Samantha described her husband as her third child. Then the messages came flooding in.

How would you spend your wedding anniversary?

Perhaps a romantic candlelit dinner? Or something lowkey, like a movie night with your partner? Or maybe you don't believe in anniversaries, instead celebrating your joint life through the little moments every day.

On Samantha's third wedding anniversary, she shared a passionate monologue about how unhappy she was with her husband.

"I can without a doubt say that this has been hands down the most depressing, miserable, horrible three years of my life," the mother-of-three said on TikTok.

"I have literally never been so depressed. I've never hated another person more than I hate the person that I married."

While waiting to pick up her children from football practice, Samantha detailed the life admin that continually fell on her shoulders. Acknowledging that her husband works hard at his job, Samantha said that she was constantly left with the remaining physical and mental load.

"I asked him to watch our daughter, and you know what he did? He slept since he got home," she explained.

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"What did I do? I did homework; I fed the kids; I went to the bank; I paid people to mow the yard; I got them ready for football; I took them to football."

She then recalled asking her husband to do three simple things — watch their daughter, cut up a watermelon, and make dinner. 

"When he realises he's almost running out of time and we're going to be home soon, he's like, 'Oh, I can't because I don't have this (ingredient)'," Samantha said. "A normal person would be like, 'I don't have that, let me go get it.' But he's like, 'I'm just not going to do anything, I'm just going to lay down'."

For the US-based mother, it's been years of "begging for the bare minimum every single day".

"I am a married single mum, that's what I am," she said, adding that she has been applying for jobs in an attempt to become financially independent.

"I wanted to be a stay-at-home mum. He used to want me to be a stay-at-home mum, but now he doesn't care about anything," she shared, before spilling into an impassioned speech.

"I shouldn't have to wake a 32-year-old man up for work. I shouldn't have to tell him what time to set an alarm. I shouldn't have to tell a grown man that he should probably shower after working all day. I shouldn't have to tell him to brush his teeth.

"I shouldn't have to tell him to feed his kids while he's taking care of them. I shouldn't have to tell him what to put the kids in when it comes to clothes. I shouldn't have to tell him where the clothes are.

"I shouldn't have to manage his schedule, and mine, and my kids'. I shouldn't have to tell him to refill his medicine, or to book a doctor's appointment, to get his oil changed, to check his brakes. I shouldn't have to call and schedule that oil change.

"I shouldn't have to tell a grown man if he can or can't buy something because he doesn't know how much money we have. Never in his life has he ever downloaded a banking app on his phone. Never has he ever looked at a pay stub. Never has he ever even looked at a bill to see what it costs.

"He might make the money, but who carries the financial weight? Who budgets? Who makes the grocery list? Who makes sure we have food so we can eat?" 

Visibly overwhelmed, Samantha began to cry.

"I shouldn't have to deal with the anger outbursts, breaking my shit, putting holes in my walls," she said.

While the mum said that she was planning to leave her husband, it wasn't as simple as packing a bag and taking the kids in the middle of the night.

"People can't just walk out and leave one day when you have kids and 12 years of life wrapped up together," she said. "You've got to have a plan, you can't just walk away with nothing."

Trying to stay resilient for her children, Samantha said she was desperate to reach the finish line — but it wouldn't come without consequences.

"I just have to get through a couple more days, a couple more weeks, and then what? My kids lose their dad when I quit forcing him to be one; when I quit forcing him to help; when he loses his job because he doesn't wake up himself?"

Wrapping up the story, she lamented: "Happy three year anniversary to me; happy three years of misery.

"I'm trying so hard not to be bitter, but I've just never disliked somebody so much that I should love. In sickness and in health? Better or worse? Destroy myself and destroy my kids to keep a vow? No."

Waiting for her kids to finish footy, Samantha confessed she was prepared to "go home to a fight," before figuring out dinner and showers for the kids. Then, she'd "get everything ready for the next day to do it all over again".

"Mums literally cannot give up because nobody else is going to pick up the pieces," she said.

"Dads will check out, but as a mum you literally cannot because you have to carry it."

Speaking to Mamamia, Samantha said she was "truly broken" when making that video, revealing that her husband left that night and "has been gone ever since".

"Life hasn't been easy, but since sharing my story it has all felt so freeing. I lived in silence for so long, making so many excuses," she said.

"I was tired of living that way and just decided after that video went viral, I can't live like this anymore."

The comments on the video came in thick and fast, and a lot of people offered their sympathy to the struggling mother.

"It's better to admit you went through the wrong door than to spend your whole life in the wrong room," one wrote.

"Don't say you don't work. YOU WORK," another added.

An an even larger number of people shared their own similar stories.

"I was a single married mum for almost 10 years and regret every second of it," one wrote.

"Get out while you can. It does not get better. Trust me. I didn't get out. It's been 48 years."

"When he started talking about having kids I got a dog instead. He wouldn't help take care of it. He'd let the puppy soil itself right next to him in the living room and not clean it up. I ran SO FAST."

"You're describing so many others' lives while telling your story. So many are just silent about it."

"As a fellow Samantha, it took me 12 years to put my foot down. If leaving isn't an option to you, leave without leaving. Don't talk to him, don't do anything for him. Put yourself first."

"Girl I was a married single mum, it's the worst thing in the world. Currently going through a divorce."

"I spent 31 years doing just that and my husband left me when I got sick."

"It doesn't get any better. Took me 17 years to figure that out."

"Remember this day. And use it as fuel," another suggested. "Your kids will be better all the way around when their mum is healthy and healed. Coming from someone who lived it."

Overwhelmed by the influx of messages, Samantha told us how thankful she has been for the support.

"If you know your partner won't change, just leave," she said.

"I'm hurting and healing still and it will be a long process, but I look forward to see where my life takes me in the future."

Feature Image: Instagram/@samantha__rae14/TikTok/@spettyjohn14