'I'm tired of waiting for answers about Long COVID. So I've offered myself up for research.'

I am one of the forgotten people.

While the rest of the world takes off their masks and throws themselves into the minutiae of everyday life, I spend most of my day resting. Sleeping. And resting again.

If you ran into me in the street, you might think that I looked well. Not sick even. After all, I am dressed. I have showered. Done my hair. Maybe even put on some makeup.

But just as every good magician will tell you... it’s all smoke and mirrors. Mirrors and smoke. Inside, I feel broken as the ravages of COVID punish my body on a daily basis.

I am not alone. An estimated 10 per cent of the population is living with Long COVID. Some manage to struggle through the workday, collapsing with exhaustion behind closed doors. Others are bedbound, unable to function due to a raft of symptoms ranging from racing heart rate, joint pain, insomnia and severe fatigue to extreme allergic reactions, chest pains and brain fog.

Watch: A data from Australia's longest-running post-COVID clinic has revealed a high proportion of patients are women in their 40s and 50. Post continues after video.

Some are ‘long haulers’ (nothing to do with international holidays, but more to do with that crippling sensation of being cooped up in a plane for over 36 hours). They were the unfortunate ones who battled the virus over two years ago, before any antivirals, and are still battling its aftereffects.

Some are newly diagnosed, joining online support groups, looking for help to deal with the myriad of new symptoms that puzzle the medical fraternity. Many were fit. Healthy. Some even about to run marathons, before the thorny spike protein knocked on their door.

It's been over eight months since I first got COVID, and one of the hardest things I have found is dealing with the uncertainty about my recovery. I do not know when I will get better. I do not know if I will get better, or if I just have to accept that this is my life moving forward.

What I do know is that I have a mountain of vitamins piled high in my pantry cupboard, and a guided meditation playlist on a continuous loop on my phone. I have swilled copious green juices, taken a probiotic every day, practised cold-water therapy (it’s not fun, but I am slowly getting used to freezing cold water running over my body), journaled, tried to be grateful for small improvements and visualised my body being strong and healthy. I don’t know if anything helps, but given the lack of medical knowledge regarding a cure, they are the only arsenal I have in this fight.

The other devastating thing is the disconnection from everyday life. Not a lot happens when you are confined to bed for months on end. Like any illness or tragic life event, there is sympathy at the beginning. Think casseroles, flowers and get-well texts. But as the weeks turn into months, life continues at its hectic, rollercoaster pace. Imagine a super fast train hurtling past your window, without a designated stop at your house. That’s what it feels like to have life keep moving, while you can’t even seem to make it out of first gear.

Listen: We discuss what causes Long COVID on this episode of The Quicky. Post continues after podcast.

After much umming and ahhing, I took the plunge into untested waters the other day. Like many other long haulers, I went boldly into the unknown and decided that I couldn’t wait for the research to come to me. Instead, I will be the research. For this privilege, I have forked out over $800 AUD for a blood draw that will be shipped off to a state-of-the-art research lab in the United States. Researchers there have identified a panel of blood markers that are having an out of control, inflammatory party in the bodies of long haulers. Highly ironic, given that many of us don’t have the energy to function every day, let alone get our dancing shoes on. I am yet to hear anything back but I'm hopeful this is a positive step in the right direction, not just for me, but for all of us suffering. 

So if you are one of the lucky ones, the ones for whom catching COVID was just a blip in your work week, spare a thought to those of us still struggling daily with its aftermath. Reach out. Send a text. Ask when is a good time to visit-morning or afternoon? Suggest a quiet coffee shop to meet at, rather than your normal bustling hangout. Accept the fact that yesterday was a good day, but today is a writeoff. 

And never assume that because someone looks okay from the outside, that that’s how they are on the inside.

Feature Image: Supplied.