'A (funny) letter to my body before kids.'

Hello from the future, I hope this letter finds you basking in the glory of your carefree, pre-kid days.

First of all, thank you. You were an absolute champ able to handle living room dance-offs, endless amounts of coffee and the occasional wild night out without a hitch.

Not to mention that metabolism — wow, like a well-oiled machine!

And I know you’re enjoying your morning yoga sessions and spontaneous road trips right now, but there are a few things you should know.

You’re going to be a mum (surprise!), and it’s going to be the wildest, most wonderful ride of your life.

But before we dive headfirst into this adventure called parenthood, I thought it might be nice to reminisce about our golden years together — and give you a little heads-up about what’s to come.

Your body is someone’s home, embrace it.

You might think you’re prepared for all the changes pregnancy will bring, but trust me, it’s full of surprises.

While you may have anticipated the maternity pants, you’ll soon discover that your body will transform in ways you can’t even imagine.

Picture this: Swollen feet, cravings that include pickles and ice cream at 3am, and sobbing at everything from news bulletins to chocolate commercials.

Your once-toned abs will give way to a baby bump, and people will analyse it constantly! "You’re carrying high", "It’s definitely a girl" — everyone will have an opinion!

And sure, bending over will involve a bit more strategic planning, but remember, for nine months, your body is a cosy, all-inclusive home for a tiny little tenant.

Think of it like an Airbnb, but with fewer stairs and a few more stretch marks.

But even if you sometimes feel like a five-star hotel under renovation, know that your little tenant thinks it’s the most amazing place ever.

And the body, which you once worried about keeping in shape, will become a source of pride for the life it brought into the world. Totally worth it.

It’s all about that pelvic floor.

There will be a few memorable moments along the way as we learn how to navigate our changing body.

Like that time we thought it would be a great idea to try a new yoga class, only to discover that downward dog and our hamstrings weren’t exactly best friends.

Or those instances when a sneeze or laugh led to a bit of unexpected leakage. (Don’t worry, it's way more common than you think and nothing to be embarrassed about!)

You see, pregnancy and childbirth can do a number on your pelvic floor. In fact, they are the leading causes of bladder leakage, with two in three Australian women over 25 experiencing it.

It's just one of those things that come with the territory.

But thankfully, we have a secret weapon when it comes to bladder leakage: Poise Regular Liners. Four times drier than leading period liners, their ABSORBLOC core works wonders, absorbing and locking away unwelcome wetness. These little lifesavers will become a staple in your handbag and bathroom cupboard, designed to give you the protection and support you need postpartum.

So, when you find yourself laughing a bit too hard at those baby giggles or sneezing during a midnight feeding, you can rest easy knowing you’re covered.

You can, and will, survive on little (read: no) sleep.

There will be moments of sheer exhaustion, countless sleepless nights and times when it feels like your body has reached its limit.

Yet, every tired eye and weary sigh is worth it when you gaze into those tiny eyes that look at you like you’re their whole world.

Your social life will shift, too. Spontaneous nights out might give way to meticulously planned playdates and the occasional "Can we reschedule? The baby’s having a meltdown" text.

But amidst the chaos, you’ll learn to cherish the quiet moments — like when the baby finally falls asleep and you get a few minutes to sip a hot cup of tea.

And while those midnight pizza runs we used to do will be a thing of the past, we’ll find new joys in baby antics and sleepy snuggles.

It takes a village (and don’t worry, you’ll find yours).

Motherhood will open up a whole new community you never knew existed.

You’ll find an unspoken bond with other mums who offer a sympathetic smile as you walk past them in the street with a screaming baby in tow.

Or when you have to leave your Mums and Bubs Pilates class midway through because of an unexpected nappy disaster on the mat.

This supportive network will be your go-to for celebrating the highs and navigating the lows.

So, when you need help or advice, lean on this village — trust me, it’s far more comforting and reliable than Dr. Google!

Mastering the art of multitasking.

Remember the days when we thought effective multitasking was juggling watching Love Island, scrolling Instagram and eating at the same time?

We’d stumble into the kitchen in our pyjamas, iPad in one hand, phone in the other and devour an entire tub of chocolate ice cream like it was a perfectly acceptable dinner.

Those were the days.

Well, the good news is, you’ll continue to be a multitasking pro, but this time it'll be juggling baby bottles, nappy bags and grocery lists. 

And though it might feel overwhelming at times, you’ll find a rhythm. You’ll discover a strength and resilience you never knew you had.

Spoiler alert: Life will change, it’s going to be in the most rewarding way. 

You’ll grow to love the chaos and the mess, because the laughter and the memories will make spaghetti on the white carpet seem like a total non-event.

So here’s to you, pre-mum me. Thanks for laying such a strong foundation. Thank you for every ache and every stretch mark, for every laugh and every tear. 

We’ve come a long way, and I have no doubt we’re rocking this whole motherhood thing, one day at a time.

Hang in there,

Me After Kids. 

Head to the Poise website to request your free sample kit. Find Poise products at your local Coles, Woolworths, Chemist Warehouse and other retailers.

Feature Image: Supplied.