Yes, you read that correctly.
Yes, really. Bum psychics are a thing.
Technically, they’re called “rumpologists” and Rumpology is “the art of reading the lines, crevices, dimples, and folds of the buttocks to divine the individual’s character and gain an understanding of what has occurred in the past and get a prediction of the future.”
Sounds legit, no?
We can only assume their corporate motto is “Look behind you!”
If you were a young rumpologist trying to, ah, crack into the butt-prediction industry, you’d go straight to Instagram, wouldn’t you? It’s a treasure trove of bum selfies.
That’s exactly what Sam Amos, Rumpologist Extraordinaire in the UK, did. And here’s what she had to say about Rihanna’s famous behind:
“Well, she’s quite a feisty lady, and I would say a perfectionist. I would say she’s quite happy as well.”
If RiRi’s bum cheeks could talk, they’d tell the world that she’s clucky for a baby boy… apparently.
“She’ll get broody soon because one of her friends is going to have a baby girl,” Amos predicts. “I would also say she’s going to do more charity work, which will change her life in some way.”
Amos says a person’s butt will tell you everything about that person.
“It tells me about the character of a person, the good points and the bad points. The left butt cheek apparently is linked to the right hemisphere of the brain, and the right butt cheek will tell you all about your left brain.
Can’t wait for her to read Kimmy K’s butt selfies.
X Factor winner Dami Im is a stunning flower child in Alannah Hill
Awesome fashion news: crazy-talented singer Dami Im, who took out the 2013 X Factor title, is the new face of label Alannah Hill.
And she looks absolutely heavenly. LOOK:
One Direction’s Liam has total meltdown
And now we have an answer – it’s Liam Payne.
Liam tweeted eleven times in 23 minutes, causing #lazyjournos to trend globally.
To track the meltdown as it happened, check out our gallery:
Margot Robbie gets another hot co-star
She got sexy (and very naked) with Leo di Caprio in Wolf of Wall Street and she’s about to get down and dirty with Will Smith in the film Focus.
23-year-old Margot Robbie, who played Donna Freeman in Neighbours from 2008 – 2011, has seriously hit the big time.
She’s about to be so famous, she could basically climb onto the Hollywood sign and yell “Margot Robbie’s here to stay, bitches” and it would be warranted.
Her next big flick is Z For Zacharia alongside Chris Pyne. And we cannot wait.
Michelle Obama hits the dance floor with Beyonce and Paul McCartney
First Lady of the Red Jumpsuit, Michelle Obama, hosted a star-studded birthday bash at the White House – and we’re not going to lie, we really, really wish we were invited.
Just picture the dance-floor: Sir Paul McCartney boogied with Hillary Clinton, Jennifer Hudson and Mary J Blige broke it down, and Beyonce and John Legend sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to the FLOTUS over cake. Michael Jordan was there, so was Stevie Wonder.
President Obama made all his famous guests cry with a beautiful speech about the first moment he laid eyes on Michelle.
At 2am, Michelle and Barrack Obama were still rocking it on the dance-floor with Beyonce and her back-up dancers. Do you need any further proof that the Obamas are the coolest leaders of the democratic world ever?
Gwen Stefani tells everyone what sex her bubba will be
Gwen Stefani, 44, is expecting her third child with husband of 12 years, Gavin Rossdale, 48. She confirmed the news to her million-plus followers on both Instagram and twitter, when she posted a picture of herself wearing a gold crown captioned with “I was ready to hand over the crown. But I guess I am still queen of the house. #itsaboy #surroundedbyboys (sic).
Stefani and husband Gavin Rossdale already have two children Kingston, 7, and Zuma, 5 as well as Daisy Lowe, 24, the daughter of Rossdale from a previous relationship.
Stefani has previously said how much she loves being a mother.”It’s super fun being a mum but it’s not what you think it’s going to be. And it’s really gradual,” Stefani said.”At first, your life is totally the same. You have this cute little thing that you get to drive around everywhere and it’s amazing. As they grow it really does start to change your life. Like, Oh, my God, they have school, they have to get through first grade, they have to learn to read”
Love Actually actress has her first baby… at 49
Laura Linney, 49, gave birth to a baby boy called Bennett Armistead Schauer on January 9. It’s the first child from her marriage to Marc Schauer.
It sounds like a fertility miracle, and it might just be. As Mia Freedman writes, falling pregnant in your forties in exceedingly rare. Except in Hollywood.
Top Comments
Can we please stop giving Rihanna the attention she so desperately seeks. Her flipping' arse! Since when is it so OK for so called popstars to be porn stars all in one. Seriously she is quite nauseating, so full of herself that she thinks everyone is wanting to see her self taken butt shots with greasy g-strings. This is not an interesting newsworthy item... I cannot believe how low standards are in the music and media world. Seems to me that everything has to do with porn or sex or butts and that is ok???
I'm gonna start calling her Re-banger. I am over re-banger, mehranda and beyawnce news on here.
*falls to knees and praises afw* I so totally agree!
First up - I'm an adult One Direction fan. I love their music, I think it's fun and fantastic.
Secondly - I think that what Liam did was wrong. He tweeted his admiration of the family from Duck Dynasty - members of which have compared homosexuality to bestiality. To quote the patriach of Duck Dynasty "Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men. Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers -- they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right."
In no universe should it even be remotely acceptable to celebrate or even condone a family such as this, and such ignorant, judgemental, and homophobic comments. Liam is an influential person (over 15m followers on Twitter!), and his approval of a family who is associated with comments like this sets a terrible example for his fans.
I feel no empathy for him, and hope that he apologises and learns from his mistakes.
I think he feels that there is some value in this show...not that I've seen it. I've heard of it. He has also 'tweeted' that just because he likes the show does not mean he condones all the sentiments or opinions on the show. That...I have empathy with...seems to me that you cannot have any kind of opinion in this world anymore anyway....unless it's the opinion of the minute!
Amanda! I too am an adult One Direction fan. Love them so much I went to their concert twice. So you come to me whenever you want to talk about them.
But yes, I also completely agree with your analysis of what he did on Twitter.
But he didn't simply tweet that he liked the show - he tweeted that he had mad love for the patriarch and mad respect for his family values. That leaves little room for misinterpretation - it certainly sounds like he is actively supporting, condoning and approving of those horrible, offensive values!
Even giving Liam the benefit of the doubt and assuming meant something completely different, to word that message in such a way to such a controversial and offensive individual on social media is really friggen stupid. He's an adult, he knows social media can be seen by everyone, and he gets paid millions of dollars to be incredibly famous - which has many benefits, but comes with a lack of privacy. No sympathy at all.