To catch up on all the Married at First Sight recaps and gossip, check out the MAFS hub page. We've got you covered.
Ollie and Tahnee are enjoying the same Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson gag I pulled when Jesse wore a turtleneck a few episodes ago.
But it is never not funny to wear a chain and a bumbag, so I'm here for it.
Slay queen
They're good, because they're always good, while many other couples are not.
Melinda and Layton are rocky but putting on a united front, while Lyndall wishes she had a partner who... communicated with her.
For the 200th time this season: God, the bar is low.
In response, Cam has not communicated with her. Instead, he's been hiding how much of his work is done in extremely remote locations and how little desire he has to give that up.
Nearby, Evelyn is annoyed about Harrison once again speculating about the validity of Rupert's gossipy butt.
Well. We can't say this show doesn't have range!
All aboard team butt-dial!
Bronte fills Harrison in on girls' night - or the 20 minutes of it she was present for.
She complains about being "attacked" by the other women for her relationship and Harrison is... not on her side.
"You can't bad mouth your partner for weeks on end, call them every name under the sun but stay in the relationship and expect that not to bite you on the a**e."
Bronte says she can't believe he's gaslighting her - with the key word being "again".
I don't know about you, but I can absolutely believe it.
Harrison claims he has stood by her throughout all the allegations of their relationship being fake but she is now 'throwing their relationship away'.
WHERE? WHEN? HOW?
Bronte has either decided yet again that her fake husband sucks, or decided that pretending she has just realised he sucks is now the best option for their storyline.
She decides not to attend the dinner party and declares she wants to go home.
I too am flabbergasted
Steve Jobs and his ostrich Tahnee and Ollie are the first to arrive at the dinner party, and the experts congratulate themselves on a rare job well done.
Evelyn and Rupert turn up next and the awesome foursome b*tch about Harrison.
It is a glorious, if fleeting, moment of joy.
Harrison arrives alone and the entire group do an extremely sh*t job of pretending they care.
They can't even pretend to tolerate him
As he prepares to tell a sob story, Melinda and Layton arrive and suddenly all I care about are two duos: Rupert and Ollie, our funny kings, and Layton and Duncan who... match.
Dunton? Laycan? Either way I support it
When they're finished cuddling, Rupert dives straight into the mess by asking Harrison why he is still questioning the honesty of his bum weeks after the butt-dial drama.
Harrison says he's upset that Melinda shared something he told her in confidence and asks if they can just put all this butt stuff behind them.
Rupert and Evelyn say he should just own his sh*t, which is funny for two reasons:
1. It is exactly what Harrison told Adam to do at the boyz night and
2. He will never, ever do that and we all know it.
He does not want to talk about where Bronte is, leaving every single person involved in the show to utter the words "where is Bronte?" as suspiciously as they can, as if this is the opening sting of a true crime podcast.
Harrison wonders why he can't come alone to a dinner party, designed for fake couples on a dating reality show, to hang out with his mates.
Tahnee and Ollie wonder who he's talking about, because he's not their mate. He's just... "a guy".
A perfect sledge, chef's kiss, no notes.
He says he and Bronte are over and there is "unequivocally" no chance he will choose to stay at the next commitment ceremony.
No one believes him but they would simply rather talk about anything else.
I have never felt so seen
Cameron has been freaking out about how his relationship will work outside of the experiment given how much time he spends uncontactable AND IDK BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING YOU SHOULD CONSIDER BEFORE SIGNING UP FOR THE SHOW.
This isn't a Lyndall-specific issue, buddy.
He tells the group that sometimes he can be away for six months to a year with no guarantee of phone reception and isn't willing to compromise his lifestyle even a little, leaving Lyndall hurt by the lack of consideration for her.
"Hahahah sike"
Everyone says if they want it to work, they can make it work.
Which is a lovely sentiment but Cam... does not... want it to work.
THEN HARRISON STARTS CHUCKLING AND TALKING ABOUT PRIORITIES AND I SWEAR TO GOD.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE SICK OF A PERSON'S FACE.
NEVER!!!
UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Layton and Melinda discuss their plans for after the experiment, which could see Layton move to Brisbane.
However, he still has concerns over their struggles to compromise or communicate effectively during disagreements, like over the partner swap.
Now watch as they struggle to compromise or communicate effectively in front of the whole group! Fun!
Layton mentions Melinda saying Harrison is her most hated person in the world and they laugh because well, it's dramatic, but true, but Layton is annoyed because IT WASN'T A JOKE TO HIM OKAY.
Harrison watches on smiling, again.
How many times can I make a joke about wanting to throw my screen across the room?! THIS IS ALL SO STALE NOW. THERE IS NOTHING NEW TO SAY. HE JUST SUCKS.
Everyone wonders if Layton misinterpreted the challenge, called 'partner swap', to be about actually swapping partners.
Where did it all go wrong?!
Ikr, why would be guy involved in your fundamentally flawed experiment have concerns about the ethics of a challenge? 🤔
Harrison asks whether Layton thinks Melinda has different "morals and values" because she decided to go along with the challenge, and then winks at her???
Vom.
Melinda and Layton each feel like the other doesn't support them and that's really all I can gather from their yelling and interrupting and all-round terrible communication style, until Melinda pulls "a Bronte" (lol) and leaves the room.
The experts criticise them as overly combative and stubborn, which is an observation all of us made like four weeks ago without any so-called psychological expertise.
And as things wrap up, I just know that the worst person we know is sitting across the table smirking.
Ugh. See you Sunday.
Chelsea McLaughlin is Mamamia's Senior Entertainment Writer. For more pop culture takes, recommendations and sarcasm, you can follow her on Instagram.
Catch up on our MAFS recaps here:
Feature image: Channel Nine.
Top Comments
Thank you Tania!!! The three nights off are very important for my physical and mental wellbeing after four nights of those smirks hahahaha, thank you for recognising that. 😂💖