Listen to this story being read by Leigh Campbell, here.
Hello, my name is Leigh Campbell and I just turned 40.
I’m not quite sure how that happened because I swear three months ago I was dancing on tables and dating unsavoury men, and yet here we are. I suddenly have corns and need to see a physio regularly, so I’m definitely not 21 anymore.
Watch: First Date with Leigh Campbell. Post continues after video.
With four decades on planet earth, I have accumulated a little bit of wisdom, and if you’ll indulge me, I’d like to share some of that with you now.
1. You won't find the lid to that tupperware. It is gone. Do not put it back in the tupperware graveyard drawer - get rid of it.
2. You will not fully understand life until you have witnessed death up close. My mother and my siblings nursed my terminally father at home until the day he died. It fundamentally changed the way I view and understand life. Experiencing it up close is gruesome and undignified and beautiful, and it forever changes the human perspective.
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3. Buy the expensive razor. Yes, they are a rip off, but just buy it. That five pack of cheap travel razors will not do you any favours. And even though it was expensive, you have to change it really often, like every second shave. I’m sorry, I don't make the rules.
4. Sunscreen is, without a doubt, the most effective and affordable anti-aging skin care you can buy.
5. Stop apologising for how you are naturally. I am type A. I am hyper organised. I am not ‘going with the flow’. I am not ‘chilled’. I have been told to chill out all my life, yet it made me feel bad for how I was wired. I wish I could tell my 16-year-old self that it’s okay to be the anti-chill girl. More than that, at 40, I really love how I am wired. When I ‘go with’ how I am naturally I am at my happiest and most at peace.
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6. Washing your hair correctly will change your life. Lather shampoo between your hands first, then distribute it evenly instead of plopping it on the scalp. Massage it in and rinse, then repeat. Conditioner comes after, but only apply it from the ears down.
7. Coriander is the devil's work. Most herbs are, actually. What even is marjoram? Besides basil, all herbs can get in the (compost) bin.
8.. If you still can't understand what someone said after asking them to repeat themselves twice, just walk away. Stop when you get to Victoria.
9. People will come and go in your life. Be okay with that. It can hurt when people fade out, but equally, over the years new friends will burrow in and enrich your life in ways you didn't know there was room for.
10. You look silly in flares. Stop trying.
11. True love isn't meant to be tumultuous. True love is steady. Steadfast. Asure of foot. It can still be exciting, but mostly is a bedrock on which your life will grow.
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12. Masturbation is almost as good as a sleeping tablet.
13. To be best friends with your parents is not the norm. It is a rare blessing that many, many others have not experienced. Cherish that if you’re one of the lucky few.
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14. Change totally sucks. It feels yucky and uncertain. While you won't ever grow to love it, change is actually one of the very few certainties in life.
15. Gym memberships don't actually work unless you use them.
16. When you’re really, truly happy you’ll want less ‘stuff’. It’s because your brain won't crave the serotonin hit from buying things because it’s already content. But in times you need it, retail therapy is heaps better than most other options (make sure you have a low credit card limit).
17. Green really is your colour.
18. When you’re feeling shitty, Instagram will absolutely, one thousand percent make you feel worse. Put the phone down and put on a happy playlist or go for a walk.
19. Sunscreen. Head to toe. Everyday. Yes, even when it is cloudy.
20. That intoxicating magical feeling of Christmas will fade as you leave childhood. Lots of life's magic will. You can't bottle it, but you can almost relive it through kids, and nieces and nephews and cousins. So stay close to little ones when there’s excitement to be had, for that unbridled joy is life's elixir.
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21. Not everyone will like you. Some people will actively dislike you. Yes, it will hurt. No, you shouldn't set out to change their mind - by doing so you rob everyone who loves you of what you mean to them.
22. Your mother will put the fear of god in you when it comes to food and expiry dates, but despite that, a loaf of bread is probably still fine if it has only been in the fridge for three days.
23. A spiral perm at the age of eight probably isn't the best idea.
24. You still don't really understand the difference between all the fancy deli meats, but you play along. You can't really produce ‘charcuterie’ either, so just order the cheese plate.
25. Life hurts. Happiness is not the default setting.
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26. You won't ever fully love your body, but you will grow to like it a lot and appreciate all the cool things it can do that a lot of others can't.
27. Lots of things sound better in theory than they are in practice. Like board games. And camping.
28. Being served a bread roll at a fancy restaurant isn't ‘naughty’ or ‘temptation’. Continue to remind yourself to not get your blessings mixed up for anything less.
29. Being born in Australia is a privilege from which all your hard work will build on. That foundation should never be taken for granted.
Listen to YouBeauty, Mamamia's podcast for your face. Hosted by Leigh Campbell and Kelly McCarren. Post continues after audio.
30. Mud cake is waaaaay overrated.
31. No one else has any idea what they're doing either. They're just making it up as they go along.
32. There will be all types of days. Slow, boring, monotonous. Run of the mill ones, mostly. And sprinkled amongst, the most heart swelling, fun, belly laugh inducing days that will stitch the months and years together.
33. Being a cat person is cool. You’re a minority, but stand proud.
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34. SUNSCREEN.
35. Don’t fill up your diary with social engagements when you’re in a good mood. You’ll inevitably regret it and want to stay on the couch with a box of pad Thai instead.
36. Hangovers are rarely worth it these days. Yes, they get waaaay worse the older you get, just when you can finally afford the good wine. It’s a cruel reality of life.
37. You have one life in which to achieve and experience everything you want to. Act accordingly.
38. It’s okay if you’re too tired to wash your makeup off some nights.
39. There is no number 40, because in the wise words of Natasha Bedingfield The Hills' theme song, ‘the rest is still unwritten.’
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