The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 19: The truth about Martha and Cyrell's fight.

February 26, 2019

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HUSH.

It’s the day after the two additional weddings precisely no one asked for but we’re here now and look… it’s fine.

Dan says Tamara is playing hard to get and sir, it’s been one night.

Meanwhile, Billy keeps showering his fake wife Susie with compliments and insisting, “I WANT TO MAKE YOU COFFEE, 10 COFFEES,” and sweetie no one needs 10 coffees. It’s not good for your… bowel.

Susie hates Billy’s coffee almost as much as she hates him, and shouts, “I HAVE TO TELL YOU THIS COFFEE IS COLD,” which is a rude thing to say but also who gives someone a cold coffee FFS.

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The Spill

In Sydney, seven other couples are waking up like idiots because they don't even know there are four intruders they're sharing the TV with now.

Oh. Goodness.

There's a brand new rumour. And it's designed specifically to break Cyrell.

Nic walks into his apartment and explains to Cyrell that people are accusing him of rubbing Jessika's leg (?) during the dinner party but he certainly did not.

If that were brought up in a regular relationship, there would probably be a shrug and then a grunt and then someone would ask if there's any snacks.

But this is not a regular relationship.

This is a fake televised relationship involving people who have anger problems.

Cyrell shouts that she's PUTTIN' ON HER SHOES and we are immediately concerned she is going to stab someone.

Nic and Cyrell go to Jess and Mick's apartment to confront Jess directly, who says that while yes Nic did touch her leg, it may have been accidental. And it wasn't sexual. She casually mentioned it to Martha at the dinner party.

But Cyrell is already... mad.

"YOU KNOW FOR A FACT THAT WHEN I'M ANGRY I JUST YELL," Cyrell tells Nic, who is begging her to calm down.

"GO GET THE BITCH NOW I'M SICK OF THAT SHIT."

All four of them then decide to go straight to Martha, who a lil' bit started the rumour.

But, no.

Everyone knows that the rules of fighting clearly state that you must allow someone to remove their face mask first because otherwise they look ridiculous and are unable to argue with dignity.

'The mask said to leave it on for half an hour and it's only been 26 minutes so I can't exactly take it off now.'

But Cyrell can't hear the rules over her own yelling.

"DON'T YELL AT ME MARTHA DON'T F*CKIN YELL AT ME," she... yells, and we'd like to acknowledge that in Cyrell's defence, she's wanted a fight ever since she was evicted from the Commitment Ceremony by Ines.

But Cyrell has overlooked the fact that Martha, aka Kim Kardashian, has had a really hard week what with the Khloe/Tristan/Jordyn drama, so she's a little on edge.

'I wonder how Kylie's dealing with all this...'

Cyrell tells Martha that she doesn't understand why she's always gossiping and sweetie, pls. That's why we're all here... including but also mostly you.

They start yelling at each other, with Cyrell saying "I GENUINELY DON'T LIKE YOU," and it's at this point that Martha decides it's probably appropriate to start taking off her face mask.

But next thing we know Cyrell has her fist around Martha's bath robe and no one touches Kim Kardashian's bath robe, Cyrell. Everyone knows that.

When a producer tries to separate the two women, Cyrell yells "I AIN'T SCARED OF YOU BROTHER" and dear God what have we created.

WE HAVE GONE FULL JERRY SPRINGER AND NO ONE SIGNED UP FOR THIS EXCEPT FOR MAYBE CYRELL.

On her way out she also throws a fruit bowl even though the fruit did nothing to her.

Pause.

This woman desperately needs therapy. But like... real therapy. That doesn't have John Aiken in the room.

Continue.

Nic is traumatised and keeps rocking back and forth while asking a producer, "I don't know what to do. What do I do?" and honestly Nic we have absolutely no idea.

Cyrell storms out and packs all her bags, and, yes, we think it's because she's embarrassed about the time she threw the fruit bowl.

The show tries to take us back to the random honeymoons but NO we need to catch up on YELLING CYRELL PLS.

Eugh, Dan keeps talking about wanting to get 'intimate' with Tamara which sounds... gross... and then uses the term 'sexual intercourse' which he needs to... not... do.

Oh.

It's Susie again and she's trying very hard to put her finger on exactly what it is about Billy she hates so intensely.

"I want to discuss your awkwardness and get to the bottom of it," she says before asking him why he's a "dweeb" all the time and suggesting he be "more normal".

Susie. You can't just... tell people to be normal.

She finishes by clarifying that Billy doesn't have big enough balls, and he tries to argue with her before giving up because he's... broken.

Back in Sydney, Cyrell has 1) decided to leave, 2) decided she'll stay, 3) slept in a separate room to Nic, and 4) declared that Martha's personality is "as fake as her tits and her nose".

Okay.

She's upset that Nic didn't have her back but... in Nic's defence he didn't really sign up to kill a person.

They've decided to bring in John Aiken for a therapy session but dear God these people need REAL therapy John not TV therapy.

John explains that perhaps Cyrell was feeling hurt about the rumour that Nic was cheating, and that's why she became aggressive and ultimately tried to start a physical fight with Kim Kardashian.

She agrees that this could have something to do with it, but when John suggests that maybe she apologise to Martha for the fruit bowl incident, the violence, etc, she goes into what can only be described as an 'anger trance'.

Cyrell doesn't want to apologise to Martha. She wants to hit Martha.

But John Aiken has had enough.

He tells Cyrell that she's allowed to disagree with people, but she's not allowed to throw fruit bowls. It's inappropriate and anti-social.

'We just don't have that kind of money.'

In Martha's apartment, she's busy bitching about Cyrell.

"She's not my people," she says. "It's like she's been raised in a zoo or something," and no we don't speak that way about our Cyrell.

Soon, there's ~~a knock~~ several impatient knocks on the door, and yes it's a passive aggressive woman ready to give a forced apology.

They stand uncomfortably close to where the fruit bowl incident occurred, and Cyrell says, "I'm sorry for breaking your bowl here..." gesturing to where the fruit bowl used to be.

But she's not finished.

"...And for grabbing you as well," she says and awww Cyrell that was a good apology sweetie.

Martha brings up that while, yes, the physical violence was an issue, Cyrell also said a number of hurtful things.

"I'll apologise to you for what I did but not what I said," Cyrell explains, "otherwise I'd be going against everything I believe in and I'd be lying to you, too."

Oh.

When John Aiken asked... we don't think that's what he... never mind.

'The grown ups are making me say sorry.'

Martha lets Cyrell out of her apartment, before yelling "SHE'S DISGUSTING".

"She's out of control, she can't control her emotions, she doesn't know how to articulate what she wants to say," she says, and um, she seems to be forgetting that Cyrell was the literary genius who told Sam he 'ain't no King Ding-a-Ling'.

"If it doesn't work out with them, she could have a really good career with Pedigree Pal as a model or something like that," Martha says and OH HELL NO.