'I got ghosted on Sunday. By Monday, the strange messages started.'

"If you’re seeing this ad, this is meant for you. I don't see it being over between you. I have a message for you about how to get him back."

That was the video message beaming out from *Sarah's phone when she opened Instagram on Monday morning. 

It was an ad for a psychic specialising in relationship issues — catered to women who wanted answers to fill the void left by men who performed that favourite magic trick of modern dating: ghosting. 

"For the past 12 hours, I'd sent a flurry of texts and messages to friends about the fact that the day before, a guy I'd been seeing for a few weeks had dropped off the face of the planet," Sarah explained. 

"So of course, the first thing waiting for me when I opened my phone the next morning was a message that seemed so specifically created for me that it took all of my willpower to resist clicking on it and finding out what this psychic had to say about my situation."

Image: Supplied.

But it didn't end there. 

Over the course of the following few days, Sarah received a barrage of Instagram ads, not just from 'love psychics', but from dating coaches, life coaches and — eye roll — 'break up coaches'. 

The break-up industrial complex has swept platforms like Instagram and TikTok in recent years, with a growing number of (increasingly unqualified) 'experts' adding their voices to the fray and advising the recently-heartbroken on everything from how to get their ex back, to how to 'win the break-up' and avoid ever being ghosted again. 

"It's so predatory," Sarah says, "what feels like an intimate experience that leaves you feeling very vulnerable and confused is somehow being weaponised and monetised by hacks on social media."

While platforms like Meta and TikTok are famously cagey about exactly how their algorithm tracks users and curates content for them, the speed with which Sarah's feed devolved into relationship-focused self-help was alarming, she says. 

Image: Supplied.

And she's not the only one. 

Married mother of three, Bridget, says that about a year ago, she and her husband went through a particularly challenging period in their relationship. 

"We were struggling with money, we'd drifted apart, and there were some addiction issues on his side of the fence that had reared their head," she explains.

"We'd started seeing a counsellor, and I'd been doing a lot of googling about ways to help us both through."

Suddenly, though, Facebook and Instagram started serving up a whole lot of 'divorce' content. 

"I had ads pop up for divorce lawyers and family mediation, as well as ads from parenting sites guiding me on how to help the kids through a separation," says Bridget.

"It was actually really heavy to have to process, not once had we even spoken about separating, but I had this sinking feeling that the algorithm knew something before I did — like, based on my internet history, there was only one way this could end."

Watch: Dating Horoscopes. Post continues after video.

Happily, Bridget and her husband were able to navigate the rough patch, and eventually, the ads for divorce lawyers faded away.

But it does raise the question: how much does the algorithm respond to our behaviour, and how much does it seek to influence it?

Sarah, who also suffers from relationship OCD that has in the past seen her ruminating and reassurance-seeking through psychics, considers it a particularly sinister move to target heartbroken people in the midst of breakups.

"Five years ago, I would have fallen for these ads hook, line and sinker," she laughs, "I would have booked a session with that psychic and hung on every word she told me about how to get the guy to get back in contact with me. You're so suggestible when you're going through something like that, and your sense of self has already taken such a hit. I can't help thinking that by letting people target ads in this way, Meta and other platforms are facilitating an unacceptable level of manipulation."

"Let us lick our wounds in peace, for gods' sake!"

*Names have been changed.

Feature Image: Canva.