This week a survey revealed that 82 per cent of men who cheat do so in the first years after their children are born. That statistic drove one exhausted and vulnerable mum to write this letter….
Dear Husband,
I love you more now than ever before, but I don't tell you as often. I can feel us drifting apart and I don't know how to fix it. I don't even know if it can be fixed right now. I sometimes feel like our child takes all my love and energy and I don't have much left for you.
I wish that instead of drifting away from me, you hovered more. I wish that you would touch me in passing, just to let me know you're there.
I felt safe to shower our baby with my attention - I feel (or at least, felt) safe and secure in our love?
And I still have faith in you that we will get through this.
I know you'll be waiting for me when I come out of the baby fog. I know that the man I fell in love with, the one who used to stroke my hair for hours and drive 40 minutes to pick up my favourite Pad Thai dish, will be there waiting for me at the end of this all-consuming mummy tunnel I am in.
Our baby has been difficult. She's not a good feeder and she's not a good sleeper. I'm shocked by the demands of motherhood and your long works hours don't help. I know we both thought it would be different and better. I know we thought becoming parents would bring us together but it hasn't.
I want you to stop sleeping on the lounge. You started doing it because our little girl was making a fuss one night, then two, then every night, but I feel lonely and I know you do to. Stay with me, with us. We are nothing without you. We need you around.