Mamamia recaps Married at First Sight: We're back to holding people against their will.

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The third commitment ceremony is here, and the show is attempting to get us excited about the two new couples facing the experts for the first time. But we don't care. 

We only care about Adam getting roasted.

The narrator calls Rupert "arguably the experiment's most nervous groom" and I'd like to know who is arguing against that. He is, shockingly, nervous about the day's plan.

Finally, we get to dirty dog Adam, who reckons he was treated unfairly at the dinner party. Why won't they all just let him dodge accountability in the way he'd like? 

His cheating that he does not think is cheating has stirred up tension between Alyssa and Duncan and has Melinda offering up MAFS format changes for free. 

Claire, who has taken accountability for kissing Adam multiple times, is hoping that the letter she wrote Jesse is enough for him to stay for another week. He is not sure it is.

John Aiken is particularly pumped to unpack all the toxicity at the dinner party, and it's nice to see someone living their dream even if it is at the expense of 20 future Hello Fresh ambassadors and our evenings across a two-month period.

Just three pals super excited to unpack the mess they created 

HERE WE GOOOOOO.

Janelle and Adam are up first and Janelle says she is most upset by his behaviour after the cheating, with the lying and the lack of accountability.

Adam stutters his way through excuses such as "I was drunk" and "there was a vibe" which kind of just PROVES HER ENTIRE POINT.

Lyndall jumps in to call bullsh*t because Lyndall knows all the gossip, all the time.

Chaotic Lyndall is back, and I am thrilled

She says Adam was flirting with other people as well throughout the night, which he says is cause he's "a flirty guy".

Sandy explains she feels differently about Adam and Claire based on their actions before and after the kiss, to which Alyssa jumps in to say "THEY WERE BOTH WRONG".

It's interesting that Alyssa is soooo black and white about this whole thing and it definitely has to do with her 'other woman' confession from the other week, doesn't it?

Adam starts ranting about how 'this is not who he is' and honestly, at this point, I want them to fly Janelle's very protective, anti-cheating brothers over so they can say "WELL ACTUALLY YES IT IS".

John tells him to shut up and that he's doomed to repeat these mistakes for all eternity unless he can acknowledge that he's been a dirtbag.

So yeah, he's doomed to repeat these mistakes for all eternity

Janelle has chosen to leave, because of course she has. 

Adam also opts to leave and then... does leave. Very quickly. Out the door. Alone.

Alyssa and Duncan go next, and Duncan explains that they were great until Alyssa took this cheating scandal REALLY PERSONALLY.

But they still really like each other so, whatever. They stay.

So do Leyton and Melinda, who have hit three whole days without an argument, and Tahnee and Ollie, who are already mapping out their lives post-MAFS and remain annoyingly cute.

We get to Harrison, who is on his own. No, he has not gaslit Bronte into believing the commitment ceremony is another day. She has endo and is at home in crippling pain.

Poor Bronte. And poor Harrison, because he is also crying about it.

"I'm going to try and get through this as best I can," he says.

Thoughts and prayers

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

The music is so silly and the facial expressions around the room are so telling.

This is one of those times when you feel inclined to say "omg I cannot believe it" but THAT'S NOT ACTUALLY TRUE. I BELIEVE IT SO, SO DEEPLY. 

I bet he's already told Bronte that her emotional pain is causing him mental pain and that is obviously much worse.

Same

The experts, however, are SO CONFUSED.

"Okay, well, I'm not getting a sense that you're being real with us," John says.

Even though it is literally his job to probe Harrison further, he... just doesn't. John Aiken does not have the mental space to take on that level of idiocy right now. I can blame him for so much, but not for this. I too would want to end a conversation with Harrison as soon as possible.

Harrison and Bronte both choose to stay. Sigh.

Alyssa's reaction sums this up better than I ever could

Rupert and Evelyn are up next. Incredibly, Rupert is nervous. 

"Um, I think, um, I don't know," he says. I agree.

Evelyn can string together full sentences, which is handy, and she doesn't believe she is getting as much from Rupert as she herself is giving.

Basically, he's deeply afraid of rejection and needs her to tell him she likes him so that he can open up.

Evelyn tells him she does find him attractive and they both stay so they can continue exploring this, hopefully with actual words, mashed together, to make proper conversation.

Proud of you!

Sandy and Dan take to the couch, and argue because Dan spends 37 hours at the gym each day and Sandy does not think it's conducive to building a relationship.

John asks Dan if he is sexually attracted to Sandy, and he takes another 37 hours to answer.

"Right now, no," he finally says.

But they both stay, because they want to build on that. Plus, moving out would really eat into Dan's gym schedule, ya know?

Dan after two months of avoiding his fake wife

Tayla and Hugo also aren't going great.

Hugo keeps complimenting Tayla. He is being kind and thoughtful. She doesn't like it.

She is also not physically attracted to him - well, that's what I gather from the loud sigh, fidgeting and head shaking - because he is the type of man she would normally go for.

THE CAMERA KEEPS FLASHING TO OTHER MEN IN THE ROOM WHILE SHE TALKS ABOUT HER USUAL TYPES AND I SWEAR TO GOD

IF WE GET ANOTHER CHEATING SCANDAL

I WILL 

Lowkey really enjoy it because who am I kidding at this point?

Mel is like, 'Excuse me, you don't just automatically get what you want from this experiment' and TRUST ME MEL, WE KNOW.

They both stay, because Tayla has begrudgingly learned he's annoying but also funny.

"It's irritating but I am going to try and move past this"

Uh oh.

Lyndall and Cameron had a fight.

Over... a hug. Or should I say, over no hug.

Lyndall's mum told him to hug her while she was upset on the phone and he didn't, because he felt like being pressured into a hug was weird.

The experts tell him that sometimes, we just need to hug our fake wives when they're sad.

They both stay, so they can work on the hugging.

"If I have to"

IT'S FINALLY TIME.

FOR JESSE AND CLAIRE.

AND I AM SO NERVOUS.

Things begin with Claire explaining herself for the 210th time. 

Melinda and Alyssa jump in to call bullsh*t, which leads Sandy to ask what more they want her to do.

"She's being accountable by apologising and saying 'I've done the wrong thing' and coming forward. That is holding yourself accountable. I don't know what else she can do right now."

I mean... fair. 

Jesse says the experience reaffirmed horrible things he thought about his worthiness for love

Everyone cries.

A sea of blonde tears

He is willing to give Claire forgiveness, understanding and friendship, but he has chosen to leave, for himself.

However, Claire chooses to stay and John Aiken's lenience from last week is GONE.

He tells Jesse he's the nicest human on earth, besides that ick list thing, who carried himself extremely well in a sh*tty situation.

BUT SIKE.

HE'S GOT TO STAY AGAINST HIS WILL.

Between that and the advice about hugging wives even when you don't want to, MAFS really said "consent? Not this week."

See ya tomorrow.

Chelsea McLaughlin is Mamamia's Senior Entertainment Writer. For more pop culture takes, recommendations and sarcasm, you can follow her on Instagram.

Catch up on our MAFS recaps here: 

• Mamamia recaps Married at First Sight: When you 'cheat' in the very first episode.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: The groom who hates when women... speak.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: A brother tries to sabotage his sister's wedding.
  
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: CLAIRE IS A NATIONAL HERO.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: SIR, YOU CANNOT JUST PRETEND YOU DIDN'T HAVE SEX.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: Two red flags walk into a dinner party.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: This is what GASLIGHTING looks like.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: "I am not a f***ing disposable sex toy."
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: Two grooms make John Aiken VERY MAD.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: WHO TOLD JOSH THIS WOULD BE FUN?
  
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: Shannon just became public enemy #1.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: Well, that was a clusterf***.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: John Aiken breaks his own rules. Twice.
  
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: A cheating scandal completely unravels.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: ADAM BETTER RUN.
• Mamamia recaps Married at First Sight: Adam digs himself the deepest hole OF ALL TIME.
  

Feature Image: Channel Nine.