Mamamia recaps Married at First Sight: This is what GASLIGHTING looks like.

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It's move in day and Mel is warning us that this step turns up the heat, as the couples see how their partners act in their most vulnerable states. I assume she means they will have to learn how to handle each other leaving towels on the ground and/or dishes in the sink. Because dinner parties be damned, those are the truest tests of a relationship.

While everyone else 'awwwws' over their wedding photos, Jesse moves alone into an apartment which he thinks is Claire's "vibe". 

"The decor would give Claire a lot to talk about, that's for sure" he says, as he too continues to talk A LOT about the decor.

*general mocking*

Claire arrives and offers him a fresh slate; a chance for them to build on their friendship and make the most of this experience. He agrees, even though he is still fundamentally opposed to Claire speaking, because you need to stick with this a little longer to be worthy of a HelloFresh discount code.

Speaking of future influencers, Bronte and Harrison are the last couple to arrive at the apartments. 

Harrison has come armed with dessert, which he definitely assumed would get him off the hook for the display of Gaslighting 101 he put on at the dinner party last night.

He calls it a cake but it's clearly not a cake, which is another flag against his name. This man hadn't drunk rosé until a few days ago, and now he's mislabelling baked goods:

It's giving panna cotta, which is NOT A CAKE

Bronte doesn't want the not-cake and instead proposes a more traditional way forward: a chat.

"Last night ended badly, again. I cried, again. And you didn't come and see if I was okay, again," she says.

HE LITERALLY HUFFS.

Then, like clockwork, he turns it back on her by, uh, complaining that she's turned it back on him.

It's like he's reading from a manipulation handbook.

IT'S BACK!

Great news! 

The experts have spent approximately 40 seconds brainstorming fun, toxic tasks for our couples to play, intending to bring them closer together and/or destroy them.

TIME TO WEED OUT OTHERS I CAN ADD TO THE FLAG POLE.

We're off to a banger start, with Tahnee and Ollie made to rank the brides and grooms by how hot they are.

John Aiken says it's about learning what people find attractive in a partner which is obviously a cover for the fact that it brings DRAMA and SCANDAL and makes GREAT TELEVISION.

Before placing Ollie, Tahnee ranks Josh as the most attractive, Ollie calls him John, and I FEEL LIKE THIS IS BEING TREATED AS A JOKE AND I SIMPLY WILL NOT ALLOW ANYONE TO TAKE THE PISS OUT OF PURE, INNOCENT DISNEY DADDY (except myself because I actually really need this job, okay).

They both ultimately place each other in top place and win the game, because as much as John Aiken claims it is about brutal honestly, it is really about how successfully they can lie/pick their battles.

NOT TODAY, JOHN.

It's time to catch up with my future best friend Caitlin and Shannon, who is telling Mel that he's learned from the experts that he can be honest without being a d*ck.

Which means he is about to be a d*ck.

Ah yes. He's ranking the women, thinking out loud about how much 'pulling them' would impress his mates. He says women that look like Melinda, Claire and Bronte usually get an 'off vibe' from him, and one day I aspire to have this level of confidence. Women get a bad vibe from you and you don't automatically think "I SHOULD CHANGE"? Men are wild.

He places Caitlin... second? First equal? Idk, for a very simple ranking system Shannon really has placed these photos in an annoyingly complicated order and I-

OH NO HE JUST MOVED HER FURTHER DOWN.

He says she has the "potential to level up" and "their natural beauty shines more than yours" and HOLY F***ING SH*T HE'S DIGGING A DEEPER HOLE THAN STANLEY YELNATS IN THE FANTASTIC 2003 FILM APTLY TITLED HOLES.

"I've really taken her advice on board"

Elsewhere, Alyssa and Duncan have been given the 'confession letter task', which should be renamed the 'give us some dirt that will cause issues in your fake marriage because we are concerned it is going too well and is therefore making for boring TV task'.

It just flows better.

Alyssa is nervous because she has some dirt that will change Duncan's perception of her.

It's - GASP! - that she was once the other woman.

"That's extremely poor behaviour," he says, delivering the most universally true quote of the season so far.

Alyssa feels like she is being judged for her confession and that is because... she is.

The next morning, Alyssa explains that she believed a man when he told her his marriage was circumstantial rather than based on love. 

"Everyone makes mistakes," Duncan says, and for a split second I fully expect him to launch into a Hannah Montana song.

Long story short, he says this news does not change his feelings and he appreciates her honesty. 

Look at that shining display of open communication! Someone has got to force that scene into the eyeballs of Harrison and Bronte!

Sandy and Dan are also writing confession letters and this time, no one has ruined a fake OR real marriage.

Instead, Sandy shares the racism and microaggressions she faced when at school as a first generation child of Indian descent.

"There is always a small fear of judgement, whether it is to do with how I look or who I am," she tells him. "A part of me will think back to that time and put up barriers, especially when I don't feel accepted."

Not to heap too much praise upon the most unapologetically toxic show on television (come on, we can admit it) but WE NEED MORE OF THIS ON TV.

We need to see and hear the lived experiences of all Australians, in their own words and on their own terms. This is an incredibly important conversation, especially when we think back to the repetitive comments from Dan's wedding guests about how the traditional Indian decorations, and Sandy's traditional wedding outfit, were "unexpected".

Dan asks what he can do to support her with this and thanks her for sharing. They hug it out AND OH I KINDA LOVE THEM. 

Sometimes this show can be entertaining WITHOUT being toxic! Sometimes!!!!

With that wholesome goodness out of the way, it's time to return to Bronte and Harrison. For more photo ranking and gaslighting.

Bronte ranks Duncan as the hottest with Harrison second.

I should absolutely roast Bronte in the same way I roasted Shannon for this move but I SHAN'T. Harrison has an ego the size of Jupiter. He'll be fine.

CALL ME A HYPOCRITE I DON'T EVEN CARE.

Bronte says he doesn't come out on top because their love languages are completely different. Hers is words of affirmation and his is... cupcakes. Weird how that didn't come up for me the last time I did the quiz.

She wants a verbal apology from him - for all of the things - at this point.

He says Bronte's attitude is "very disrespectful" to him and his feelings which is HILARIOUS because 1. it's not and 2. can AI-generated red flags have feelings?

"I AM FEELING PERSONALLY ATTACKED"

Then he says Bronte being hurt by his actions is very unattractive and

WHAT

THE

F***

IS

WRONG

WITH

HIM?

He feels like Bronte abandoned him. Then he admits he doesn't know where they can go from here and how about the bin?

He asserts that there is no issue with the way they he communicates and honestly I am moments from throwing my screen out the window because HOW MUCH LONGER MUST WE SUFFER THROUGH THIS MAN.

"You're crazy for that"

It's time to catch up with Claire, Jesse and their confession letters.

Jesse tells her his ex-girlfriend kept him a secret for the entirety of their two-year relationship and that's left him with a lot of traumas that manifest in his... ick list, I guess.

Claire, our emotionally mature queen, responds in the best possible way: by seeing and hearing him. She tells him how much she appreciates when he opens up and he reckons he's been overly critical of her as a self-preservation tactic.

YA DON'T SAY?

They hug it out and... Am I a sucker? Was that bullsh*t? Do we believe him? Let me know because I may be blinded by my weird, long-standing attraction to beanies. I'm so embarrassed.

HELP I AM CONFUSED ABOUT HOW MUCH I LIKE THIS

Less confusing is the latest development in Caitlin and Shannon's relationship.

The producers clearly work to a 'two men must be villains at all times' timeline, because just as Jesse gets his redemption arc, Shannon gets an ominous late-night phone call from his ex.

WHO HE IS STILL IN LOVE WITH.

He thought MAFS could end their on-and-off-again cycle (and the experts knew about this!) and DID ANYONE EVER STOP AND CONSIDER THAT MAYBE THAT'S UNFAIR ON CAITLIN.

Caitlin is the girl you run into crying over a boy in a club bathroom and so you drunkenly yell about how trash he is and how she deserves better, a universal female experience <3

She says she's "not surprised" through tears.

WTF!!!!!! 

I am turning up tomorrow ready for battle.

See you there.

Chelsea McLaughlin is Mamamia's Senior Entertainment Writer. For more pop culture takes, recommendations and sarcasm, you can follow her on Instagram.

Catch up on our MAFS recaps here: 

• Mamamia recaps Married at First Sight: When you 'cheat' in the very first episode.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: The groom who hates when women... speak.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: A brother tries to sabotage his sister's wedding.
  
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: CLAIRE IS A NATIONAL HERO.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: SIR, YOU CANNOT JUST PRETEND YOU DIDN'T HAVE SEX.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: Two red flags walk into a dinner party.

Feature Image: Channel Nine.

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