Mamamia recaps Married at First Sight: Adam digs himself the deepest hole OF ALL TIME.

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Not even Australia's most discussed toxic dating show can stop building management from an obnoxiously loud fire alarm test that goes on just a little toooo long.

To any of my fellow apartment dwellers: solidarity. That sound was triggering.

Everyone is getting ready for the dinner party, preparing for the drama and celebrating major relationship milestones: Alyssa and Duncan are having their first fight and Melinda and Leyton are having their first non-fight.

Basically, Duncan wants to greet dirty, dirty cheater Adam when he sees him, and Alyssa simply wants to launch him off into the sun.

Harrison also wants to send Adam to space.

For gaslighting.

AND GOD I HOPE THE SPACE SHIP HAS TWO SEATS.

"How DARE he be better at GASLIGHTING than ME"

Ah, the poor newbies are in for a shock.

Rupert is talking about poo. So he has either completely gotten over his awkwardness, or he's more awkward than ever.

In another apartment, Tayla is applying another coat of mascara and initiating a peace pact with fake husband Hugo.

She says they need to have each other's backs, which is easy for her to say because SHE'S FORCING HIM TO SLEEP ON THE FLOOR REMEMBER. HIS BACK IS DEALING WITH A LOT ALREADY.

*cracks*

Claire is also dealing with a lot. Which she brought upon herself. By cheating.

She's written Jesse a letter to express her remorse.

Jesse, meanwhile, says this whole thing has brought back feelings about being cheated on in the past. He says it feels like "life laughing in my face like, 'this is what you get every time.'"

Adam has not written a letter. Instead, he wants to "tell his truth" about something between him and Janelle that will... justify cheating?

"It was three weeks ago, so like, get over it. Move on. Don't be bitter about it," he says, supremely bitter about being caught.

OOOOF. GOOD LUCK BRO.

BECAUSE JANELLE HAS NOT COME TO PLAY.

A moment for this look:

SLAY (HIM)

The experts are debriefing about whether the new matches will hold up and idk guys, this feels like a conversation you should have BEFORE MATCHING THEM.

"This is quite a drama-filled group," Mel says, in what may be her greatest observation of all time. "So for our new couples coming in, it could be really quite confronting for them tonight."

SHE'S RIGHT AND I AM PUMPED.

Tahnee and Ollie arrive first, giving wet willies and calling each other "dude" and "bro". I love them so much.

They, along with Melinda and Leyton, discuss Claire and Adam's kiss. The experts reckon this means they can safely assume Claire and Adam kissed.

I tend to agree.

Of course, the new couples also get acquainted.

"He drinks things other than beer and that is a real problem for me"

They fill Tayla in on the drama and she puts one foot in camp Claire, because at least she's owning her sh*t.

"We don't want to like, slam this girl when she comes in," she says.

"We will 100 per cent slam her," Alyssa replies.

OKAY.

Right on cue, Claire arrives. No one body slams her. In fact, no one... moves at all. 

In contrast, Jesse arrives to A LOT of hugs which is good because we know HE LOVES HUGS.

The final arrival is Adam, obviously, and there's no time to dwell because DINNER IS SERVED.

DINNER AND DRAAAAAMA.

They're barely in their seats when Janelle clinks her glass.

"I just firstly wanted to welcome the two new, beautiful couples," she says.

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Then she throws to Adam and Claire to explain themselves, in a truly boss move.

Adam apologises to Jesse for how he acted at the first commitment ceremony, where he made Jesse look and feel CRAZY.

Okay, a fine start.

But then.

"There is nobody at this table that has taken this harder than myself," he says.

"There's a lot of stuff that happened with me and Janelle at the start of our relationship that none of you now about."

MOOD

He says the first week of their relationship "wasn't a real relationship" AND YES WE KNOW THAT IN PRACTICE - I LITERALLY CALL YOU ALL FAKE HUSBAND AND WIVES AT ANY OPPORTUNITY.

BUT YOU ARE NOT MEANT TO THINK LIKE THAT.

So basically, he doesn't think this very clear cheating scandal involved any cheating.

You know things are BAD bad when Harrison, who's calling him out on showing no empathy for this wife, is talking sense. I know he's especially tuned in to dirtbag behaviour but still.

Janelle does not see things the same way. As she cries, Adam LAUGHS.

"We cuddled on the couch, we watched movies, we drank red wine, we called our friends," she says. "I kissed him goodbye before he left and he had sex with me that night."

OH

MY

GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alyssa and Melinda ask him straight up whether that is the truth. He tries to evade but Alyssa is an EXPERT LEVEL INTERROGATOR HONESTLY I'M A LITTLE SCARED OF HER.

"100 per cent yes," he finally admits.

IT'S ALWAYS THE ONES WITH "RESPECT" LITERALLY TATTOOED ON THEIR CHESTS

Harrison jumps in again and look, I have to put our feelings about Mr AI-generated red flag aside for two seconds and present this neutrally. Because damn.

He recounts Claire's genuine remorse and apology for her actions and asks where his is.

Adam insists he's owned his actions and apologised but like... where? When? Is the apology - TO JANELLE - in the room right now because I'M STRUGGLING TO SEE IT.

Alyssa then addresses Claire lying to Janelle's face and Claire delivers an apology so good that even Jesse gives her props.

No excuses. No downplaying. No deflection. Just straight accountability. 

Can someone force this into the eyeballs of Harrison and Adam? For referential purposes.

Tell me why I'm still rooting for them 🫣

Leyton kindly reminds everyone there are new couples they should probably get to know.

Oh. Yeah. I guess. If we must.

Evelyn and Rupert are going well, because Rupert can now hold a conversation. And Tayla is tolerating "little puppy dog" Hugo.

The experts collective reaction to her calling him a puppy is a season highlight for me.

For once, they are NOT WRONG

Hugo wants "big dog energy" and CAN WE ONLY CALL PEOPLE DOGS IN THE CONTEXT OF "DOG OF DOGS" ADAM.

NO SEXY DOG TALK EVER AGAIN. I FORBID IT.

Tayla says she is grateful for Hugo because he doesn't talk as much as she thought.

Yes. You know what that means:

I desperately need Jesse's reaction to her distaste of other voices

One voice Tayla does not mind is Cam's. 

Because Cam is a country boy who presumably only drinks beer. 

Oh goodie. I foresee this causing issues down the track.

Hugo, darl...

Harrison, who began a sentence yesterday with "I don't particularly like Jesse", is now telling Jesse how much he likes him.

He asks if Jesse and Claire can move on from this and honestly... makes fair points.

I HATE THIS CHARACTER ARC FROM HIM.

BUT DO GO ON.

Jesse knows he makes sense, objectively, but still has a gut feeling to be weary of Harrison. LOL. 

Adam asks Jesse for a chat approximately 47 times, and it gets so irritating that Jesse has no choice but to relent.

He says he knew Janelle would lie (WHEN DID SHE LIE?????????) and he knows she won't hear him out, so he doesn't really care about her anymore and like... ok bro 1. what does this have to do with Jesse? and 2. stop deflecting!

Then he starts ranting about Harrison getting involved.

This works for both Harrison talking sense about the situation and Adam being annoyed about Harrison talking sense about the situation

Melinda has thoughts about Harrison (and I f***ing love when Melinda has thoughts about Harrison).

"I'm a little shocked hearing a lot from you tonight, because what he's doing you were at one stage doing. On the couch, not that long ago. Right?" she says to his face.

ICONIC BEHAVIOUR.

The man practically dissociates.

Help

He... oh my f***ing god wut. He just acknowledges it and says he came here to better himself. 

I would almost believe him, but then he thanks her for acknowledging the change in a tone I can only describe as... slimey. And the sound effects suddenly get very stabby.

Melinda, and all of us, call bullsh*t.

No offense to Honda Civic drivers, it's simply the only car model I know by name

With Jesse and Adam talking in the other room, Claire spies an opportunity to deliver her letter.

She apologises, again, and thanks him for teaching her a lot about herself.

Then he starts crying because HE WISHES HIS EX GIRLFRIENDS APOLOGISED AND OH NOOOOO. 

JESSE.

STOP.

MY HEART CANNOT TAKE IT.

After a warm(ish), productive chat, Claire and Jesse sneak out of the party early - AND EVEN HUG - leaving the rest of the group to side-eye Harrison and figure out how much Tayla hates Hugo in peace.

Goodness. 

This next commitment ceremony is going to be a lot.

See you there.

Chelsea McLaughlin is Mamamia's Senior Entertainment Writer. For more pop culture takes, recommendations and sarcasm, you can follow her on Instagram.

Catch up on our MAFS recaps here: 

• Mamamia recaps Married at First Sight: When you 'cheat' in the very first episode.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: The groom who hates when women... speak.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: A brother tries to sabotage his sister's wedding.
  
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: CLAIRE IS A NATIONAL HERO.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: SIR, YOU CANNOT JUST PRETEND YOU DIDN'T HAVE SEX.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: Two red flags walk into a dinner party.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: This is what GASLIGHTING looks like.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: "I am not a f***ing disposable sex toy."
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: Two grooms make John Aiken VERY MAD.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: WHO TOLD JOSH THIS WOULD BE FUN?
  
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: Shannon just became public enemy #1.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: Well, that was a clusterf***.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: John Aiken breaks his own rules. Twice.
  
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: A cheating scandal completely unravels.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: ADAM BETTER RUN.
  

Feature Image: Channel Nine.