was a bummer," he added.
Despite Abby's reminder that she was heavily pregnant and had just returned from their 'babymoon' in Mexico, Matt remained fixated on the combined celebrations, describing it as "so sad" and "a bummer".
In an attempt to placate him, Abby admitted, "I'm going to be honest with you, I failed you and I'm so sorry."
The couple went on to say that this year, they would be "boycotting" Father's Day in June and celebrating it three months later instead, so Matt could have two separate celebrations.
"We talked about it, and we think it's best if Matt celebrates Father's Day in September," Abby said. They planned to make a "big hoopla about it" since "nothing goes on in September".
The announcement sparked immediate backlash. A now-deleted TikTok clip of the podcast was bombarded with comments, most of them critical of the couple's decision, and particularly of Matt's attitude.
One commenter wrote, "Matt is so selfish. Abby was pregnant, just got back from a vacation, still planned a BBQ celebration with cake… and she failed Matt? How? What a selfish human being Matt is. Wow."
Another questioned, "Is Matt a baby? Who still cares about birthdays at that age?" while a third commented, "Why wouldn't you combine them though? They are two occasions celebrating the same person, so surely one celebration is perfect."
Some saw Matt's reaction as a red flag, and suggested that it revealed a lack of appreciation for Abby and a troubling sense of entitlement.
Traditional roles and ongoing controversies.
Matt and Abby Howard often highlight their "traditional" marriage dynamic, in which Abby handles most of the cleaning and child-rearing.
In a now-deleted 2022 video, Matt "surprised" Abby by taking care of the house and their newborn, but his comments sparked criticism for perpetuating outdated gender roles.
"Don't be fooled by me picking up [around] my house because I'm not typically the one that does it. And don't be fooled by me taking care of my son because most of the time, my wife does that, too," he said.
In a January 2024 episode of their podcast, Matt and Abby discussed postpartum changes, with Matt responding to a question about whether things "feel different down there" after childbirth.
As Abby looked uncomfortable, Matt said, "Yeah, actually. It doesn’t go back to exactly the way it was before".
Then in February 2024, Matt — who dabbles in music — released a song titled “Still Not Enough". This prompted some followers wonder if he was expressing dissatisfaction with his family life, as the song included the lyrics: "I'm wondering if I'm depressed / I can't be right it don't make sense / I put a smile on my face and play the part to hide the pain 'cause there's a couple kids in the backseat."
In the song's caption, Matt denied the speculation, writing, "I love my wife and kids more than anything, and my sadness has nothing to do with them," but many fans still felt uneasy about him airing such personal struggles publicly.
In an April 2024 episode of Unplanned, Abby said that divorce "was not an option" for them, no matter what.
She argued that going into marriage with divorce on the table could lead couples to "work themselves towards divorce".
While some fans admired their commitment to making their marriage work, others were concerned this mindset could be harmful, especially for those in toxic relationships who might feel pressured to stay because of this kind of advice.
Yet another drama erupted in May 2024 when Matt posted a video of himself making homemade baby formula.
Although he added a disclaimer — "Don't actually give homemade formula to your baby. Doctors don't recommend it. This was a fun science experiment though" — the negative comments still piled in. Viewers pointed out the dangers of promoting homemade baby formula, even in jest, given the serious health risks it can pose.
Still, despite all the drama, Matt and Abby's following only seems to grow stronger. Their fans are quick to defend them, but as their audience expands, so does the scrutiny. Are they simply a wholesome couple sharing their journey, or is there something more troubling beneath the surface?
As they continue to share their lives with millions, they tread a fine line between relatable content creators and subjects of concern. One thing's for sure, though — whether it's their charm or the controversies they stir up, people just can't seem to look away.
This article was originally published on August 26, 2024, and has since been updated with new information,
Feature Image: Instagram.
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