'My lover is dying from cancer but I’m still leaving my husband for him.'

As told to Ann DeGrey

I was crazy about my husband when I first met him because he was my boss and I was in awe of him - big mistake! My advice to anyone is never to marry somebody because you admire them in the workplace and lust after them. I guess I was attracted to the power he had over me. But six years later, I've learned he's a nasty piece of work who treats me like one of his employees and I know I deserve better. 

But life is still good because I have my lover Jeremy, who is the love of my life. We are planning to leave our partners and be together. Although, there’s something terrible that clouds our relationship - Jeremy has stage four cancer and doesn’t have long to live. But that doesn’t stop us from being lovers and appreciating every moment we have together.

We first met years ago when he was dating my cousin and then we reconnected by chance about six months ago when I took my kids to a school holiday art class and Jeremy was there, with his daughter. We started seeing more of each other, with the kids, then fell in love…. and then fell into bed. 

He was honest with me right away and told me he’s living with cancer but, for now, he felt quite healthy. And his diagnosis hasn’t dulled our sex life - our chemistry is just so powerful.

Jeremy’s cancer was too far gone; there was nothing that could be done as he is now inoperable. When he told his wife, she was quite indifferent and told him he’d better make sure his will is in order.

Jeremy deserves so much better.

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We see each other as much as we can. In the early days, we’d have sex in my car in random car parks at night – a local bowling club was a favourite place. Then a friend of mine, who took pity on me as she knows how dreadful my husband is to me, suggested we use her granny flat whenever we need each other. I cannot tell you how grateful I am to that friend; she has been a lifesaver for us. 

It's a strange situation when you go into a new relationship, knowing it won’t last forever – Jeremy’s doctor says he might have two more years to live. It’s a difficult pill to swallow. But I’d rather spend two years with the love of my life than waste any more years with a man who doesn’t love me and treats me like garbage.

There is so much to love about Jeremy. Not only is he kind, but he’s a fantastic lover, it’s almost as though, knowing he doesn’t have long to live, has given him this huge lust for life. I’ve never had great sex like this - he does all the things my husband refuses to do to me, such as oral sex. Yes, my husband refuses to go down on me, unlike Jeremy who can spend ages down there and tells me he can never get enough of me. When we are apart, I spend much of my day fantasising about our sex. He’s also introduced me to a few fetishes such as tying me up during sex which is more fun than I thought it would be – handcuffs as well as silk scarves.

But, at the same time, I never imagined falling in love with a man who won’t live to an old age. Of course, I hold out hope, and pray for a miracle. There was just one doctor who believes Jeremy might have as much as four years left. But we’re just taking things one day at a time. Once I get a well-paid job, I will leave my marriage as I’m quite trapped right now. I am just living for the day when Jeremy and I can live together and stop sneaking around because it is very stressful.  

I want to devote my life to him, to care for him when his cancer becomes worse, as we’ve been warned the next year or so will be critical for him. I also hold out hope that there are some experimental drugs that Jeremy’s doctor is encouraging him to try – the most important thing is to keep hoping. I feel so lucky to have this incredible love. I won’t ever give up on him, not until the very end. 

Feature Image: Getty.