Put down the giant inflatable flamingo pls.
We need to discuss something of national importance.
You see, a few weeks ago Sophie Monk gathered together some of the country’s most beautiful/most dense people in a villa for a show called Love Island.
Among these beautiful people is a man named Josh.
Josh is a sports administrator from Melbourne. He has all his own teeth. He doesn’t appear to have murdered anyone. And he is of average height.
He is a sweet angel sent from heaven to teach the other islanders important facts about space and wolves and what not.
He says things like this:
“Dogs came from wolves that humans created.”
“The earth was born from little rocks hitting each other.”
“The sun is so far away… but you can feel it.”
“If we didn’t have the moon, one half of the earth would be covered in sun and the other would be covered in darkness.”
“I don’t think the moon landing was real because there was no wind and the flag moved.”
Josh is what my mum would call a nice young man and he has this face:
But despite all this, no one seems to love Josh.
First Tayla left him for Grant.
Then Natasha used him so she could continue getting access to the free mango daiquiris and the giant inflatable flamingos.
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