There's a uniquely Australian phenomenon that has been quietly unfolding over the years - a gentle, almost affectionate, slow ghosting of the British royal family. We're not talking about dramatic political statements, protests in the streets, or passionate debates at the pub.
No, this is about a subtler, more quintessentially Aussie form of disengagement. We're fading out. Casually. Politely. And with just a hint of "Yeah, nah."
ICYMI: King Charles III and Queen Camilla have arrived on Australian shores to a resounding yawn. Locals are giving this royal tour the same energy as a teenager who's been told to make their way back from a friend's house because great aunt Doris has been given day release from the nursing home. Because, let's face it - no Kate, no William, no fun.
Remember 2018? Simpler times, when Harry and Meghan's royal tour had Australians lining the streets, practically begging for a glimpse of the Duke and Duchess. It was a full-blown love fest - crowds flocked to see them, their every wave and smile met with enthusiastic cheers.
Watch: The royal tour highlights of Meghan and Harry when they visited Australia, Fiji, Tonga, and New Zealand. Post continues after video.
They were young, glamorous, and, let's be honest, they had that "spark" that made the whole country swoon. They even managed to make Dubbo look like the centre of the universe for a hot minute. No mean feat.
Flash forward to 2024's royal tour and it's like comparing a sold-out music festival to a quiet Tuesday night at the local bingo hall. Where Harry and Meghan's tour felt like a jubilant parade, Charles and Camilla's visit has been more of a polite nod from across the street, with Australia barely looking up from its coffee.
Maybe it's because Harry and Meghan brought a sense of modernity, a vibe that was refreshingly relatable. They hugged people, they took selfies, they even looked like they were having fun. Plus, there was a baby announcement in the mix - instant crowd-pleaser. Australians love a good underdog story, and Harry and Meghan's willingness to break the mould and do things a bit differently resonated with that.
To be fair, Charles and Camilla are a different generation, and they bring a more traditional sense of duty. But in 2024, that's just not cutting it. Australians don't want formality, they want relatability. They want royals who seem like they might actually sit down and have a yarn over a meat pie, not just swoop in, wave from a distance, and move on.
You see, Australians have always had a complicated relationship with the royals. Sure, we can still get swept up in the occasional wave of royal baby fever, and we'll catch the odd glimpse of the coronation highlights (if only to marvel at the size of the hats). But, on the whole, we've become quite adept at the art of soft ghosting our British leaders - responding just enough to be polite, but not enough to suggest we're in it for the long haul.
Imagine this: the royals texted, "Hey, want to keep this constitutional monarchy thing going?" and Australia left them on read. We're still technically friends, but we're not exactly engaging in deep and meaningful conversations, are we? It's like the royal family is that one mate from high school who sends an annual Christmas card, and we're the ones responding with a thumbs-up emoji, hoping they'll get the hint.
It's not that we don't like the royals. They're nice. Pleasant. Harmless. They show up, cut a ribbon, shake some hands, and flash a smile. But there's no denying that the old sparkle has dimmed. Where once there was curiosity and a little awe, now there's just a collective "meh."
Oh sure, we'll still tune in to the big royal events, if only for the meme potential. But gone are the days when Australians would roll out the red carpet for a Windsor. Now, we're more likely to raise an eyebrow and say, "Oh, right, they're here," before getting back to what we were doing.
Perhaps the most telling sign of Australia's waning enthusiasm for the royals came when all six state premiers politely declined their invitations to King Charles's welcome reception in Canberra, citing "other commitments."
Now, in true Aussie fashion, this wasn't an outright snub - just a series of vaguely plausible excuses that, in the end, meant the King was left mingling without much of the local leadership around.
Some of the reasons might be genuine; for example, Queensland's Premier Steven Miles is knee-deep in the final weeks of an election campaign, which is about as close to a valid "can't make it, mate" as you can get. But when every state leader suddenly has a diary clash, it does start to feel like a very polite, very diplomatic way of saying, "Thanks, but no thanks."
Listen to Mamamia Out Loud where Holly, Jessie and guest host, Amelia Lester unpack the underwhelming welcome of Charles & Camilla. Post continues after audio.
The thing is, Australians aren't ones for dramatic exits. We're not going to storm out of the Commonwealth with a grand speech and a confetti cannon. We'll just slowly fade out, like that mate who stopped responding to the group chat because they boifed up.
And so, we continue to soft ghost. We haven't officially cut ties, but we're not exactly keen to DTR (define the relationship), either. We'll smile, nod, and say "G'day," but we're also making sure our phones are set to 'Do Not Disturb' just in case the royals come calling. And who knows? Maybe one day we'll do a full-on fade, the kind where you unfollow on Instagram but still keep them as a friend on Facebook.
Until then, we'll keep doing what we do best: offering a casual, friendly indifference, and letting the royals know that, really, it's not them - it's us.
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Feature image: AAP/Mamamia.