When my doctor found out I was 23 and a virgin, she told me I deserved a prize. ‘Oh my goodness,’ she said, ‘I have girls coming in here as young as 10 who have had sex.’ (Sorry, WHAT?)
At 23, being a virgin was not something I was proud of. I had many, many high school crushes, but no sweethearts.
I refused to let my best friend drunkenly take my first kiss on the slippery dining hall dance floor at a college party, even though it probably would have made for a better story than being peer-pressured into a drunken hook-up at a pub three years later.
I ended up seeing that guy for two months after. I’m not sure why. It never felt right. We never had sex.
At 23, I figured I had waited SO long to lose my virginity that I might as well wait for the right person. You know, someone I loved. Someone that knew me well enough to know I’d be a nervous, inexperienced wreck who would re-live and overanalyse the whole ordeal for days/weeks/months afterwards. Someone that was warm and generous and kind. Someone that loved me too.
Besides listening to my girlfriends gush about their magical sex lives, I didn’t really know what I was missing out on. I had never flown solo, and never, ever – you know – finished. They didn’t understand how I did it – or more to the point, didn’t. One of my friends even bought me a vibrator because she felt SO sorry for my pitiful sex life.
Peggy Orenstein on hookup-culture, casual sex, and our girls. Post continues after audio.
But for me, it was normal. Sure, I had DREAMS of wild sex in unimaginable positions and places, being tied up, blindfolded, hair pulled. I had days that I could barely concentrate because I was so bloody toey, but I had waited so long already… what was another few weeks/months/years to my life?
Top Comments
Who is this writer, please? I'd read any book she writes. Does she have other posts? Is there any way she can be contacted to write more articles?? This was such a good read. Very relatable. I'm going through a similar situation. This makes me feel less alone.
I hope they are still together :)<3