Trigger warning: This post deals with suicide.
The biggest killer of Australians between the ages of 15 and 44 is suicide.
More than seven Australians take their life everyday; three quarters of which are men.
Jono Nicholas, chief executive of online support service ReachOut, has referred to the epidemic as a “national tragedy”.
But why do the rates differ so drastically between men and women? Gus Worland, co-host of the Sydney Triple M Grill team, has a theory, backed by some very convincing research.
The issue lies with two words. Two words that are part of our everyday lexicon. An expression that we throw away mindlessly, rarely giving its meaning a second thought.
“Man up.”
Two words that encapsulate the toxicity of masculinity. When we tell someone to “man up” – we mean don’t admit defeat, be brave, be strong, reject empathy, take risks, be powerful and most all, never, ever cry. The demand, along with phrases like “harden up”, “suck it up” and “be a man”, are all a perfect recipe for depression, anxiety and violence.
And Worland has had enough.
His campaign “Man Up” described as “One bloke’s mission to save Aussie men” aims to address the male suicide crisis, “effect real social change and hopefully even save lives”.
Worland describes the Aussie man as “strong, stoic and tough as nails. He laughs in the face of fear; and if life ever gets him down he drinks a cup of concrete and hardens the fuck up.”
Ten years ago, Worland lost a friend to suicide. Ever since, he has been on a mission to find out how our expectations of what it is to “be a man” might be impacting the mental health of Aussie blokes.
Research indicates that men with mental health problems or suicidal ideation are significantly less likely to seek help than women. Traditional masculine norms encourage men to be independent, shy away from vulnerability, and deal with negative emotions through alcohol or substance abuse. One in four men also report to having “low levels of social support” meaning that they don’t feel emotionally connected to those around them.
The campaign to start a national conversation about men and mental health launches today.
The website deconstructs the myth of “The Real Aussie Bloke” and also offers some funny and practical advice about how to go about the “Man Date” or conduct the “Mate Test”.
But Worland has gone one step further. On Tuesday October 11 at 8:30pm the ABC will air part one of the documentary “MAN UP – One bloke’s mission to save Aussie men”. It documents Worland’s journey around Australia, listening to men’s stories, and exploring why suicide is never the answer.
Today, we can start by throwing out the expression “man up”. We can stop saying “grow some balls”, as if being a man is somehow synonymous with unwavering strength. We can keep talking to our dads, husbands, sons, brothers and friends.
If we do this, one day “being a man” won’t be such a dangerous thing.
If this post brings up issues for you, or you just need someone to talk to, please call Lifeline on 131 114. You can also visit the Lifeline website here and the Beyond Blue website here.
Top Comments
On the contrary,I think being a man is embracing all of those things.
Empathy, care, love, family.
When I say "man up" to my husband, I say,, "come on, let it out, we are a team and I know you. Let's do this together."
Because being a real man IS accepting tat you have these issues.
I hate those words Man Up and I wouldn't tell my son or any other boy or man those toxic words. ReachOut please tell me you are deliberately including/targeting your campaign to Indigenous boys and men? Please. We cannot ignore the stats that Indigenous men have the highest rate of suicide in the world. We have seen suicide campaigns in regional areas and they focus on farmers which is much needed. Our universal campaigns also need to bring in the Indigenous perspective. All our men need our support and encouragement to share their feelings and ask for help. We owe it to them to have support services that are tailored to meet their needs and make them feel valued.
Well said Neesa :))
Thank you Kimbo.