Mamamia recaps Married at First Sight: THIS IS THE MOMENT WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR.

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The narrator suggests the end of the experiment has arrived, but no one knows how to drag out a TV show like Channel Nine, so I call bullsh*t.

But, alas, it's final dinner party time and our sweet angels Tahnee and Ollie are matching in baby pink.

Ollie says he had a great time during Homestay Week, checking out the sights of Bondi (which I presume just means he went to the beach) and learning very little about the geography of the Greater Sydney Region.

I have lived here for five years so who am I to judge

As always, the other couples are less... good.

Melinda and Layton are putting on a united front despite earlier unravelling over a cupboard door.

Evelyn is entirely unhappy about having to appear on camera next to her fake husband wearing a cream turtleneck. While Rupert is thrilled about appearing on camera next his fake wife in an "unhealthy pee" coloured dress.

Oh.

Bronte and Harrison are still here. Separately.

Harrison starts talking as if MAFS is The Lion King.

Supposedly, Kirra and Bronte are hyenas and he is a lion who does not need to "square up" with them.

Someone should let him know how Scar dies.

AND IT MOVES US ALLLLLL

Lastly, Alyssa isn't happy about the lack of clarity about the future she's received from Duncan, who has been uh, nothing but clear with her.

The experts are excited to see how the matches they worked so hard on have handled the final week. 

Lol jk they are bringing back the Honesty Box tonight because they love drama and mess.

Fun!

Alyssa and Duncan arrive first and you'd be forgiven for thinking they regret signing up for this show!

Alyssa tells Evelyn that she was going to tell Duncan she was falling for him during Homestays but then "he pretty much ripped our entire relationship apart".

GOOD GOD.

THAT'S A LOT.

Duncan is like 'pretty sure I just raised some reasonable concerns but that's fine'.

This is what you see if you look up 'defeated' in the dictionary

After Evelyn tells the women about 'letting Rupert hit' (lawd) and wishing he was less quick to label her outfits as "unhealthy piss colour", Harrison arrives.

And he's walking like a video game character.

IT'S GIVING NPC (and gym bro)

Harrison tells the group that in Perth, "Bronte just viciously attacked me".

"And Bronte's sister just started shouting 'you're a gaslighting, narcissistic d*ckhead'".

HELL YEAH SHE DID.

Evelyn's smile at this news is cracking me the f*** up.

I am cackling hahahahhahaha

Lyndall and Cam arrive looking like acquaintances who definitely do not kiss or cuddle.

And Bronte arrives after cackling in the car alone about not having anything left to say. So she's going to have a lot to say, I think.

She has not even begun pouring a drink when Harrison asks her for a chat.

Lyndall tells him to wait, which magically transforms him into Owen Wilson.

You tried

Bronte fills the women in on how Kirra "ate him for breakfast, lunch and dinner", while John Aiken watches on with a grin on his face.

I suspect he is a little excited about the drama, but mostly just stoked that someone else did his job for him.

Such a happy boy

As everyone sits down for dinner, Ollie says he'd love to ask Harrison and Bronte some things.

Ollie has really become involved in the drama lately and I am so proud of this character development.

Unfortunately, it also offers Harrison an opportunity to talk.

Everyone is thrilled.

Imagine people reacting to you like this, I would simply die

Bronte is about to launch into their pool of sh*t when some cunning producer in the other room is given the all-clear to send the experts in for a hello.

And to f*** sh*t up with the Honesty Boxes, in which the couples will answer questions about their partner in front of the whole group.

We start off easy with sweet angels Tahnee and Ollie, who continue to be sweet angels.

Everyone else adores them and thinks they're the cutest. Even Harrison says "aww", which makes me never want to aww again. But the power of Tahnee and Ollie falling in love is too great.

AWWWWW.

With two entire minutes dedicated to a healthy, loving, successful MAFS relationship, it is now time to turn to Alyssa and Duncan.

Duncan is asked how he feels towards Alyssa and he replies: "I love how you make me feel when it's good".

"When it's good, which is what, 56 per cent of the time?" she counters.

Firstly, that is a VERY specific number. 

Secondly, OOF.

Mr MAFS Unicorn is about to gallop (do unicorns gallop?) out the door :(

"What do you think I need to improve on to make this better?" Duncan asks, which is a lovely question given the fact that he's... not the problem.

She tells him to put himself in her shoes more often, and even the experts recognise that it's funny how emotionally unintelligent she thinks the experiment's most emotionally intelligent dude is.

Then she says the conversation made her feel like she'll never be enough for him. When he was the one asking questions on what he needs to change for her.

The official Channel Nine extended synopsis, which — ooooh insider secrets! — gives me an idea of what happens in each episode, states of the next part: "Evelyn and Rupert's responses are awkward".

It's truly a 10/10 wrap up. I can only dream of being so succinct and funny.

Evelyn asks Rupert how attracted he thinks she is to him, and it's clear this is very much his underlying insecurity. As he (awkwardly) answers, she interjects.

"Rupert, I've had sex with you... obviously I'm going to have sex with you if I'm attracted to you."

In a piece to camera, Rupert says that doesn't necessarily mean she thinks he's hot.

"I could just be a piece of meat to her."

It's definitely possible 

Lyndall's first question to Cam is whether he thinks she could fit into his life in the NT and he's like 'yeah maybe parts', which is just a coward's way of saying no.

He once again says he doesn't think he's the right person for her because he's fundamentally opposed to touching another human being.

They argue about whether they kissed during Homestays and let us just take a moment for Ollie's reaction:

My thoughts exactly

Cam says he loves Lyndall as a person but "I'm just not going down that path of falling in love".

Which like, WE KNOW THAT.

But maybe don't drop the bomb callously in conversation with someone else.

Lyndall ends up hysterical in the other room, being consoled by all the other women while Cam just keeps saying "I am who I am" in front of all the dudes.

"Who's too cowardly to straight up break up with her"

OKAY WAIT.

WE'RE GOING TO NEED ANOTHER MOMENT FOR OLLIE.

"Can we just say it as it is? Is this the girl for you?" he asks.

A direct question!!! Thanks legend!!!!!!!

Cam straight up says no, which begs the question WHY HAVE YOU NOT LEFT ALREADY, as Evelyn decides the barge back into the room.

"Cam, you are such an a*sehole," she says, as Layton's infamous :O face makes a triumphant return.

IMMACULATE

Cam deals with the criticism really well, by telling her not to trip on the way out.

He then claims LYNDALL is not ready to be in a relationship with HIM.

WHY. ARE. THESE. MEN. LIKE. THIS?

If you can believe it, we still have two couples' questions to go.

Layton asks Melinda if she's falling in love with him and she says she's "already there".

Everyone "awws" that, but Layton questions how she can love him when they can't talk about anything — even, it seems, that she might love him!!!!!! — without it becoming a disagreement.

She concludes that she's much more into him than he's into her and she'd be right. 

He's not in love yet, but can see himself falling in the future.

Truly rooting for you on this one, buddy!

OKAY.

Steady yourself.

Because it's time for the toxic showdown to end all toxic showdowns.

Harrison is asked his favourite and least favourite things about Bronte.

His favourite is that she's spontaneous, sometimes. His least favourite thing is all of the other things, but especially that she talks sh*t about him to other people.

He says she could've been a better partner by not allowing Kirra to tear his a*se down during their Homestay.

"It would've hurt my feelings but I don't have any"

Bronte says he makes her feel like she's crazy. He says she makes him feel like he's crazy. Because he may as well round out this entire narrative arch with some more gaslighting.

"The gaslighting and the narcissism about his behaviour has been called out many times," the experts conclude.

CRUCIALLY NOT BY THEM THOUGH.

"I think Harrison is by far the most predictable person we've ever had on this experiment," Alessandra says.

And I'm still mad at their lack of... work. But that is a fantastic roast.

It's 33 episodes too late, but Bronte is finally FULLY DONE.

He tries to talk over her but the table is like 'SHUT THE F*** UP BRO'.

"I'm done with you," Bronte says, as she leaves the room.

"Harrison, we're done. We're over. And I honestly never want to see you again."

YAAAAAAAAAAS.

SAY IT LOUDER.

FOR ABSOLUTELY ALL OF AUSTRALIA.

See you — but not Harrison!!!!!!!!! — on Sunday.

Chelsea McLaughlin is Mamamia's Senior Entertainment Writer. For more pop culture takes, recommendations and sarcasm, you can follow her on Instagram.

Catch up on our MAFS recaps here: 

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• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: SIR, YOU CANNOT JUST PRETEND YOU DIDN'T HAVE SEX.
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• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: This is what GASLIGHTING looks like.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: "I am not a f***ing disposable sex toy."
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• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: Well, that was a clusterf***.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: John Aiken breaks his own rules. Twice.
  
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• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: Melinda is SO DONE with Bronte and Harrison.
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• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: THIS IS THE MOST INFURIATING PERSON TO EVER GRACE OUR TVS.
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  Feature image: Channel Nine.