Open Post: How's your week been?

Hello! Thought I would respond as it sounds like you need someone to talk to. First off my best advice is to get on Facebook and look for a woman by the name of Jessica Bella Smith and ask to be part of Bella's women's group. These types of questions and situations arise daily and the lovely women always help sort it out and are there just to talk. The only other thing I will say is when you sit down on Saturday to have a talk, write some questions down you need answers too. Write down how you feel and what you want so that when in the conversation and emotions are flying everywhere you still know what you want and you don't get lost or "give in". If the relationship has no future and your man does not want a future with you and you want a future (family, spouse ect) then its time to leave. Make yourself available for the things you want, not what someone else wants. On another note, I have found with my partner that he has done this a few times in the past and he has always eventually come back to the idea after we have sat down and chat and given it some time. He wanted to have kids at a certain time and then didn't (which hurt me a lot and was a very turbulent time for us) but after all of that he came back to his original idea with gusto. Good luck!

Hello guest! I hope you are managing some sleep by now!
I think you take things a bit easier on yourself hun! You deserve to achieve your dreams/goals and more... Does your boy know of your hopes and wishes? If he doesn't, or you've hinted at it hoping he's put it all together, you need to spell it out for him! My husband was the same, until I helped him live up to his promises and joint goals... If you think and feel he's genuine, and that you share an amazing future together, then remind the poor bloke of it! They forget these things sometimes. Help him remember and renew his promises with you. If it's initially hard for him to commit, then you need to let him know how it makes you feel and what you potentially will need to do if he is unable/unwilling to live up to what he initially proposed.
Just be true and honest to yourself! If his answer is not acceptable to you, or a letdown, disappointment that you can't keep around, then definitely stay true to you, and move on! Be empowered that it's your life, and yours to make important decisions with! Hold your head up high and stick to your goals... They are yours for a reason... If you don't, you risk wasting time, and potentially ending up with someone you could resent and hate, possibly after children have arrived, and that's not fair on anyone!
You can do it! Whatever you decide it to be, your can do it!
I really hope everything goes well for you, and your boy! I hope things turn out the way you both want it to :)

Thank you to everyone who replied with sage advice.

After a low point of a tough phone call on Thursday night where I said sad things (we want different things, maybe I’m not the girl for you), my boyfriend and I had a good conversation about this on Saturday. I managed to stay calm and not tear-up. After he'd thought a bit more, he told me that what gave him the anxiety was the speed of deciding, not the outcomes of the decision.

I’m feeling better and clearer, as we’ve landed in a place to give us a chance (within reason), and since then I have set my own limits. We’ve leaning towards the plan where I have my own place for 6 months until end of April, then we’ll find a place suited to us both, and my two pets, together to live in. He agreed that late Oct/ November 2016 seems quite far away. This plan is us meeting in the middle, and we'll be coming back to the discussion this weekend, or perhaps the next one.

I’ve also since decided to myself two things as my own markers/ deadlines:

1/ If he pulls away from this plan when his lease renewal comes up this November, and doesn’t end up negotiating a month-to-month arrangement for his current place as discussed, and if he still has doubt or anxiety, then I will know that – although I love him – from this point, I’d be wasting my time with a lovely guy who simply doesn’t share the vision for our future that I know I want and am ready for. But that’s OK. I’ll be at the start of my own lease then, accept things and move on.

2/ Before we go house-hunting together in late March/ April, we’ll need to be clear about the plan for us and what moving in together will mean, especially timelines. If he pulls away from this or is deliberately vague, again, I will know that from this point, I’d be wasting my time with a perfectly good man, but not the right partner for me – I need us to see the same future and want it at the same time.

Another good thing was on Saturday (to get an understanding of what this would mean to him) I asked him if he saw living together as a ‘trial run’, and he said no and something to the effect of starting our life together. That felt good. Less temporary, more solid. For me, that feels like a foundation, not a temporary platform.

I feel like we’re getting to the same page, and that I have also set necessary markers in time for myself. I feel that think our current thinking will allow this within a time-frame that I feel is reasonable. I’m not going to let him steal my dreams away by losing time when it’s precious to me. I have to limit it, otherwise he becomes the obstacle and not the vehicle to me (better: ‘us’) getting there. I do really hope he gets on board. Our life would be Ah-mazing if he let it! :-)

I’m not one to talk a reluctant man into something, and I realise he needs reassurance not pressure; reassurance that that he won’t lose himself in our relationship moving forward, but in fact gain something. I’m finding ways to show him this, how great it could be, and reach his own conclusion, rather than talk it out too much now.

Thanks Dee - see my reply above.