By GRACE JENNINGS-EDQUIST
In 2010, Brooke Hemphill was a relationships and sex columnist who was sick of dating “douchebag” men.
“I had my finger on the dating pulse, but as it often the case with people who in this line of work, my own love life was something of a disaster,” 35-year-old Brooke told Mamamia.
“I had a long run of dating what you might call douchebags.”
When she unexpectedly had a one-night stand with a woman, the Sydney-based writer and producer embarked on a year of sexual experimentation — and now, she’s written a book based on her experiences dating women that she hopes will “open a conversation about sexuality”.
Mamamia sat down with Brooke today to ask what she’s learned from her experiences.
Q: What’s the book about?
A: “Basically the book charts a year in my life where I exclusively dated women, but it goes beyond that and I go back and look at my previous relationships…
This wasn’t a social experiment. It was a series of events that happened to lead to what I would call my ‘lesbian year’.
Q: What’s good about dating girls?
A: “When I found myself in a relationship with a woman I learned a lot about myself and what I was looking for in a relationship. A key relationship in the book is with my ex, Claire, and my relationship with her was much better than with any man I’d ever dated.
I‘d had my experiences with guys who just disappeared off the face of the earth, whereas Claire was very communicative…
(But) that could be just a case-by-case basis, I couldn’t generalise for the entire gender.”
Q: What’s not so good?
A: “I openly admit that I’m not very good about talking about my emotions and feeling. so there’s a lot of that when you’re dating a woman…
It kind of forced me to talk when I didn’t necessarily want to. I’m very introverted, my reaction is to kind of just back away, and it pushed me to talk.”
Q: Did you experience discrimination or prejudice when dating women?
A: “I would say less so than the discrimination and prejudice that I’m experiencing right now in terms of the criticism (I’ve received from the LGBT community) over the title of the book.
I understand that the title of the book has the potential to upset people who identify as lesbian. It’s been accused of being homophobic, people have accused me of monetising their sexuality in order to make financial gain. Which is odd, because I’ve never met them before…
This is a story about my life and my experience is just as valid as anyone else’s.”
Why did you “go back” to men?
A: “The relationship with Claire ended and I did date a couple of other women, and there was a series of events that happened.
I was dating a girl for a while… and she actually went off to go and be with a man and that was a bit shocking for me. I was like, ‘if you’re not sure, im not really sure. What’s going on?’
So I sort of tested the water with dating men and found myself dating back in the (heterosexual) dating world.
What’s it like dating men now? Is it kind of annoying that they don’t understand women the same way?
“My current partner is quite sensitive and emotional and I guess in that way, his friends have given him a bit of a hard time about that his whole life.
It‘s a case-by-case basis. But if you do have the luxury of having a bit of a fluid sexuality, you can pick the person you want to be with based on who you want to be with.”
Lesbian for a Year was published by Affirm Press and released on September 1.
Top Comments
I've heard about this book, but I don't think I'll be bothered to read it. Some of my friends & associates have nicknamed '50 Shades of Shyte'. This might crack a few people up... & I should cash in & write about it, as I think there are better books to be written. I recently came out as straight after identifying as a lesbian for a great many years. It is a complex story that transcends credentials that earn you the right to use titles etc. I am not/was not bisexual. I had quasi sexual/romantic relationships with women while repressing my interest in or desire for men. I was really straight. I feel incredibly liberated now that I have embraced my true sexuality or sexual identity.
In 2010, Brooke Hemphill was a relationships and sex columnist who really wanted to sell a book, so she created a catchy title guaranteed to suck in both men and women and the rest is history.
As the mother of a gay son, I can't think of a more offensive title to a book really. Perhaps she just doesn't like to think of herself as bi-sexual, but she certainly isn't a lesbian and shouldn't have used that terminology.