Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: SANDY DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER.

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John Aiken tells us Family and Friends Week is meant to help the couples reflect on their journey so far, leaving out the annual goal for an overprotective parent to go in and f*** sh*t up for a ratings boost.

Tahnee and Ollie are out for lunch with their loved ones, and it goes as disgustingly cute as expected. 

These two are single-handedly upholding the tiny final shred of legitimacy this 'experiment' has (lol jk the toothbrush incident quite literally flushed that down the toilet years ago).

Lyndall and Cameron are preparing for a visit from their parents, which includes the instigator of #HugGate: Lyndall's mum.

But before that, Cam's mum must let us all know she hates their apartment.

Lyndall asks them all how they're finding Sydney, and Cam's mum shoots back "depressing".

SCREAMING.

THE SAME

Cam says they're having a great week, especially after the "circus" of last week and its lack of hugs.

Lyndall's mum then apologises for causing the whole thing, but then Cam's mum says you "can't take words back".

OMG.

A mum fight. 

I just know the producers are fist pumping.

After lunch, Cam's mum pulls them aside to talk about him being "locked up" in a "horrible" Sydney one-bedder and just wait till she finds out how much it's worth!

She reckons Lyndall asks for hugs because she's insecure or wanting attention.

I am gonna need Alessandra to come swooping in to explain intimacy and affection to her but also HER SON WILLINGLY SIGNED UP FOR THIS SHOW THAT IS ALL ABOUT ATTENTION.

HE HAS SO FAR GAINED ABOUT 15,000 INSTAGRAM FOLLOWERS.

JUST SO YA KNOW!

*gives hug attention*

The guests leave and Cam TELLS LYNDALL ABOUT THIS.

"Mum did say that the affection and the wanting the cuddles and wanting the kisses and holding the hands, could be - and there's no nice way to say this-" YES EXACTLY SO WHY ARE YOU STILL TALKING. "-could be insecurity."

He says this argument is "water under the bridge" so they should drop it, which DOESN'T MAKE SENSE SINCE HE BROUGHT IT UP.

They say they each seem to believe whatever their mums' say, to which Lyndall responds "yeah because my mum's a good person".

Cam storms out and SEE, JOHN AIKEN!!!! SEE!!!! 

Family and Friends Week is CLEARLY ABOUT FAMILY MEMBERS CAUSING DRAMA FOR OUR ENTERTAINMENT.

To balance it out, Melinda and Layton are continuing not to fight. Good for them.

Next up is Bronte and Harrison.

Usually, I'd groan. But this means the return of Bronte's sister Kirra, who we met at their wedding and who sniffed out Harrison's bullsh*t immediately.

THE QUEEN IS BACK

Kirra says she was skeptical they'd still be together by this point. Bronte says "nah, it's been good". Has it, Bronte? HAS IT REALLY?

Then she recounts the time Harrison took a woman's number on a night out as if this story does not completely negate what she just said.

Kirra is less forgiving than Bronte was about this, perhaps because she doesn't think being hot is an excuse for bad behaviour but perhaps also because she is not a few more reality TV episodes away from a full-time career selling things on Instagram.

Harrison, unsurprisingly, does not enjoy someone actually seeing him for who he is.

We stan

Sandy wakes up alone because Dan is at the gym.

That feels like I am being snarky, however it is legitimately where he is (but also I am being snarky).

Sandy visits Claire for advice on their relationship.

She feels like she'll never live up to Dan's expectations because she does not want to spend 40 hours a week in a sweaty room with men in stringer singlets.

"I probably deserve better, but I don't know because I've never been in this situation. Sometimes, the things he says and the way I get treated, I'm like 'is this how relationships are? Is this normal?'" she says.

NO. IT'S NOT. AND NEITHER IS SPENDING SIX HOURS IN THE GYM EVERY DAY.

Claire has great advice, as per. 

Look! I know! She kissed Adam! But she also knows her way around a good pep talk, ya know!?

Speaking of Claire: she is still deeply committed to mending her fake marriage to Jesse, so she's planned a week of dates.

First up is a game of squash. Because he likes squash. 

Forgiveness of Claire TBC, but the date seems worth it. For the ~vibes~ but also the short shorts.

There's a lot going on here

Things are also going well for many of the other couples.

Lyndall and Cameron have come back together after insulting each other's mums.

They have decided to not insult each other's mums anymore, and also to hug sometimes.

Melinda and Layton take part in another food delivery ad and Tahnee and Ollie are fostering Janelle and Adam's 13 orphaned fish children.

"In a home full of love, and no cheating"

Oh.

Evelyn and Rupert are doing the ranking task.

Rupert ranks Evelyn first, obviously, and Evelyn ranks him third. And he doesn't seem to... mind.

Unfortunately, I don't have time to roast her for failing the easiest game in the experiment (your fake husband or wife first! Always! No questions asked!) because it's time to check in with their extremely toxic neighbours!

Tayla is still mad about Hugo placing her second to last in his ranking.

They talk it out while she lies in bed with an eye mask on.

This is somehow giving us nothing and everything at the same time

That night, Lyndall and Cam are cuddling with Cam's fish slippers.

Someone needs to inform Tahnee and Ollie about those, because WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU, CAM????

WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!!

CAM IS A SADIST, CONFIRMED

Sandy is still alone. Dan is still at the gym. And Sandy is beginning to think Dan doesn't want to spend time with her. 

I can see where she got that idea, but Dan, who returns after also going to a day spa without her (JAIL), doesn't.

He once again suggests Sandy spends too much time on the couch while he is out running, hiking, spending time in the ocean and being "beast mode".

I'VE NEVER HAD A GREATER ICK IN MY LIFE.

They have the same argument once again, and it is exhausting for all of us.

"I spend so much time with you when I am making you feel bad about yourself?!"

After their successful short shorts date, Claire is showing Jesse a wall of guitars as the next step in her 'I'm sorry for cheating on you, please like me again' mission.

It's nice for Jesse to show off his love of music but also for Claire because Jesse is good with his hands.

CLAIRE. YOU AREN'T THERE YET.

COMPOSE YOURSELF.

Claire objectively sucks at guitar but Jesse doesn't immediately want to shush her. 

It is an incredible character development and Claire is kind of killing this comeback!

SUCH A HAPPY BOY

OH MY GOD.

For a split second I think something is wrong with Ollie and Tahnee but no, Ollie is just hungover AF.

He went out with ~the boyz~ and he and Rupert got a little too wild. 

Speaking of Rupert! Silly boy butt-dialled Evelyn last night while everyone was drunk and talking sh*t!

The fear in his eyes!!!!!

Is this the most perfect catalyst for drama ever? Sweet, naïve newbie gets drunk and butt dials his fake wife and gets everyone else in trouble. 

Thank you for your service, buddy!

Evelyn recounts hearing Hugo and Dan talking sh*t about their wives.

"I kind of had a feeling from the ceremony that Dan was a bit of an arsehole," she says in an especially iconic line.

She plans to tell the (fake) wives and THIS IS GONNA BE GOOD.

First: Claire is visiting Jesse to compliment his guitar skills. Again.

She has one more surprise for him. She brings out a bag and I can't be the only one that worried it was a crystal? Thankfully, no. It's a pack of guitar picks AND OH WAIT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

SHE GOT HIM A CRYSTAL TOO.

His new fancy rock apparently encourages you to "let go of past experiences that are holding you back, overcome your fears and step into your power".

It's mostly just pretty though and he, in a beautiful twist, loves it.

Sob. I love them and I'm so mad at myself for it 😂

BACK TO THE IMPENDING DRAMA.

Evelyn meets Sandy in the hallway to spill the beans. 

It's a weird choice! We know there's terrible soundproofing out there! Could Sandy not come over to her apartment? Wait, Dan's probably at the gym! Sandy's couch is free!

GASP.

Dan told Sandy he was with his daughter on the night he was talking sh*t with ~the boyz~.

"He was insinuating that he was too good for this experiment and too good for you," Evelyn says. "Once I asked Rupert what was going on he told me [Dan] was showing all the boys photos of his ex-girlfriends, boasting about how hot his ex-girlfriends were."

OHHHH DAN YOU DIRTY, DIRTY DOG.

This is AFTER he slept with Sandy, by the way! Trash behaviour!

The fact that I've used that gif three different times for three different men at this point?! This show, you guys. I can't (but also I can. Honestly surprising it hasn't come up more).

Evelyn leaves and Sandy breaks down.

She says she's done protecting who Dan "really is", just in time for tomorrow's dinner party.

SEE YOU THERE. BYO PITCHFORK.

Chelsea McLaughlin is Mamamia's Senior Entertainment Writer. For more pop culture takes, recommendations and sarcasm, you can follow her on Instagram.

Catch up on our MAFS recaps here: 

• Mamamia recaps Married at First Sight: When you 'cheat' in the very first episode.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: The groom who hates when women... speak.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: A brother tries to sabotage his sister's wedding.
  
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: CLAIRE IS A NATIONAL HERO.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: SIR, YOU CANNOT JUST PRETEND YOU DIDN'T HAVE SEX.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: Two red flags walk into a dinner party.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: This is what GASLIGHTING looks like.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: "I am not a f***ing disposable sex toy."
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: Two grooms make John Aiken VERY MAD.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: WHO TOLD JOSH THIS WOULD BE FUN?
  
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: Shannon just became public enemy #1.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: Well, that was a clusterf***.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: John Aiken breaks his own rules. Twice.
  
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: A cheating scandal completely unravels.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: ADAM BETTER RUN.
• Mamamia recaps Married at First Sight: Adam digs himself the deepest hole OF ALL TIME.
  
• Mamamia recaps Married at First Sight: We're back to holding people against their will. 
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: JUST DATE YOUR FRIEND THEN, DAN.

Feature Image: Channel Nine.