The Twins recap Married at First Sight: We have feedback about the cheating scandal.

March 1, 2022

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We open tonight's episode on Cody, who apparently does not have time to hug his wife, but absolutely has time to shave his chest in such a way to make it look like he has abs.

So.

'Sorry I didn't hear your sobs because I was urgently shaving my upper body xxx'

Meanwhile, every morning Kate gets a rude shock waking up to Matt. We learn that he is one of those people who snores even when they’re slightly awake, which we feel like we could have... guessed.

Clare and Jessie Stephens

March 1, 2022

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But things are probably most terrible in Dion and Carolina’s apartment.

"Everyone goes through what we’re going through right now," Dion says, as though it’s normal for your wife to tell you during a photo ranking task that yes you might be ugly, but in terms of personality, that is also very bad.

No one asked about personality, Carolina. That wasn’t part of the game.

Dion says that Carolina can be very "blunt and honest" and he likes that about her, but Sir, she's just incredibly cruel to you? Repeatedly? On the television?

'I also hate when you give me compliments.'

For the rest of the couples, it’s ‘meet the parents’ week and just a quick question: Must the Zoom call take place in a cinema? And not, say, on a personal laptop?

Nevertheless, Al and Sam are on their way to the movies, and Al thinks they’re seeing Paw Patrol but Sam has some very bad news.

They enter the cinema, and Al asks for a slurpee but also a choc top and then gets ID’ed because this film is at least rated M.

It takes Al 20 to 25 minutes to understand that the characters in the movie are a) speaking back to him, b) his mum and sister, and c) also Sam’s parents.

Haha how cool.

Sam tries to assure everyone on the call that Al is hitting his milestones, such as doing his washing and unstacking the dishwasher, but her parents are unimpressed.

"Al," Sam’s dad says slowly, squatting to get down on his level. "When you’re not working, what do you like to do?"

Al’s brain says "don’t say day care don’t say day care," so he takes a deep breath and announces he likes to play video games.

Sam’s parents begin to rock back and forth, her mother clutching the cross around her neck and saying prayers in Latin.

'The boy... is a child.'

He assures the people from the movie that he also likes the beach. You know, building sandcastles. Digging holes. That kind of thing.

Sam’s dad tries to ask another question: "Where do you see yourself in five years?"

Again, Al is confused. He says something about the construction industry, but really he’s thinking, "I’ll be about seven years old at that stage, so I guess I’ll be in primary school? With a back pack and a pencil case? Maybe even a lunch order idk."

'It's all very exciting.'

Things end with Sam being very embarrassed that she had to introduce her parents to her new boyfriend, a literal baby.

Over in Dion’s apartment, he’s decided to write Carolina a handwritten letter. And look. Is that a good use of anyone’s time? Given the woman can’t stop declaring new things she hates about you, both physically and spiritually?

Carolina, on the other hand, decides to go to the GYM. Because she loves the G.Y.M. And Dion hasn’t been to the GYM not even ONCE. He just WALKS. In the MORNINGS. And last time we checked that is ALSO a valid form of EXERCISE but Carolina will have NONE OF IT.

Waiting for her at the GYM is Daniel. Even though he has feelings for Carolina, he says it feels impossible because he’s a divorced man, and Carolina is married, and Sir please literally neither of those things are true.

'You're also not divorced. In that you were never married.'

Despite the… barriers, Daniel tells the camera that he would like a turn with this new stranger, about whom he knows absolutely nothing.

They talk about their "intense" workout which looked pretty… mild to us, and then discuss getting dinner and drinks and Daniel why are you still here don’t you have to return to work or something.

But while Carolina’s been at the GYM, Dion has continued doing sad things, like arranging for the flowers from their wedding day to be delivered to their apartment. At the crux of their relationship is the fact that both Dion and Carolina really care about Carolina, and surely that's enough? To forge a connection? To last a lifetime?

It goes as follows.

Dion: Hopefully she likes it.

Narrator: Carolina did not like it.

'Get away.'

Dion reads his letter out loud and Carolina’s all like "OK nice life story but why are you telling me this and what do your divorced parents have to do with the gym xxx."

When he finishes, Carolina groans.

They don’t have anything in common, she reassures the camera. Whereas Daniel, she doesn't know if she's mentioned before, likes the gym.

It’s time for Matt and Kate to do the photo ranking task, and Kate feels quite anxious about having to look at the photo of Matt. Because of the vomit reaction she’s been experiencing as of late.

She wonders if perhaps she might be able to add some random men into the mix, so as to rank Matt appropriately. Say, John Aiken for example? And that random man on the street, over there? He seems quite lovely.

She ends up putting Matt third and despite the fact he placed Kate firmly first, he is THRILLED.

What? No.

He’s all like "so you think I’m hot??" and she’s all like "oh wait not at all no" and it becomes clear that Kate has f**ked up.

She begins to panic. You see, she thought the gagging was sending a clear message, but evidently not.

"I’m incredibly attracted to you…" he says in an unsolicited outburst. "I want to hold your hand, I want to put my arms around your waist..." and we watch Kate slowly die inside.

Kate attempts to clarify that she absolutely does not feel any sexual desire towards him yet and Matt is every heterosexual man being let down by a woman.

'Pls leave me alone.'

She really doesn't tho.

"SHE SAYS I DON’T HAVE THE SEXUAL INTIMACY YET", he exclaims to the camera, and we would say the first half of that sentence is the… important part. To focus on.

She shuffles him down to sixth place to try to offer some clarity, but Matt’s seen what he needs to see. And Kate is a woman who loves him. Unconditionally. He feels closer to Kate, his soul mate.

Meanwhile, Sam is worried ever since she took Al to an M rated movie and the characters started talking to him.

They go on a picnic and she explains to him the status of their relationship, and how she thinks she might "need more".

'But why Mum???'

"I need to know what’s more," Al says, confusion in his eyes and we want to CRY. “I need instructions” and sweet darling boy it’s not your fault you’re only an infant and should never have been thrust into this adult experiment.

Ella and Mitch have decided to seek counsel from friends after their relationship imploded this week.

Mitch says he’s confused because it is "fluent" when they’re alone and oh okay that’s not the word you mean unless you’ve been exclusively speaking Spanish in the home. In which case, good on you both for making this experience worthwhile.

Ella visits Domenica's apartment to tell her gently to please not start s**t at the dinner party. Because Mitch will leave. Because it's just dawned on him that this show is about entertainment. Which is honestly shocking, considering *gestures broadly at the television*.

It exclusively ruins people?

In Carolina and Dion's apartment, it seems Carolina has had enough of pretending to 'try' at her marriage which is terrifying given she has done nothing but insult her husband since their honeymoon.

She yells that they've been fundamentally mismatched. Breakfast is her favourite meal of the day, and Dion NEVER eats breakfast, not even Sunday brunch.

For reasons we don't quite follow, Carolina then tells Dion he's "delusional," "HAS NOTHING," and is "EMPTY".

"It’s like she’s upset she got stuck with me..." Dion says and oh no she definitely is. She's confirmed that. Multiple times.

With Dion out of the apartment, Carolina starts texting Daniel and eugh pls it's not an affair if you've broken up with your respective partners. This is no fun at all.

UNTIL TOMORROW NIGHT.

For more MAFS commentary and lols, you can follow Clare and Jessie Stephens on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.

You can also listen to their comedy podcast, CANCELLED.

Read our previous recaps here:

The Twins recap Married at First Sight episode 18: OK. So at this point people are just walking out.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight episode 17: Why are the experts... gaslighting the women?

The Twins recap Married at First Sight episode 16: A perfectly engineered cheating scandal.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight episode 15: "You couldn't script this sh*t."

The Twins recap Married at First Sight episode 14: We have feelings about the bride who ran three hours late.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight episode 13: A burning question for Brent and Tamara.