reality tv

Just five thoughts we have after watching the new Married at First Sight trailer.

Welcome.

Please, make yourselves comfortable.

We have important thoughts and feelings to unpack about an audiovisual masterpiece that arrived into our lives today.

It’s the Married at First Sight promo for season 6, of course.

(Or is it a very sad short film about the quest for love? Unsure).

We open to the sun rising over Hobbiton/the greenest place they could find in drought-stricken NSW, to a series of bewildered brides and grooms quite literally sprinting around a maze looking for love, all while continually referring to their “ticking clocks” (pls).

It’s set to a very emotional song from The Greatest Showman and it’s all very symbolic.

…And, well:

via GIPHY

You can feast your eyes and earholes on all 1.30 minutes of it below:

Admittedly, I’ve never actually watched a single episode of Married at First Sight in entire my life, but if it really is a show about random brides and grooms wandering around the maze from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, getting married and looking for horcruxes as the trailer suggests, I’m sold.

But look, seeing as I’ve now watched it approximately 86 times, here are some more thoughts I have. Five, to be exact:

1. It’s all a bit… creepy.

The whole chasing strangers around in a maze thing feels a bit… murdery, don’t you think?

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If it was set to a more sinister soundtrack, it could definitely pass as a promo for a new thriller series about six people searching for their friend who was butchered in a maze.

I mean, come on:

I reckon it was this guy.
WAIT, no, it was definitely this guy.
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As it turns out, the particularity suss-looking fellow in the shot above is actually Home and Away extra Sam Ball, as revealed by Now To Love.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

2. Wait, what?

Yes - Sam Ball has been kicking around Summer Bay and now he's going to marry a random stranger on national television, because of course he is.

But he's not the only ~familiar face~ we'll see this season.

Dino Hira, who was previously unlucky in love on First Dates, will also have another crack at reality TV love this season, and back in September, it was revealed cricketer Cameron Merchant would also be joining the cast. And also, Bronson Norrish from Australian Ninja Warrior is giving this a go. (OH, HIM?!)

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3. Um, why?

Look, who knows, but there also appears to be a man who thought he was auditioning for Farmer Wants a Wife and now he doesn't know what to do with the cowboy hat he brought to set.

4. Sir, why are you holding a hat?

"WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO WEAR A HAT?"

But the biggest question we have overall is still this:

5. Why do people still apply for this show?

Of the five seasons we've had so far, only a very small number of relationships have actually lasted.

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So maybe, scientists pairing random strangers together to walk down the aisle... just doesn't work.

(Did anyone ever think it would?)

Is it, though?

But hey, we're going to watch it anyway.

...Because Bachelor in Paradise doesn't start until March and we are experiencing severe reality TV withdrawal symptoms.