My kids have always been high spirited, lots of energy and sass. Isabelle was a very easy going baby who would wait for her more demanding sister to be attended to first. She would be patient, kind and loved being around people. Being twins people loved labelling the girls- Isabelle was the “good one”, the “little one”, the “friendly one”. I really hated the labels. It made me sick when people would say Grace was the “fat one” or the “unfriendly one”. I tied to stop people from doing this it was psychology damaging. Especially now with medical issues involved, the tables have turned and rolls reversed, does it make Isabelle the “sick one” the “naughty one”.
(To read more about Isabelle and her surgery, click here.)
The labelling of “naughty” causes me angst, (unless I am the one saying my kids are naughty). Many people are avoided because of this. However there’s people I don’t avoid, they make Isabelle relaxed, I’m relaxed which then allows everyone to breathe and be ourselves. It’s a sense that everyone picks up and runs with it. Isabelle is so well behaved around these people because there’s no stress and if she is not, then it doesn’t matter. This leads to the other kids being relaxed and the chain reaction begins.
She is accepted for her quirky behaviours and they take her as she is. Their kids now know not to take the quirks personally. Isabelle is literal, it is only black or white, no shades of grey. Last week Isabelle was dragging her feet and I said “come on, you need to pull your socks up” so she bent over and pulled her actual socks right up. Then she asked if I was happy. Yes, ecstatic you can pull your Yellow socks up to your knees.
Top Comments
Don't worry, it's not just you. When I had two daughters a year apart, a friend warned me how often they'd be compared. I have been amazed at how frequently this occurs and it's so unhelpful. People seem to need to categorise children, as if they are stagnant personalities that never change and grow. Very frustrating. I dread when they reach teenage years, when one will no doubt be labelled the 'pretty one.'
Good luck on your journey - it sounds exhausting, but you are doing a great job. I hope those neural pathways regenerate. Thanks for sharing your story.