“That guy is in the news again today,” I told my husband.
“What did he do again?”
I told him and then we both sat back and thought about the insanity of embezzling close to a million dollars from your father-in-law’s company.
“How’d you meet him again?” my husband asked.
“Through a friend,” I said.
Side note... this is what it's like cooking when you're single vs cooking in a relationship. Post continues below.
That’s not true since I’d never consider my ex a “friend”, but when I first started seeing his bandmate appearing in the news for such a high-level crime, I couldn’t help telling my husband that I’d known him.
I just chose, purposefully, to leave out his connection to my ex. I don’t want to talk about my ex, and neither does my husband want to hear about him.
This would easily be deemed a “white lie,” which Bella DePaulo and Deborah Kashy have argued can be seen as “compassionate offerings” that serve to maintain a relationship.
Trust, honesty, and vulnerability are crucial to maintaining a healthy relationship, but there are some LITTLE lies that can be okay to tell.
1. Making them feel better over something insignificant.
I’m currently five months pregnant, and like many pregnant women, I’ve been a bit insecure about how my body has changed.
I asked my husband what he thought. “You’re still a very attractive woman,” he told me.
“But I don’t look like how I did before.”
“You’re mostly belly!” he said.
“Well, your boobs and your butt have gotten bigger.”
“I mean, just a little…” he backtracked.
If someone is preparing for a job interview and puts on a bad outfit, tell them. If they make a one-time mistake or it’s something that really wouldn’t hurt them if you fudged (like in the case above), go ahead and lie.
2. Not telling them every time someone flirted with you.
If something truly meant nothing, it’s not a big deal if you choose not to tell your partner. But you have to be clear with yourself whether something is or isn’t a big deal.
The cashier who hit on me that I rolled my eyes at? Don’t need to tell my partner about that one. But if it was an ex who ran into me at the shop? That would be something I should probably tell my partner.
If you would want to be told, then you should probably tell your partner.
I personally don’t need to know about all the women that may hit on my husband because he’s a good-looking guy and I know it happens, but if it was one of his exes trying to mack on him, I’d like to know.